Best joke in the world

Reply back with your favorite joke. Mine:

A lion held a huge party at his place. He invited only his fellow lions. The lions were dancing when a mouse also came a joined in.
The lion asked the mouse why he entered the party when the other species were not invited.
The mouse said 'Shaadi se pehle main bhi sher tha'

He sings well no doubt!...but looks gay.
self obsession has no limits.
Once a girl was drinking coke. She suddenly discovered a fly in her drink and took it out from the coke. The fly gave birth to a baby fly right there and died.
The baby fly opened it's eyes
looked at the girl and said , 'maaa!'.

The girl asked the baby fly,'main tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tu mujhe kyon
maa bulati hai?'
The fly replied, 'kyon kai maine tumhari coke se janam liya hai.'
funny,but not scinetific,thelife cycle of a bee need to be alarva stage.when a girl see amigit in coke she will drop the glass right away,and scream
it is a joke damnit...it doesnt have to be scientific :P
i know you feel to be humour ,but nothing in it to be laugh vote it
I think it was pretty funny!
Pakistan aur India kay beech jang ho rahi thi. Sarhad par dono forces tayyar theen, but dono sarhad kay paar jaanay say dar rahi thi.
Itnay main India ki taraf say Hawaldar Pawan Kumar Jhonkay utha, aur bhagta hua sarhad paar kar kay Pakistan ki taraf aa gaya. Pakistani forces nay usko kuch nahi kaha. Kyun??

Kyunkay:
Panchi, nadya, Pawan K. Jhonkay,
Koi sarhad na inhe rokay!
haha..kia chawal hey..
haha.good funny
hahahaahah soooooooooooooo funny....
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical exam with his wife. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample and a stool sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"

"What did he say? What's he want?"

His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."
VERY FUNNY.
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave kneels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?
mai tmy aik joke sunata hn
univ boy say "kal say parho ga"
Jindwadda train main safar ker raha tha, train khacha khuch bhari hui thi. Jindwadday ka pet kharab ho giya aur bari zor say dast aaya magar logon kay rush ki wajah say toilet tak nahi ja saka. Jab dast uss ki bardasht say bahar hogiya to uss nay shalwar nichay karkay apnay chooter train ki khirki say bahar nikaal ker dust ker diya jo kay pechlay dabbay mein khirki kay paas bethay Phooldeen ka mun per jaker gira. Phooldeen samjha kay kisi nay ulti(vomiting) ki hai.Thori der baad Jindwadday ko phir dast aaya aur uss nay phir apnay chooter train ki khirki say bahar nikal ker dust ker diya jo phir Phooldeen kay mun per ja para. Ab Phooldeen ko gussa agiya aur woh train ki khirki say mun nikaal ker beth giya ke dekhoon kaun itni ultiyan ker raha hay. Jindwadday nay jab teesri baar dust kiya to Phooldeen nay dekh liya aur train kay guard kay paas shikayat kernay chalagiya kay eik aaadmi baar baar us per ultiyan ker raha hai. Train guard nay Phooldeen say poocha kay tumhain us aadmi ki shakal yaad hai jo ultiyan ker raha hai. Phooldeen bola..haan haan uss kaa CHHOTA saa MUN(mouth) hai aur BARAY BARAY GAAL hain (wo Jindwadday kay chootron ko uss ka chehra samjha)..........hahaha.
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

simply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
what rubbish......stupid joke say hansi nahi rona ata hai k isay lateefa kon kahta hai......be sensible people agar sunana hai to achay joke sunao jo sun k hansi aye.....the best one was lion joke.....v nice abhi tak
Ek sardarji electronics ki dukan main jaaker boltay hain k mujhey yeh wala TV chayye. Dukandar kehta hey k nahin main aap ko yeh TV nahin desakta.

Sardarji thori der baad bhes badal kar aatay hain aur kehtey hain mujhey yeh wala TV chayye. Dukandar phir mana kardeta hey.

Sardarji teesri baar bhes badal kar aatay hain k yeh wala TV chayye. Dukandar phir mana kardeta hey. Sardarji aakhir ghussay main aaker poochtey hain k tu baar baar mujhey pehchan kaisey leta hey.

Dukandar kehta hey "kyunkey yeh TV nahin microwave hey".
Train main Ek Behra Doosray Behray se:

"App Lahore jarahay hain"

Doosra:

"Nahin main Lahore jaraha hoon".

Pehla:

'Acha sorry! main samjha aap lahore jarahay hain".
huckleberry v. v.nic best 1s so far

dabai main daba
dabai main kargush
nana nei aankh mari
nani behoosh
lolz @sardar g
Sardarji is working on the third floor of a building when the phone rings. Sardarji answers. The voice says "Banta singh tumhari beti ka accident hogaya hey'.

Sardarji screams and jumps from the window of the third floor. When he is passing the second floor he realizes, "oye meri beti kahan hey jo uska accident hoga".

When he is passing the first floor he thinks "oye..meri abhi shadi kaha hoi he jo meri beti hogi".

Just when he is about to hit the ground he realizes "oye..yeh banta singh kaun hey..mera naam tu Jaswant hey".
sab sey acha joke so far @uqaab
Aik admi ki shaadi hoti hay ,lakin usaay maloom nahi hota kay suhaag raat per kia kartay hain.
woh apnay doost say poochata hai , doost kahta hai yeh mobile lay loo may tumay phone per batata rahon gaa.
On suhaag raat he enters in room and dialed his friend ,he start giving instructions....first take off all ornaments , phir kapray utaaroo ,phir shalwar,Ab woh thing neechay dalo jo meray pass bhi hai or tumahary pass bhi lakin tumhari biwi kay pass nahi..........
He thinks for a while and then put his mobile inside her.
Aik baccha maa kay seenay ki taraf isharra kar kay poochata hai maa yai kia hai
mother got nervious and replied baloon
baccha then kehta hai kay hamaree mulazma kay baloon to bohat baray hain ...........maa ask when u have seen her baloon..............
baccha kehta hai jab abbu subah unn main hawa bhar rahay thay..
-----------------------------
What is the definition of bravery?
Answer: A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
-----------------------------
What would you call the definition of surprise?
Answer: A fart with a lump in it.
-----------------------------
Why do farts stink?
Answer: So that deaf people can enjoy them also!
-----------------------------
When to fart?
Answer: Boss's office as you are about to leave. - best to make sure it's silent but violent.
-----------------------------
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
Answer: He worked it out with a pencil.
-----------------------------
What is the sharpest thing in the world?
Answer: A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.
-----------------------------
What do you get if you eat beans and onions?
Answer: Tear Gas.
-----------------------------
An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building.

A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, " OBSESSION, $100 an ounce!"

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destiny and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, she bends over, and farts....... "Kidney Beans - 49 cents a pound!!!"
very funny joke.
Aik sardar pehlee dafa jahaz mein bethta hai......jesay hee jehaz urtha hai , isko vomiting aatee hai ,voh plastic bag mein moonh dal laita hai.........Air hostess ussay dekhtey hoay guzar jatee hai , Thori deer baad wo wapis aati hai to dekhtee hai jahaz kay tamam loog vomiting kar rahi hoteen hann orr wo sardar aram say betha hoa hota hai...

woh sardar say pochtee hai ,inkoo kia howa , sarda kehta hai pata nahi jab mein vomit kar raha tha to yeh sab mujhay heerat say dekh rahay theey mein samjah mein nay koiee khalat kaam kia ,isliay mein woh plastic bag dobaraa peei gaya.
uqaab and asim you have sickest sense of humor,uqaab i bet is either a janitor or a garbage man.
Aik baccha apni teacher say madam:bacchoon kay bachchay hoo saktay hann.
madam: nahi
baccha apni saath wali seat per bathee hoi bachi say ,dekha mein nahi kehat tha tum aisay hee dar rahi theen.
Teacher: Bacho wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrat nahi piyo gay,
Bachey: nahi peyan gay
Teacher: girls ka picha nahi karo gay
Bachey: nahi karengay
Teacher: girls say friend ship nahi karogay
Bachey: nahi karengay
Teacher: or watan pe zindagi qurban karogay
Bachey: Kar dengay ,aisi zindagi ka or karna bhi kya hai................
Eldest son Dad meri Girl friend pregnent ho gayi hai. 50,000 maang rahi hai chup rehne ke.

Dad slaps him n pays him.
2 months passed 2nd son, meri gril friend pregnent hai & demanding 75000.

Dad slaps him n pays.
After 6 months,unmarried daughter ,Dad I m pregnent.

Dad kisses her n said ,ab paise lene ki hamari bai hai.
please don't post vulgar jokes.
there is a landy(poopi) named mahwish in canada who is dying to become mrs janitor or mrs garbage man :)
cmon yaar uqaab hameesha tumhari favour main bolti hon 1 comment tumharey against kernay per mujhay bhi mehwish_junk bana dia :)by the way wt is new version of mehwish kachra?
funny na?waisay mehwish tum bohat khabees AUNTY ho tum nay meri naqli id bhi bana li,check a dot(.)in begening of my id Naintara i.e (.Naintara)lanat hay mehwish tum per...............huhhh
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked :
How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied :
Ok! We will apply next year.
@nazia00

I heard when girls say no it means yes .....n when they say dont it means do.........

so more vulgar jokes
A boy was driving a car, A girl was trying to overtake him rashly.

Boy: Hey...........Buffalo!
Girl shouts back: You bull, Donkey, Stupid!

Then she accidents and hits the buffalo crossing the road.

Moral: Girls never understand what boys say.....!
sardar jee ghar phone karta hai apni maa ko dosaray mulk say.
sardar: maa mughay Aids ho gai hai.
maa: Beta to ghar matt aana..
sardar: woh keon maa
maa:
Agar too ghar aaya to tugh say teri biwi ko ho jai gee. Teri biwi say teray baray bhai ko ho jai gee or teray baray bhai say mulazma ko ho jai gee or agar mulazama ko ho gai to teray babu gee ko ho jai gee or teray babu gee say mughay ho jai gee or agar mughay ho gai to saray pind ko ho jai gee........tu putar pind noh bachalay.
Aaj sab ka asli bhes samne aa geya, tu yeh hai asim sahab aap ki asliyet...i used to think u were the only religiously-educated guy...guess i was wrong then.
bohot afsoos hua yehan aa ker.
jokes to jokes hottay hain ,na to woh religiously or na hi educated ho saktay hain......they just for a laugh so don't take them seriously and I don't make jokes , I heard and read them so not my fault.
1 Sardar aur Pathan ko 1000 rupee road per gire mile to sardar kehta hai ke 50-50 karte hain to Pathan bola baqi 900 ka kiya karen ge!!
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.
boy:i can kiss u even without touching u ...!!
girl: u can`t...
boy: lagi 20 20 ki shart
girl : ok
(boy kiss tightly)
girl: u touched me ....!!


boy: yay lo 20 rupay ...
A man went to police station to report that his wife was lost & missing. There he found another person reporting the same.

The police man asked the person who was there earlier, "How does your wife look like??"

That man replied, "She is a smart, good looking woman, 5 feet 8 inch, 36-28-32, beautiful & attractive body with blonde hairs"

Police man noted down those details and asked the other person, "What does your wife look like?"

He said in excitement, "Forget mine, let's go and find his wife!!!"
1. A small boy opens the door and looks at his sister's boy friend and asks innocently "Every day you come to meet my sister , don't you have your own sister"



2. Santa went for an interview Bank manager: what is cyclone ? Santa: It is a smallest loan given by bank to buy a cycle.



3. Innocent kid handling his breakup ... Main tumhe bhulne ki bahut koshish karta hun, par kya karun mummmy roj BAADAAM khila deti hai. Aur muje tumhaari YAAD fir see aa jaati hai



4. Pintu was having habbit of eating nails of his hand, His parents sent him to Ramdev Baba for treatment.. . . . Now Pintu can also eat nails of his legs..



5. Teeth said 2 Tongue " If I just press u little hard, you will get cut. Tongue replied: "If I misuse 1 word against some 1, then all the 32 of u will come out at once



6. Ek bachha door bell bajaane ki koshish kar raha tha. Ek old man ne dekha aur bell baja di.Aur bachhe se bola: Aur kuch beta? Bachha: Ab bhaago.



7. Santa: Doctor ye maala kis ke liye hai ? Doctor: Ye meri life ka first operation hai. Safal ho gaya toh mere liye, nai toh tumhaare liye.



8. Dada(Grand Father): Beta ja paani le aa. Pota(Grand Son): Mai nai laa sakta, mai game khel raha hun 2nd Pota (Second grand son): Rahne do dada g, ye to hai he BADATMEEZ... . ... .. ... .. .. Ap khud he ja k le aao.



9. World's shortest poem.. Baba black sheep have u any wool? .. .. ... .. . sheep: NO, get lost.



10. Jinn : Kya huqum hai mere Aaka ? Aaka: Mere account me jaldi se 10 crore rs aur katrina se shaadi 10 sec me karwa do. Jinn: Aaaka, huqum karo...bakwaas mat karo !!!



11. Police: Oye, carparking ki jagah bike kyu park ki hai ? Santa: just smiled and said "sirf do pahiyon ka farak hai UNCLE, aa jayenge



12. Ek dukhi aadmi bola: Aisi zindagi se toh maut achhy. Achanak yamdoot aya aur bola : Tumhaari jaan lene ka huqum hai. Aadmi: lo kar lo baaat, ab insaan majaak b nai kar sakta.



13. A poor man of U.P catches a fish but can't cook due to No gas No electricity No Oil Man puts fish back in to river. Fish comes up and shout "Mayaavati zindabaad



14. Santa london k ek hotel me murgi khaane gaya lekin murgi ka english word bhool gaya Waiter: What would you like to have sir ? Santa: 1 plate Egg's mother



15. Pathan Ladki se: I Love you !
Ladki:Tameez se baaat karo
Pathan: Bismilllah Hir rehman Nir Reheeem, with due respect I beg to say that "I Love you".



16.Taj Mahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota..
Taj Mahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota.
Aj apna bhi bank balance hota agar dada aashiq na hota.
number 14 is the best one.
Asim BHAI, I am straight forward not that kind of girl.
@nazia00

I appologize........I did't mean that, I just mention a general misconception about girls which is obviously not stand all the time.

Once again sorry ......thanks for calling me bhai.
Some definitions of farts and pooping for your pleasure.

1- Escapee
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall.

2- Jailbreak
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea.

3- Courtesy Flush
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom.

4- Walk of Shame
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom.

5- Safe Havens
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors.

6- Turd Burglar
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open.

7- Havana Omlet
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee.
Tum Nahi sudhroo gey Mr Uqaab
kuttey ki dum 100 saal bhi nalli main rakhoo sali terrii hi nikley gi
Jokes pay hansaa jata hai na k sharminda hoa jaye, please vidpk ko apni class room na banayein
Thankss
just for you muslimk,

Fart Poem

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known,
To sound just like a song.

Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.

A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly.

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.

So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.
Allah tum ko samjhey
ghandey insaaan
ganddi bhangan, tum pakhan kha lo.
Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.
Beefy Fart: Sounds loud, and will smell a bit like the rotting offspring of a B.S.E infected cow and a dog turd.
Eggy Fart: Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulfide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.
i came here to post sumthng..per zara sa perh k hi bas ho gae hai..sakhat dukh hota apnoon ka yeh haal dekh k yeh hein ham r yeh hai hamari zehniat...
wo Iqbal ka nojwan to kahin kho hi gaya hai...
jokes k liay zaroori nhi k aap ghalat baat karo to joke hai,,,bohat aala qism k jokes hoty hein jo k banda har aik ko gher me b suanata hai r jab b yaad ata hai aik smile aa jati hai chehry pe..yeh jo jokes aap ne post kiay apny gher me suna sakty hein kisi ko????
pata nahi ham kaha ja rahy hein..ALLAH hamari soch ko saaf rakhey..ameen
junglee apney gher ki batien baher nahien batatey..)
asim sardar ji who got aids was very funny
Uqaab bhai tu aik hi topic pey arr gaye hien he must see a gastroentrologist asap..
hehehe
@navilla83 aur Mierva
Iss main Mr Ghandey Uqaab ka koi qasoor nahi hai, becharey k pass aqal naam ki koi cheez hai hi nahi, jo kuch hai ghandagi hai, woo hi bechara net pay post kar deyta hai, iss ka elaaj ye hai k iss ko Ignore kar dooo
thank u
Ghandee muslimk, yeh sirf tumhare liye likha hai,

Kuch is tarah Chirchirake ke nikla pechish ka ghoo
Jaise kisi ne jalti phuljhadi ko kha ke hag diya
Goo jesi tumhari shakal Pakhaney jesi tumhari batein Ghandey pagal ulloo Uqaab
pechish bohot zordaar lagi hai tumhen...khoob dhamakay ho rahay hain, pakhanay ki barsaat kay saath...hahaha
@ ghaleez insaan
same to u!
got to say uqaab is creative if only this way.. hehehe
yes Mierva he sure does creative but ONLY in ghalaazaat
bechaari muslimk to pakhana kerti hi nahi hai, balkay bar bar ghilaazaat per mun marti hai.
aur ghoo khaney aajaati hai.
naani amman ne munnay se kaha, "betay, jab tumhen khaansi aae to mun per haath rakh liya karo"
munna bola, "naani amman aap fikar na karen, meray daant aap ki tarha naqlee nahi hain"
Ustaad Shagird say, tumharay walid ka kiya naam hay? Shagird janab bulb deen. Ustaad, bulb deen yeh kesa naam hay? Shagird jinab pehly un ka naam chirag deen tha. lekin jab se science ne taraqqi ki hay tab se unho nay apna naam bulb deen rakh diya hay.
Aik daffa bus main cricket team ke kuch khalari safar kar rahay thay or apas main lar jhagar rahay thay. aik buzurg un ki waja say bohot ghussay main aa gaye. jab un say raha na gaya to uth kar bolay. Allama Iqbal nay such hi kaha tha. Utha ke phenk do baaher gali main Nai tehzeeb kay anday hain ganday Aik khilari khara ho kar bola, baba jee Allama Iqbal nay ye us waqt kaha tha jab aap jawan thay, hum to us waqt peda hi nahi hoye thay.
ab load sheDDIng k baad doobara chiraghdeen hi rakhliya hoga............electricity crisis
deep thought...very true :-)
Molvi sahab (bachay se) parho beta h se halwa han shabash halaq se nikalo. Bachay ki maan ne andar se ghabra ke kaha, molvi sahab! Aap bachay ke halaq se halwa na nikalwayen main or bana deti hun.
Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.
Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
Santa enters a store that sell curtains.

He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."

The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.

Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."

"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"

Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"

Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
hehehe very funny and best jokes so far squidwrads..P
khesyani billi khamba noochay...........
Aik choonta or choonti film dekh kar cinema se baher aye. thori dor pedal chalne ke bad choontay ne choonti se pocha. Begam, pedal chalein ya kutta kar lain?
Aik kanjoos admi ne apne bachon se kaha, jo raat ka khana nahi khaye ga main us ko 1 rupiya dun ga. sab bache 1 rope ki khatir bhoke so gaye. Subha nashte ke waqt in ke baap ne sab ko aik aik ropya diya or phir bola, nashta is ko mile ga jo aik rupiya wapis kare ga.
bacha, meri ammi mujhe jab subha jagati hain to kehti hain, utho beta dopeher ho gai, tum abhi tak soyy hoye ho, dosra bacha to phir? pehla bacha, lakin jab main dopeher ka khana mangta hun to kehtien hain, aaj tumhein itni subha sawere bhook lag gai.
bhikari ne aik khatoon se kaha. mujhe kuch khane ko mil sakta hay?
kal ka salan kha lo gey? khatoon ne poucha.
bhikari bola, jee han koi harj nahi.
khatoon ne kaha, acha to phir kal aa jana.
aik dehati pehli martaba sheher main gya. wahan us ne aik dokan main aik ayna dekha, who bohot heran hoa or usey khareed kar ghar main aya, who hamesha isey apne sarhaney rakhta, aik din is ki biwi ne ayna dekha to roney lagi or ja kar apni saas se kaha, aap ke bete ne sheher ja kar doosri shadi kar li hay, ye keh kar saas ko is ne ayena dekhaya, jab saas ne who ayena dekhaya to kahne lagi, koi baat nahi boorhi hay jaldi hi mar jaye gi.
Zeus funny jokes.
dhobi ka kuta na gher ka na ghat ka..
Ek sardar bhari bus me ek Larki ko piche se Touch kar raha tha...
Larki: Excuse me aap acha nahi kar rahay...
Sardar: Itnay rush me is se acha nahi hosakta...
Agar mobile pakistan ijaad karta to uss mey yeh templates hote:

1.Begherat call kar
2.cigret leta hua aiyin
3.Date par hun.
4.Yar kisi bachi ka number to de
5.Balance hai to share maar dey
6.Bakwas band kar...!
7.kaminy ....!mar gya tha kia...
8.Lite aa gayi hai...?
9.Os ko gandi nazar se na diekh,bhabi aye teri
10.Yar bachi naraz hogai ek do pappu c ghazlen to bhej
11.Abi call nahi karo jaan Ammi sath hain.
12.Tumhari Maa behan nahi.....Kameenay!
All Scientists Fail To Answer This,

But Santa Rocks.

Q: Which Liquid Thing Turns Solid On Heating?

?
?
?
?
?

Ans:- Baisan K Pakore. :-)
Pakistan aur India ke Border mai bane Check Post mai officer apne office mai betha tha itne mai aik sipahi Aaya Aur kehne Laga: Sir mujhe Leave pe jana Hai
Officer: iss situation mai tum Leave pe nahi jasakte han agar jana zaroori hai tho aik shart hai?
Sipahi: Sir mai her qeemat pe jana chahta hon
Officer: Tho Indian Army ka aik Tank lay aao. sipahi kutch der baad aaya aur kaha Sir dushman ka tank lay aaya hon.
Officer: Tumhari leave tho accept hogai per itni jaldi tank kaisay lay aaye?

Sipahi: Sir Baharthi sipahion ko jub Leave pe jana hotha hai tho wo hamare Tank lay jate hain
Pathan: Blood kay baray mai book parh raha tha.
wife: ye q parh rahay ho?
Pathan:mujhe doctor nay kaha hay k blood test hoga ,is liay test ki tyari kar raha hum.
sardar 12 ween manzel per kam kar raha hota hai kay aik admi aata hai or kehta hai ranjeet singh tumhari beti parosi kay larkay kay saath bhag gai.
sardar khusaay may aa kar 12 ween manzel say chalang laga deta hai.

jab wo 9 ween manzel say guzar raha hota hai ,ussay khyal aata hai kay uss ki to beti hi nahi.

jab wo 5 ween manzel say guzar raha hota hai ,ussay yaad aata hai kay uss ki to abhi shaadi bhi nahi hoi.

jab wo zameen say thori door reh jata hai to ussay yad atta hai kay uss ka naam to Tara sigh hai.
@mierva kay ghar ki baat.

Aik baccha apnay maa baap ko sex kartay hoyay dekh leta hai , wo apnay baap say pochta hai app ammi may kia daal rahay thay.
Baap ghabra kay kehta hai ,petrol daal raha tha.
Bachaa ,app ammi ke average check kareen subah say driver or uss kay baad khansama bhi petrol daal chukay hain.
aik shaadi shuda joray nay sex karnay kay liay code rakha howa hota hai. jab admi ka dil chah raha ho ga to wo kahay ga kay aaj kapray dohnay hain or agar biwi ka bhi dil chah raha ho ga to wo kahay gi kay machine theek hai.

Aik din admi bara hansi khushi ghar aata hai or biwi say kehta hai kay aaj kapray dohnay hain ,biwi ka mood nahi hota wo kehti hai aaj machine kharab hai.
Admi munh latka kay kamray may chala jata hai.Biwi ko thri deer baad apnay sohar per taras aa jata hai wo kamray may jati hai or kehti hai machine deekh ho gai.

Admi kehta hai baas ab zaroorat nahi may nay haath say hi doh liay .
Aik bachi apni ammi say kehti hai wo samnay wala baccha hai na uss ki lulli bilkul munhphali gesi hai.
Maa kia tum nay dekhi bohat choti hai?
Bachi nahi uss ka zaiqa bohat namkeen hai.
Ek dakoo ne 5 cror ki daketi ki us ne sari money zameen khod ker daba di bad mein usko police pakar kar le gai, kuch din bad us ki biwi us se milne aai tu dako ne poocha ke rakam tu mehfooz hai na??koi chura tu nahi lega tu biwi ne khush hoker kaha tussi fikir hi na karo jahan tum ne paisey dabae the waha 8 manzil ka Plaza ban giya hai.
Ek admi newspaper mein advertisment parh raha tha us mein likha tha "hamare pas ek asi heratangez cheez hai jis ke hote hoe aap sub ko dekh sakte hai lakin aap ko koi nahi dekh sakta jals order karen" us admi ne money bhej di us ko ek Parcel mila us ne betaabi se khola tu us mein ek "BURQA" rakha tha.
hahahahah @ tuktuk
3 dost europe kay mukhtalif mumalik mein winter guzaar ker wapis aye aur sardion kay qissay sunanay lagay.

pehla bola, yaar,mein jiss mulk main tha wahan itni sardee partee thee kay hamari batein jum jati theen aur un ko pighla ker sunna parta tha.

doosra bola, mein ek din so ker uththa to meray bed per eik andda para tha. mein nay socha kay yeh kahan say aya. ...phir khayal aya kay raat ko jo mein nay paad mara tha woh jum ker andda ban gaya tha

teesra bola, yeh to kucch bhi nahi, ek raat ko mein doodh mein straw say sugar mix ker pee giya aur bekhiyaali mein straw waheen bed per daal ker so giya...subha uththa to meray choootron mein khujlee horahi thee. jab khujjaya to wahan straw ghusa hua tha. straw khencha to jamee hui qulfee niklee.
tum sey issi tarha k lateefoon ki tawaqqa hai
3 dost England ghoomne aaey hoe they aur ek hotel mein stay than ek raat jab woh bahr se wapis aaey tu dekha lift kharab ho gae hai hotel 22 manzil tha aur un ka room 22 floor per tha un ke tuo hosh ur gaey ke ab itni stairs charna paren gi tu sab ne kaha ke hum mazedar qissey sunate jaen gey aur stairs chartey jaeyn ge tu pata nahi chale ga jab wo 20 floor per ponche tu akhri dost ki bari thi woh ek dam rone laga tu poocha ke kun ro rahe ho qissa sunao tu us ne kaha kiya bataun mein room ki chabi(key) neechey car mein bhool aaya hoon.
hahahahah good one tuktuk
Ek admi raat ko sardi mein jarah tha ziada hawa lagi tu us ne apna coat unlta pehen liya, ek sardar ji cycle se takkar hogai woh admi gir giya ek Police wale ne dekha tu qareeb aya aur dekha ke admi mara para hai aur sardar ji pareshan kahre hai us na qussey se kaha ke is ko kis ne mara hai tu sardar ji ne ghabra ker kaha ke ji qasam le lein mein ne is ko nahi mara mein ne tu sirf is ki ulti gardam(neck) sidhee kerne ki kosish ki thi.
Shit-Bits

Pakhana/Tatti - all-inclusive name for human faeces.

Ghoo - all-inclusive like excreta, shit, faeces - whether solid, liquid, semi-solid, or watery. All that comes out of the end is ghoo.

Gobar - inclusive name for cattle faeces.

Istanja - synonym for washing pakhana.

Dast - watery and loose faeces. The kind one gets when afflicted with diarrhea.

Pechish - extreme form of diarrhea when somme blood comes out with dast.

Sudda - dry hard and small pieces of excreta - a result of constipation. Equivalent to the

Lenda - a large, round, thick, lengthy piece of excreta (turd).

Lendi - a large, round, thin, lengthy piece of excreta.

Jungal jalebi - produced on an as-is-where-is basis, done by somebody in the open field.

Phutki - a very small, solid-ish piece, which may come out involuntarily while urinating or farting.

Chirki - a watery small portion, which may come out involuntarily while urinating or farting.
sardar jee ney raat main ik gher ka darwaza khatkhataya ik aadmi bahir nikla
sardar jee ...bhai dhakka laga do
admi...jawab diye bagahir darwaza band ker diya
phir kuch dair baad socha ager meri gadi itni raat main kharab hoti aur koi mujhey mana kerta ye socha ker door khola
sardar jee jhola jhol rahey they admi ko dekhtey hi boley bhai dhakka laga do
once sardar was enjoying the sun on Beach in America.A lady came and asked him ARE YOU RELAXING?? Sardar replied NO I AM BANTA SING.Another guy came and asked the same question Sardar answerd NO NO I ME BANTA SING. The third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decieded to shif his place.While he was walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach.He went and asked him ARE YOU RELAXING??The Sardar was much educated and answered YES I AM RELAXING.Our Sardar slapped him on his face and said, SALAY SAB TERE KO WAHAN DOOHND RAHE HAI AUR TU YAHAN ARAMA KER RAHA HAI!
asimpeshawar@ i really lyk ur jokes. hahahha!!
@momo
oh thanks a lot momo...........at least there is some one who is appriciating.
@saniashiraz very funny hahahahahahaha...hhahahahha
Uqab Bhai kahin aap Mutayyab Mirza tu nahi ho.
Daddy, how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other..

There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

'You got Male !
Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Häy...
Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang : Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?
Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi
Aik din Wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha:
Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.
An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in me Shadi ke liye kiya daikha ?
Girl : Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, It is love; After marriage: It is self-defense
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?
How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then..
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
A beautiful women was kissing a lion inside a cage in a circus Ring Master: Can any one do this.?
Sardar ji: Main aata hu Magar pehle sher ko bahar nekalo.
Sardar to his Son: Oye tu sher da putter hy aur wo sher mei hun.
Son: papa school me miss b yhe kehti hein k tu insan nhe kisi Janwar da putter ein
Sardar g ap ko kabi kisi se pyar hua?
Han yar! Per wo manti hi nahi!
"Kia kehti hay?"
"Kehti hay
'I LOVE U 2'
pata nahi ye dosra kon hay.
ONCE THERE WAS A MIRROR WHICH USED TO KILL LIERS:
FRENCH: I Think, I don't Smoke(KILLED)
AMERICAN: I Think, I Love Iraq.(KILLED)
SARDAR: I Think (KILLED)....
Sardar Prays Daily For 2 Hours
"Hey Vahey Guru Meri Lottery Lagade.
After 11 Yrs Vaheguru Angrily Appears & Says -Oey Uloo De Pathay Ticket To Le Le
A Sardar was watching a movie " Jurassic Park " in the cinema.
The Dinosaurs runs towards the screen, Sardar ran quickly outside the cinema.
Friend: Why you are running. It's just a film.
Sardar: Mujhy pata hai ke ye film hai, tujhy pata hai ke ye film hai, magar usay kya pata woh to janwar hai.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so i made it alright.
@asimpeshawar Pathan ne bank se car li
Lekin loan wapis nahi kar saka,
Bank waley car ley gaye,
Pathan: Pehley pata hota to
Shadi bhi bank se loan le kar karta.
@asimpeshawar Qarardad-e-Pakistan 1940 me manzur hui,
Lekin dono mulk 1947 ko AzAD hue??
Q?
Q k 7 saal dono sochte rahe k
PATHAN kon rakhega or SARDAR(sikh) kon?
cmon yaar uqaab hameesha tumhari favour main bolti hon 1 comment tumharey against kernay per mujhay bhi mehwish_junk bana dia :)by the way wt is new version of mehwish kachra?
funny na?waisay mehwish tum bohat khabees AUNTY ho tum nay meri naqli id bhi bana li,check a dot(.)in begening of my id Naintara i.e (.Naintara)lanat hay mehwish tum per...............huhhh
funny na?waisay mehwish tum bohat khabees AUNTY ho tum nay meri naqli id bhi bana li,check a dot(.)in begening of my id Naintara i.e (.Naintara)lanat hay mehwish tum per...............huhhh
cmon yaar uqaab hameesha tumhari favour main bolti hon 1 comment tumharey against kernay per mujhay bhi mehwish_junk bana dia :)by the way wt is new version of mehwish kachra?
cmon vidpk,wt is going on here?i didnt write my last 4 comments,who is doing this?why are you merging my old comments with my new ones?
funny na?waisay mehwish tum bohat khabees AUNTY ho tum nay meri naqli id bhi bana li,check a dot(.)in begening of my id Naintara i.e (.Naintara)lanat hay mehwish tum per...............huhhh
cmon yaar uqaab hameesha tumhari favour main bolti hon 1 comment tumharey against kernay per mujhay bhi mehwish_junk bana dia :)by the way wt is new version of mehwish kachra?
*********************wt the heck is that?i didnt post above 6 comments?how it comes, my 3 or 4 months old comments are re-posted here by itself?wt kind of site is this?**********************
Uqaab yeh tu ker raha hey na ___ zada?
mehwish kutya kahan hey tu ?
@ dot Naintara wt is going on here :) mrs junk dnt try to spread misconception,that was only a fault in site :)
Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into t heir magazines, secure in the knowledge that the pl ane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,"ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
For Uqaab and his fans...
An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"
excellent joke.....hahaha
Do dost peeth se peeth mila kar hag rahe thhey
Ek ko qabz thha doosrey ko dast lag rahe thhey
Qabzi koolhon ne dasti koolhon se kaha
Donon ne ek jaisa hi khhana khhaya thha
Ek hi cook ne wohh pakaaya thha
Tum laga rahe ho qehqahey yahaan muskurahat bhi nahin
Dil bhar ke kya thoda sa aane ki aahat bhi nahin
Khuda ne chaha to kabhi mein bhi qehqahey lagaaoon gaa
Par aaj tumhaarey chheentey dho ke hi khhush ho jaaoon gaa
best jokes from asimpeshawer...much appreciated..
waisey y r ppl trying to find logic n decency in jokes...nything which brings a smile on yr face is worth reading
Job at the FBI

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . .. . Kill her!!'
The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions.

He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for a bout 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.'

The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.

She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another.
They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'


MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,'

she replied. 'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, But I'm glad I came.
Doo macher (mosquito) raat ko sardi mehsose kartey hain to unheen aik aurat leati hoi nazar aati hai. Aik macher peechay wali jagha may or dosra aagay wali jaga may ghuse jata hai.
Subah hoti hai to woh aik dosray say pochtay hain teri raat kesi guzri.

Jo peechay ghusa tha ,wo kehta hai yar meri raat to bohat achee guzri ,sari raat garam garam hawa chaltee rahi ,bohat mazay ki neend ayi.

we pochtah hai or tumhari raat kesi guzri jo agay gusha tha.Yar meri raat bhi bohat achi thi bohat naram or garam jaga thi bass aik ganjay nay bara tang kia ,thori thori deer baad thook phanik kar chala jata tha.
cmon vidpk,wt is going on here?i didnt write my last 4 comments,who is doing this?why are you merging my old comments with my new ones?
An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in me Shadi ke liye kiya daikha ?
Girl : Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi
A Sardar was watching a movie " Jurassic Park " in the cinema.
The Dinosaurs runs towards the screen, Sardar ran quickly outside the cinema.
Friend: Why you are running. It's just a film.
Sardar: Mujhy pata hai ke ye film hai, tujhy pata hai ke ye film hai, magar usay kya pata woh to janwar hai.
Sardar to his Son: Oye tu sher da putter hy aur wo sher mei hun.
Son: papa school me miss b yhe kehti hein k tu insan nhe kisi Janwar da putter ein
Sardar Prays Daily For 2 Hours
"Hey Vahey Guru Meri Lottery Lagade.
After 11 Yrs Vaheguru Angrily Appears & Says -Oey Uloo De Pathay Ticket To Le Le
@asimpeshawar Pathan ne bank se car li
Lekin loan wapis nahi kar saka,
Bank waley car ley gaye,
Pathan: Pehley pata hota to
Shadi bhi bank se loan le kar karta.
A beautiful women was kissing a lion inside a cage in a circus Ring Master: Can any one do this.?
Sardar ji: Main aata hu Magar pehle sher ko bahar nekalo.
Aik din Wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha:
Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.
@asimpeshawar Qarardad-e-Pakistan 1940 me manzur hui,
Lekin dono mulk 1947 ko AzAD hue??
Q?
Q k 7 saal dono sochte rahe k
PATHAN kon rakhega or SARDAR(sikh) kon?
Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Häy...
How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then..
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
ONCE THERE WAS A MIRROR WHICH USED TO KILL LIERS:
FRENCH: I Think, I don't Smoke(KILLED)
AMERICAN: I Think, I Love Iraq.(KILLED)
SARDAR: I Think (KILLED)....
Sardar g ap ko kabi kisi se pyar hua?
Han yar! Per wo manti hi nahi!
"Kia kehti hay?"
"Kehti hay
'I LOVE U 2'
pata nahi ye dosra kon hay.
Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang : Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so i made it alright.
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, It is love; After marriage: It is self-defense
@Naintara

what u doing here...........u r posting again the same jokes which u have posted earlier.....Now don't say that website is doing this. It never happened with me or with any one.

I think u r Schizophrenic.u do things and u don't remember........I m very serious ,don't take me wrong.I know u even don't remember when u do post these things but u did, not first time, u did it at different pages as well.
so take it serious.
@ asimpeshawer why would i do that?can you give me any reason?i think you are a full PAGAL if you are thinking that i am doing that,i am nt a CHARA(single care free man)like you to sit here all the time and taking PANGAS with other members,i dont ve much spare time to post my previous comments again and again,if u ve any doubt you can email to vidpk and ask them wt is going on and who is doing this,i dont know how can ppl judge anything by theirselves and give decision at once "u did, not first time, u did it at different pages as well".
you experience many new things in your life so you cant say"It never happened with me or with any one"take it as learning a new thing in ur life :)
Aik baccha apni ammi say,maa main kaisay paida howa tha.Maa kuch sooch kay :ham loog raat ko soay or jab subah uthay to tum bistar par mojood they.Baccah acha munni kaisay paida hoi.
Maa: ham bazar gaiy to wo wahan mill gai.

Baccha:or chota bablu kaisay aya.
Maa: ussay farishty raat ko chor kay chalay gayay.

Baccha acha tu iss ka matlab hai ham behann bhai mai koi bhi kudratee tareekay say paida nahi howa.
To everyone,
Plz every body should strongly condemn vulgar jokes that have been posted above.It is very shameful for us being muslim and pakistani to express this kind of "SENSE OF HUMOR".I didn't expect to see this type of stuff here specially from people who have been very actively involved in religious discussions.
@kzohra if you are saying about asim P he just cut and paste in religious discussions dont bother.
@kzohra
If u r religious person than u should't visit this web site as in most of the ulema's opinion watching dramas is also not allowed as looking Na mehram male & female and admire them is not recomended.
@kzohra

Aik baccha der say school pohanchta hai.Teacher: tum der say school keon aya.Baccha sir meri chawani gum ho gai the.Teacher aor aslam tum der say keon aya. Aslam sir mai iss ki chawani per pown rakh kar ghara tha.

Teacher :batoo lateefa kisay kehtay hain.
Bachay: sir lateef ke biwi ko.

I remember these two jokes by jamshead Ansari in dram Ankahi while he was trying to bring smile on Maryam face .He was in love with her.It was a great scene , and he acted very well .
Aik wakeel jaeb kutray ka muqadma larta hai or ussi bari karwa deta hai .
wakeel apni fees ka bill jaeb kutray ko deta hai jo kay bohat zaida hota hai.
jaeb kutra: wakeel sahab aap bhool rahay hain ,jaeb kutra aap nahi balkay main hoon.
Once police station receive a phone call. some one said in a very scared voice ,there is a theif in a working women hostel and he is been surrounded by all women so please come quickly and help.

Inspector said :ok we are coming but who u r? he replied ,I am the theif.
not too funny
school may baccha ,bacchi bateen kar rahay theey.
Baccha: tum Mugh say shaadi kar loo.
Bacchi: nahi hum sirf apnay logon may shaadi kartay hain.
Baccha: wo keisay
Bacchi: meray abbu nay ammi say, mamoon nay mumani say and chacha nay chaachi say jesay shaadi ki.
not too funny
@mierva kay liaya

Do doost raat ko soo rahay hotay hain.Aik doost uthta hai or kehkay laganay suroo kar deta hai.
dosra doost ghabra kay ,kia howa?

Yar tum nay jo kal lateefa sunaya tha mughy ab samajh may aya hai.
Ye to qabz ki inteha ho gayee
Chirki bhi jam ke sudda ho gayee

Sookh Sookh ke goo ho gaya hai thhus
Ek lendi bhi na huee tas-se-mus

Yeh jo urh rahee hai phuskion ki dhaans
Ho rahee hai diqqat lene main saans

Zor laga laga ke kulhe ho gaye jaam
Na aaya magar lenda-ae-naazuk andaam

Tasavvur mein teri tasveer banaye baitha hoon
Aaja ae ghoo main bal khaaye baitha hoon
sohar nay biwi say kaha chalo darling kaheen khana khanay chaltay hain.
Biwi :tumhain kitna khayal hai mera ,shaed tumhaeen ehsaas ho gaya kay main kitna thak jateen hon khana paka kar.
sohar: nahi balkay main bohhat thak jata hoon playteen dohh dohh kar.
Bacchay ganjay mehman ko dekh kar hans rahay hotay hain.
mehman:tum log hans keon rahay ho.
Bacchay: ammi nay aap kay kamray may kangee or brush bhi rakh deya hai.
Aik kanjoos dolat mand say marnay kay baad farishtay nay sawal kia .
Tum nay dunya may koi neeki kee.
Kanjoos: main nay aik dafa aik ghareeb ko aik rupya diya tha.
farishta: aur kuch
Kanjoos: aik dafa hospital main do rupay diyay.
farishta:aur kuch yaad karo
kanjoos: haan aik faqeer ko 5 rupay diyay.
farishta :yeh loo apnay 8 rupay or chalo dozakh main.
Basanta Singh: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swad hai!
Jasmeet Kaur: Hey Bhagwaan! na janey inhoney kiya kiya khaya hua hai k gobar ka swad bhi pata hai
Biwi nay sharma kay apnay sohar say kaha ,aap to bilkul romantic nahi hain. Raheela ka mian ussay meri chand or meri tara keh kay bulata hai.

sohar: wo mahir-e-falkiyat hai or main hewanoo ka doctor.
chaar chootay chootay bacchoon ki mann tesri shaadi kar rahi hoti hai.
Bacchay kisi baat per larna shurroo kar detay hain.
Maa ghusssay main ghonghat say munh nikaal kar ,chup ho jao warna ayinda nahi lay kar awoon gee.
aik militray hospital ki new nurse fooji maskeen dekhnay jatee hai. Aik saath rifal ki gooliyon ki firing say seham kar sath kharay fooji ka bazoo mazbooti say pakar leeti hai.
thori deer baad apnay khauf par qaboo panay kay baad sherminda ho kar fooji say.

Maaf kijiyah ga ,app nay bura to nahi mana.
fooji: bilkul nahi ,aiyaah app ko toopoon ki maskeen bhi dekha doon.
Ek Aurat ke 3 Damaad the ek din us ne socha in sab ko azmana chahiye, woh ek damak ke sah dariy per gai tu woh pani mein doobne lagi damaad ne chalang laga ker saas ko bacha liya,dosre din damaad subah utha tu us ke ghar mein new cycle kahri thi ye saas ki taraf se gift tha,isi tarah doosre daamad ne bhi saas ko doobne se bachaya aur usko subha new moter cycle khari saas ki taraf se mili,jab so 3rd damaad ke sath dariya per gai aur doone lagi tu daamad ne socha ke mere paas tu motor cycle tu mujud hai is liye us ne saas ko doob nane diya aur woh doob ker mer gai,subah jab damad sou ker utha tu us ke ghar mein new car kari thi ye susar ki tarf se piyra daad ke liey gift tha.
Ek salesman ne customer se kaha ke hamara computer har sawal ka correct jawab de sakta hai ap jo chahe sawal karen, us admi ne poocha acha ye batao mere father is waqt kahan hain? computer ne jawab diya woh is waqt London mein kisi meeting mein busy hain, us admi ne hans ker kaha tumhare computer ko tu kuch bhi maloom nahi mere walid tu zindah hi nahi hain salesman ne pareshan hoker kaha hamara computer wrong jawab nahi de sakta aap is sawal ko dosre tariqay se poochein admi ne likha ke meri walda ke shohar is waqt kahan hain computer ka jawab aaya ke un ka 20 saal pehle intaqal ho chuka hai.
navilla83 & kzohra both of u r right. there r some sick people here who should keep their sick jokes and sick mind to themselves...may Allah guide them Aameen.
I dont understand why people take everything so personal.Watching dramas doesn't allow us to say whatever we want.It is similar to if we commit one crime that means we have freedom to commit other more intense crimes as well.If we can make a traffic violation we did something wrong so lets robb or murder someone too.I never claimed to be a religious scholar or something.I am an ordinary human being.May Allah show us all right path and give us taufeeq to judge and choose between right and wrong.
Aameen
I totally agree with you ,but u can't ignore even small crimes also.Once u know its wrong we should stop ourself to do that. sin is sin does't matter big or small.

Agar aap ko hamara hunsna bura laga to chaleen janab aaj say yeh ayashee bhi choor detain hain. Aur koi hukam ho to wo bhi bata deen.
The doctor told Pathan that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days,
he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Pathan called the doctor to report
he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem ?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home
Once a Pathan was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting
opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy
was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Pathan deserved more service. So,
when the Pathan fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
When the station arrived, the Pathan was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home,
he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife "What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my
20 rupees and woken up someone else"
for asim P
Apathan tried to commit suicide.
Some one asked: why are you doing this?
Pathan: Hamara bivi hamara dost ke saath bhag gaya hai
aur hum apne dost ke bagher nahi jee sakta
athan to Friend: Yara aaj hum ne ek aesa zabardst sweet Dish banaya tum khush hojaye gi.

Friend: O khan sahab kya banaya hai?
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan: Naswar Gosht
@asim, tum hukum ke ghulam kiyun ban gaey?
koi hai jo acha sa joke sunaye?
aik arsaaaaaaa ho gaya hai mazedaar sa lateefa suney hoye
Sardar Walking At Night...
Saamne Gober Para Tha...
Sardar Ne Jhuk Kr Ungli Daal Kar Chakha
Or Bola:
Oh Ye To Gobar Ha...
Shukar Hai Mera Pair Nahi Para...
Paad Maara Hai Tumhi Ne, Na Inkaar Karo
Badboo Soongho Zara, Ab to Iqraar Karo

Kitni Buri Hai Awaaz, Tumhare Paad Ki Awaaz
Sabhi Hue Halaak, Paad Aur Aane Do
Sirf Paad Maro
Paad Maara Hai Tumhi Ne, Na Inkaar Karo

Pehle Bhi Tumne Paada, Pehle Bhi Tumne Soongha
Itna Bura Paada, Paad Nikal Jane Do
Sirf Paad Maro
Paad Maara Hai Tumhi Ne Na Inkaar Karo
kishor kumar ne badboodar phuski chhori aur bola,

ye kyaa huaa, kaise huaa, kab huaa
kyo huaa, jab huaa, tab huaa
chhoro, bas soongho
Wife: If I die what will u do?

Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!

Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
...
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai
aik din Uqaab ki maan ko sakht qabz tha porey 9 mahiney sey akhir kar hakem ki dawa li aur hagney gaye tu wahan uqaab paida ho gaya peechey sey(gaya bhi wahan sey hi ander tha) aur phir 3 din tak toilet mien phansa raha up side down ,becharey ko itni boo charhi itna gand laga keh woh din aur ajj ka din is key ilawa koi baat nahien kar sakta; aik omer tak khata bhi wohi tha peeta bhi. suna hey is key gher mien sab aisey hi paida hoye hien,is lye inhoun ney dunya mien gand ka bool bala karney ki kasam khaye hey apni maan key naam par werna in ki maan in ko apna haga nahien bakhshey gi.hahahaha
wah wah mahwish junk urf dot Naintara bilkul apni shakal jaisi baat ki hay
aik din mahwish ki maan ko sakht qabz tha porey 9 mahiney sey akhir kar hakem ki dawa li aur hagney gaye tu wahan mahwish paida ho gayi peechey sey(gayi bhi wahan sey hi ander thi) aur phir 3 din tak toilet mien phansi rahi up side down ,becharei ko itni boo charhi itna gand laga keh woh din aur ajj ka din is key ilawa koi baat nahien kar sakti; aik omer tak khati bhi wohi thi peeti bhi. suna hey is key gher mien sab aisey hi paida hoye hien,is lye inhoun ney dunya mien gand ka bool bala karney ki kasam khaye hey apni maan key naam par werna in ki maan in ko apna haga nahien bakhshey gi.hahahaha
hahaha lagi such baat uqaab bhangi ko
acha aik aur sun,Uqaab bhangi ki maan key gher aik choti si churki paida hoi peechey sey (wahien sey ander bhi gaye thi)gher bher mien rona peetna par gaya bhangi ki dadi ney kaha agli dafa moota sudha hagna werna dosri bhangan ley aoun gi agli dafa moota laindha hoa jis ka naam dadi ney Uqaab rakha hahaha bhangioun key gher uqaab har waqt beethien kerney wala
aik dafa ka zikar hey kisis ghaleez mulk key koney mien aik intihai ghaleez parinda rehta tha magar apney aap ko Uqaab samjhta tha aur kehta tha, aik din shahi bhangi ney badshah ko batya keh aik parinda hey jo bohat nayaab hey moun kholta hey to moun sey hagta hey sochta hey tu sarey pakhaney jesa, urta hey to fart ki terha smell ati hey paida bhi peechey key rastey sey hoa hey,badsah bola akh thu aisa ganda parinda us ka kya faida bhangi ney atya keh badsha salamat woh aur us key khandaan ki khasiat hey keh kisi ko qabz ho jaye tu apni chonch ander daal kar pakhana nikal leta hey sara khndan yeh kaam kerta hey.agar kisi ko ulti kerwani ho tu ghaleez shairi sunata hey us ki mann behan bhi bari shaira thien isi field mien ab badsha usey dhondh raha hey agar kisi ko pata ho tu bata dey badsha ko qabz hey.hahaha
hahaha...great...keep going.
bechari darpok CHOR mahwish bhangan urf chamaran mein itni bhi himmat nahi k koi naye id creat karey....doosron ki ids ki copy kerti hai....kiyon k bechari ke ser mein sirf GOABAR bhara hai.
mahwish bhangan, mein ab teri madri zaban ki baton ka bura nahi manata.
tu thee kidher itnay dino se?
Uqab bhangi ki shadi lendhi bhangan sey honi thi uqaab ney suhag raat per sunaney key lye gana tyaar kya aur asani key lye bohat sari suppositories khereedien(batian)
ghazal yeh thi

Kitni Buri Hai Awaaz, Tumhare Paad Ki Awaaz
Sabhi Hue Halaak, Paad Aur Aane Do
Sirf Paad Maro
Paad Maara Hai Tumhi Ne, Na Inkaar Karo

Pehle Bhi Tumne Paada, Pehle Bhi Tumne Soongha
Itna Bura Paada, Paad Nikal Jane Do
Sirf Paad Maro
Paad Maara Hai Tumhi Ne Na Inkaar Karo
aur woh lendhi bhangan mahwish thi.... :)
bhool ja mehwish ko naqli sarey uqaab yeh teri maan hey Naintara.abhi tak terey maan key qabz par tehqeeq kar rahi thi keh kesy peechey sey deti hey...:)
Baar Baar Paadho, Hazaar Baar Paadho
Ke Baas Paadne Ki Cheez Hai, Hamaari Padhrubaa mahwish.
Padho Ho, Padho Ho, Padho Ho
ab to aadat si hai mujhko mahwish ke esay hagney se...hahaha
hagta reh uqaab teri history ab tu sab ko pata hey ab koi mind nahien karey ga hahaha
red light area mien shor barpa tha aik bari khas banghen key gher aik bohat sofaid rang a ka lendha haga gaya tha us ka shohar seekhpa tha keh yeh lendha mein ney nahien dala tha kis ka hey bhangan qasmien kha rahi thi app ka hey akhir kaar bohat lab test key baad pata chala keh barey bhangi ka hi tyha tu us ka naam Uqaaab rakha.
hahaha
chorastann ka bara bhangi ajj apney betey kaley laindhey urf uqaab ki tajpshi kar raha tha, khaney mien sara gher betha tha, terha terha keh hagey hoye pakhaney dunya bher se mangwa kar rakhey they aur sara khandann mazey ley ley kar kha raha tha takey ghleez sey ghaleez dimagh ho sakey aur phir sare jahan mien moun sey hagtey phirien, itney mien uqaab ki bari behen urf sari churki key pait mien maroor utha aur us ney aik jaley hoye sudey ko janam dya peechey sey, yeh dekh kar sara khandan khushi sey hagney laga aur
ganey laga


Ye to qabz ki inteha ho gayee
Chirki bhi jam ke sudda ho gayee

Sookh Sookh ke goo ho gaya hai thhus
Ek lendi bhi na huee tas-se-mus

Yeh jo urh rahee hai phuskion ki dhaans
Ho rahee hai diqqat lene main saans

Zor laga laga ke kulhe ho gaye jaam
Na aaya magar lenda-ae-naazuk andaam

Tasavvur mein teri tasveer banaye baitha hoon
Aaja ae ghoo main bal khaaye baitha hoon
ab aa aur hag kahien moun chuppa kar bathroom mien tu nahien chala gaya moun sey hagney?
oh my god, these people are really muslims?? no muslim can believe,vidpk should take action about these cheap ppl.Allah in sab ko hidayat de Ameen.
shabnam88, why werent you speak against uqab who had been saying al this bad things in here for so many days spoiling the atmosphere ,he needs a dose so he shuts up and stop being so dirty if he stops i promise iam not going to say anything.
@uqab

Suna Hey Log Usey naak band kar Key Dekhtey Hain
To Us Key samney sey naak band kar key guzar kar Key Dekhtey Hain
Suna Hey Rabt Hey Us Ko Kharab paitoun Sey
So Apney Aap Ko badbodar kar key dekhta hey
Suna Hey badboKi Ghand Hey Chasham Naz Us Ki
So Hum Bhi Us Ki Gali Sey Guzer Key Dekhtey Hain
Suna Hey Us Ko Bhi Hey sari hoi Shair-O-Shairi Sey Shughaf
To Hum Bhi Mojzey uskey Huner Key Dekhtey Hain
Suna Hey Boley To Baton Sey gand Jhertey Hain
Yeh Baat Hey To Chalo Baat sun Ker Key Dekhtey Hain
Sabziwala: Madam yeh 500 ka note blouse se nikla hai kya?
Madam: haan par apko kaise pata chala?
Sabziwala: Quaid-e-Azam ka munh abhi bhi khula hua hai!
A boy 2 a dark girl: Tum kitni kali ho!
The girl replies: Tere baap ka kya jata hai?
Boy: Agar mere baap ka jata to aap kali na hoti.
Sardarni: kal chor aaya aur mere saath SEX karke chala gaya.
Sardar: tumne use roka nahi?
Sardarni: bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga.
Sardar asks CALL GIRL: How much?
She says: 50 on bed, 20 on sofa, 10 on grass.
Sardar give her 50. she says wow on bed?
Sardar: no 5 times on grass
Girl: Maa, bajuwale ladke ko dekh ke meri BRA tight ho jati hai.
Maa: beti ek baar bina BRA ke kameez pehen ke ja, uski pant tight ho
jayegi.
2 girls returning from movie,
1st: Mera purse chori ho gaya.
2nd: Per Tu to bra mein rakhti thi.
1st: Mujhe kya pata saala chori kar raha hai
A man jumps into bed n starts making love.
Woman in bed cries: Jijaji main aapki biwi nahin aapki saali Radha hoon.
Man: Ab kaahe ki Radha jab ghus gaya Aadha
A hair cutting saloon shifted from ground floor to 1st floor.
A board was put by him 'Neeche ke bal katane ki dukan upar hai'
Muhammad(P.B.U.H) ne farmaya" who muslim kehne ka haqdar nahi jis ke hath aur zaban se sosra muslim mehfooz na ho".kiya itni gand bolne ke baad aap isi zaban se namaz parhne khare hojate ho aur kis moun se apne Allah ke hazoor khare ho jate ho, bhaiyo aur behno! hosh ke nakhun lo aur is gand mein tum apni maan jesi pakeeza hasti ko bhi galiaya khilwa rahe ho sharam se doob maro.shame to you.
shabnam88 i never write anything bad but uqab was just too disgusting and no one ever said anything so some one has to keep him in limits
Agar koi ap ko gali de tu jawab mein aap bhi us ko galo do tu ap mein aur us mein kia farq hai?
beher ho ke ap hi khmosh ho jaein.jis ko apni izzat ka paas hai who kamosh ho jaey ga aur jis ko hidayat nahi hai Allah us ko hizallat de ga.
Muslim inhi baton ki waja se sari dunya mein badnam ho chukey hain sari dunay thook rahi hai, hum ko na apni izzat ki parwa hai aur na hi apne gunahon ki Allah se mafi talab kerne ki na jane kin chakkaron mein paray hoiey hain aapas mein lar rahay hain aur Pakistan per aur Muslims per isli liye Allah ka Azaab nazil ho raha hai ye page sirf ek dosre ko khush kerne ke liye shroo kiya giaya tha aur ab e dosre per keechar uchali jarahi hai is page ko ab close karen mein after longtime vidpk per aai hoon aur yahan itna bura hal dekha,Allah hum sab ko siraat-e-mustaqeem per chalne ki tofeeq de.ager aap dosron ko muskuraht nahi de sakte tu ye page close ker dein. sorry.
@Uqaab. aap educated ho ker bhi jahilon se badter ho apna muhasba karo aur apni zaban ko pak saf karo agar muslim ho tu otherwise kuch kehna bekar hi hai shayad.
.Naintara aap ne jawab mein pather tu mar dieya lakin aap bhi zakhmi tu hoin na ab kamosh ho ker Uqaab ke leye dua karen.
@junglee aap bhi insaan ban jaein agar tezeeb nahi aati tu khamosh reh ker ache lateefay parhen.thanks.
Now m leaving n God bless u all.
"Qiyamat ke din Allah ke huzzo log laye jaenge jin ke sath Namaz Roza Haj Zakat hon ge lakin unhon ne duniya mein kisi ko gali di hogi kisi ko bura kaha hoga kisi ka dil dukhaya hoga tu un ke naik Aamal un ko de ker badla chukaya jaeh ga phir us bura kehne wale admi ko jalti hoi AAg mein phank diya jey ga us ki Ibaadat us ke kuch kam na aaen gi"(Al-Quran) Allah Reham farmaye hum sab per.
A man was reading the newspaper during breakfast and said to his wife, "Look at this. Another beautiful actress is going to marry a baseball player who's a total dope!

I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the preetiest wives."

His wife said, 'Thank you.
@shabnam88
DEKHNA TAQREER KI LAZAT KE JO US NE KAHA
MEIN NE YEH JAANA KE SHAYAD YEH BHI MERE DIL MEIN HAI.

aap ne woh sab keh diya jo hamare dilon main hai Jazak Allah khair.
@ everyone
Mein ne koi bhi comment kisi per hukum chalane ke liye post nahin kiya.
aap ko pora haq hai hukum chalane ka, or yeh haq yehan per har aik ko hai........

waisay jitnay pyar say aap nay baat ki hai , app agar jann bhi mang leetein to woh bhi nichawar kar detay.
@junglee! AAp ka Latifa No.226 per aapk ko sharam aani chahiye c/z aap ne Qauid-e-Azam ki insult ki hai jahan tak mera andaza hai ap ke lafon mein jo zaban use hoi hai us se aap Indian lagte ho jese baju and Radha jese words ap jo bhi hon u don't have any right to inslut our National Hero.sorry karen ap shoq se yahan aaen but apne words wapas lein hum apne Qaid ki inslut nahi bardash ker sakte be careful.
Khabardar bacchoon ab agar kisi ni koi ghalat baat,or behoda baad ki..........keoyn kay Madam shabnam88 wapis aa gai hain.........

Tum sub bohat kharab ho gai thay un ki ghair mojodgi may.
mahwish ka paad hai kitna kala
kum lagta gober sara
mahwish ko lenday ki chubhan hai
hamen ana parey ga
mahwish-phuski ko chernay dobara

paad pe mahwish ke hain, sau phuskian qurbaan
paad kabhi marta nahi mahwish ka, marte hain insaan
paad mahwish ka jeevan hai jo uss ne zor se maara

hamen ana parey ga
mahwish-phuski ko chernay dobara

hahaha.....
main ne sirf shabnam88 se pyar se baat ki hai.Aur ai mere watan ke jazbati naujwan apni jaan kissi behter maqsad per nichawar kerna.

JAWANON KO MERI AAHE SAHAR DE
PHIR INN SHAHEEN BACHON KO BAAL O PAR DE
KHUDAYA AARZOO MERI YEHI HAI
MERA NOOR EBASEERAT AAM KER DE
[ALLAMA IQBAL]
MEIN KISI SE DIRECT BAAT TAU KERNA NAHIN CHAHTI THI PER PHIR BHI DUA HAI UQAB BHAI KE ALLAH AAP KO HIDAYAT DE[AMIN]
sorry for misspelling ur name.I guess this is uqaab means Shaheen.Waise Iqbal ka uqaab means shaheen kia aisa tha?
mujhe bhi her kisi se direct baat kerney aur lecture deney ka bohot shauq hai.
shetaan kzohra aur Shabnam88 ko rasta dikhaye. woh dono issi tarha iss forum per roz aa ker ek ek joke perh ker apna waqt barbad karen aur ibadat bilkul na karen. aap dono ager jannat mein chalee gai to subha shaam roz lecture kaun dega hum jeson ko....antio.....wesey tum dono her joke baray dil laga ker shauq se parhti ho.........lolzzzzzzz
tum dono mujhe theek ker k jannat mein leja ker karo gey kiya?
hum ne aapka kia kerna hai agar achi baat aapko buri lagti hai tau kya kia ja sakta hai.aur apni yeh ghalt fehmi door ker lain ke aap ke jokes ko main parhna pasand karti hoon.baqi Allah kare ke aap ko aisi taufeeq mil jaye ke Allah apni rehmat se aap se raazi ho jaye aur aap jannat mein chale jaaein kyun ke Allah ki nazar e karam zarre kau aftab bana deti hai.baqi reh gaye hum tau apna tau yeh haal hai ke

JAY MAIN WAIKHAAN AMLAAN WALLEY TE KUJH NAEEN MERE PALLE
JAY MAIN WAIKHAN REHMAT WALLEY BALLEY BALLEY BALLEY
tau bhai apni nazar tau USKI rehmat per hai.
oh...app to bohot pohnchi hui khatoon hain, baghair parhay hi app ko sab kuchh pata chal giya k mein ne kiya likha hai aur duaen deni lagi.....

khatoon ki khidmat mein salam upun ka...hahaha
aji potty pataana hai faqat kaam apun ka :)
yes i got to know abt ur jokes cuz i read ur first couple of jokes but after that i didn't even bother to read them at all.And by the way what u think what is so fun abt them?
and finally i apologize for the prayers or any thing i said.I have realized my mistake very well.thanks.
hahaha, kzohra or shabnam tum dono apna waqt is uqab lendhye par na zaya karo yeh apni man ka hagga nahien aur apney baap ka pada hoa nahien isi ghum mien is ki soi sirf hagney padney pey ari hey,yeh koi redlite area ka sarandh hey jis ki maan ney sari omer nanga nacha hey aur hagga hey yeh moun sey padeta hi rahey ga chaye kitna samjha lo , sikhaya hi yehi gaya hey bhangouyon key khandan ka chashmu chirgh aur kya hagey ga.jo bechara aur kuch soch hi nahien sakta woh aur likhey ga kya ,
chal bey uqab lendhyey ab shuro ho ja moun sey hagna.
@ junglee for telling dirty joke on other people
junglee ki maan doctor key pass jati hey aur kehti hey
doctor merey necchey baal nahien ugtey kya karoun
doctor.tum ney khabhi sharaye amm per ghas ugtey dekha hey...hahaha
asim peshawar and mierva iam also watcxhing you two as well so sudher jao
MODERATORS.... !!! CAN YOU PLEASE PERMANENTLY BAN THESE LOW-CLASS ANIMALS JUNGLEE, NAINTARA & UQAAB, WHO R CRIMINALLY SPOILING THIS WEBSITE.
PLEASE BAN ALL THESE THREE SHAMELESS ANIMALS ALONGWITH THEIR ID ADDRESS PERMANENTLY
i appriciate naintara for standing gainst uqab he was saying lot of dirty talk here and noone passed this qaradad against him its actually him who should be banned.
jo kerna hey karo magar jo yahan behodgipehlaye ga aur moun sey hagey ga us ki maan behan mien aik karoun gi.
junglee uqaab aur asim peshawar teeno mar jatey hien aur janat key derwazey per pohanch jatey hien farishta kehta hey tum teeno ander nahien ja saktey jab tak tum apney app ko theek nahien kertey ,
junglee ney koi ghatya soch nahien rakhni,uqaab ney goo nahien chukhna aur aim peshawar ney koi pathan wala kaam nahien kerna, 3no ko aik din wapis zameen per bheja jata hey
junglee atey hi aik aurat dekhta hey aur gandi batt sochta hey aur dozakh mien pohanch jata hey
uqaab ko goo para nazar ata hey aur woh jhuk kar usey chakney lagta hey keh asim peshawar us ko peechey sey dekhta hey aur dono dozakh mien pohanch jatey hien.hahahahaha
@kzohra

Behtar maqsad say agar aap ki murad watan per jann denna hai ...........to I am sorry....mughy apni jaan zaya karnay ka koi shooq nahi .....keonkay Zardari kay baad uss kay beatay nay kha jana hai mulk ko or may muft may shaheedon may shamil nahi hona chahata.....

Rahi baat pyar say karnay ki to janab bhaiuoon say bhi pyar say baat kee jaa saktee hai........
.Naintara+wubbzy+sahar20=same FILTHY aunty mahwish :D mahwish waqai you are habitate of doing mess,i feel sorry abt
ur inlaws and husband, or husband ko to tum nay ullo ka patha bana ker rakha ho ga :D lakin dnt worry yahan bewaqoof nahin baithay you cant hide here :P
@asimpeshawar

jee bilkul theek farmaya aap ne.
Band kar apna yeh sara hoa raaag idz bana lien wala,yeh teri maan hey naintara ,mehwish ka shidai tu kya samjhta hey aik tu yahan sab ka baap hey jab chaye jo chaye kehta phirey ga ,logoun ko apni ghalazat dikhata phirey ga, kerta reh ab ===== ka wird
wesey uqab laindhye ney bohat arsey baad baghair hagey koi baat ki hey,uqab laindhye tu sudher ja aur baar baar har baar ghalazat pehlana chor dey tu tujhey kuch nahien kaha jaye ga.
everyone hang on there i will tame this junglee uqab lendha so he may not shit any more.
thanks
apni apni family k ghalazat idhar na dekhaoo tum dono please, get a life naintara and uqaab
@ muslimk correct urself that is .Naintara not Naintara
please stop posting bad stuff here.
khan laindhye ka jawab yahan hey wahan admin post nahien kerney dey raha
aur ja kar dekh teri maan behen ajj kitna kama kar layein heien phir hagna bhi tum sab ney mil kar. ab chalti houn jab tak tu moun bhar bhar kar hagey ja .. aur kalbala kisi insaan ko choudney key shouq ko .. sala bharwa hahahaha
@ .Naintara
I don't deal with dumb people like u.
no offence ladies pleaze

Three man difining the lady in their way.

German: women is like a car ,when its new u love it ,but when gets old ,we need to change it.

American: women is like a TV ,it speaks non stop and entertain whenever u want,only difference u can't shut women.

Pathan: women is like a Tape recorder, first play side A, and then we play side B.
(Now a days our Molvies)
A man came to mulvi and said Mulvi saheb I did a very big mistake and plz tell me Kafara.
Mulvi: what u did?
Man: I had sex with Murghee(chicken)
Mulvi :come tomorrow
Man: Next day come to the door and ring ,Mulvi saheb came out with scrathes on all face.
Man :mulvi saheb I asked u a Kafara for the sin I have done.
Molvi: first u tell me how u catch the murghee.
Molvi saheb bacchay say :beta yeh tofi kha loo
baccha:Nahi molvi saheb
Molvi:Lay loo na
baccha:Nahi mulvi saheb bohat dard hotta hai.

(he still remember the pain last time a molvi gives him toffee and then what he did with him)
Chota bacha nokrani se yeh tum pappa ka penis muh main lekar kya kar rahi the? Nokrani: Woh main....Main.. main.. main na Woh.. Tumhari Mamma k liye saaf kar rahi thee.!
@Naintara
ohhh Sorry sorry
Ap ka NAam Naintara hai
I thought Naintara hai
hmmm yani Naintara hai
Naintara nahi
ohh acha Naintara hai
Naintara nahi hai
kheekheeekheekheeekheeekheee
@muslimk.....pagal ei oye :P
mahwish aaj subha se chaba chaba ker pakhana kha rahi hai. iss ke baad woh,

paadegi ya hug jayegi
wo dhamaaka kar jayegi
dekho dekho gaur se dekho
aage aage hagti hai kyaa

lenda chaley motay koolhon ka
bura haal hoga uss ke dil o jigar ka
rahega na moot ka der aur hagey gi
paadegi ya hug jayegi
wo dhamaaka kar jayegi
hoooooooooooo
lalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalaa
hahaha
paalki me ye tatti mahwish hai
iske ang ang mein wo potty bhari hai
aray kaali lendi iski kaheen jakey phansi hai
paadegi ya hug jayegi
wo dhamaaka kar jayegi
hoooooooooooo0
lalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalaa
hahahah...hehehee...hohoho
even if you guys r not muslims, uqaab & junglee may Allah's mercy be on u both
@asian! m agree wht u Uqaab @ Junglee are not muslims ppl.
mahwish-canada + space-junkie + sadia_brm + seema87 + muskan-1990 + .Naintara (with a dot in beginning) + wubbzy + sahar20 = tuktuk (another fake id of mahwish or her Baji Jaan are the only TRUE Muslim in this Whole World.
@tuktuk, tumhein .Naintara/mahwish ke paak saaf comments to nazar hi nahi arahey, tum aqal k saath saath ankon ki bhi andhi ho.
uqaab beethye sab jantey hien koi terey moun nahien lagna chahta tera kya hey tu khud tu nanga hey hi dosroun ko bhi kerta hey aaj tu apni zaban theek kar aur dafa ho ja apni sari hoi shairi ja kar apni jesi qoum ko suna tujhey koi kuch nahien kehey ga naintara ka kuch lagta ab kerta reh plus minus = jitna akrey ga utna suney ga sab tujhey sudherney ka muqa dey rahey hien sorry kar shabash aur tameez sey reh apney sarey IDs sey bak bak band kar
Uqaab urf khan 007 ki mann aaj subha se chaba chaba ker pakhana kha rahi hai. iss ke baad woh,

paadegi ya hug jayegi
wo dhamaaka kar jayegi
dekho dekho gaur se dekho
aage aage hagti hai kyaa

lenda chaley motay koolhon ka
bura haal hoga uss ke dil o jigar ka
rahega na moot ka der aur hagey gi
paadegi ya hug jayegi
wo dhamaaka kar jayegi
hoooooooooooo
lalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalaa
hahaha
paalki me ye tattiUqaab ki mann (khanum) hai
iske ang ang mein wo potty bhari hai
aray kaali lendi iski kaheen jakey phansi hai
paadegi ya hug jayegi
wo dhamaaka kar jayegi
hoooooooooooo0
lalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalaa

teri mann tujhey yeh bhi batati hey no doubt tera yeh hi hall hona tha beethye
sorry to all the other vidpk members my comments are for laindhya uqaab if i offend anyone else by all this dirty words iam sorry .
@junglee tujhey apni maan key jokes sunaney fursat ho tu kisi aur sey deal karey laga reh frustated insaan akhir kahien tu hasrat nikaley ga )
bechari mahwish bint e randi, bint e randi, bint e randi, bint e randi......expired raand, sathiya chuki hai....chal aor ghoo kha aur hag.....hahahaha
mahwish is an an EXPIRED FILTHY sheMale KHUSRA!!!!!
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Ohh no, My husband just walked in the door."
khusrey ney berozgari sey tang aa kar raksha chalana shuro kardya, aik din pathan aya aur bola chalien, khusra bola aur rikshaw key sath koun tehrey ga.?
@uqab! Imandari ki baat ye hai ke .Naintara ne apni taraf se koi baat nahi kahi sirf aap logon ki ghaleez batein aap hi ko wais lotai hain jesa kaho ge wesa suno ge, khiar Allah Reham kare Uqaab, Junglee Khan007 aur Asimpeshawar per un ko sedha raasta dekhaey(agar muslim hain tu)
Ab tak jitna mein ne parha hai tu mera andaza hai ke Uqaab is wasting his telent in bad jokes lagta hai is ko sahi taraf lejane wala nahi mil saka wrna he is very telented (in my opinion) ye acha shair ban sakta tha he has a good knowledge of maths, but itna acha telent waste ho raha hia afsos.
thanks tuk tuk,atleast uqaab gand tu nahien pehla raha ab yahan, aram sey baat karien gey sab wesey khan 007 x2 uqab sab aik hi cheese hien as i said before different kamoun key lye different naam hien ab is last bakwas ka mien acha jawab dey sakti houn magar muaf kya agar uqaab ghaleez parindey sey insaan ban gaya hey.blink.
@ .Naintara....mahwish gand phelaney k liay tum jo baithi ho,tum aa gain ab sara ghaleez gand khud ba khud aa jae ga,blink.
a jaye ga kya aa gaya mujh sey pehla comment uska hi hey 2nd last.
wesey tumhara masla kya hey jo tum khan007 ki chaploosi kerti ho? jahan dekho khan ji app yeh app woh gooo gobar pasand hey ya xrated batien? agar apni izat pyari hey tu chup bethi raho werna tum bhi tayar raho agar apney id ki takleef hey tu bata do
blink
zaher hay tum or kia lao gi :) jis ka bhi last comment hay woh eid say pahley ka hay tum ko aj reply dainay ka khial kion aya?haan izat bhi usi ko piari hoti hay jis k pas IZZAT hoti hay werna tum jaison ka kia jata hay,lagta hay her waqt nashey main TUNN rahti ho isi liay tum nay mujhay khan007 ki chaplosi kertay daikha hay,right?or tum to sirf reply daiti ho na behoda baton ka?ab zara mera or apna comment ghor say perho k kis nay behoda zaban pahley istimaal ki........oh bhool gai BLINK ;p
yeh 2nd last comment woh hotahey jo last sey pehley hota hey,aur woh tumhara hey, eid sey pehley wala nahien
zayda baat kerney ki zarorat nahien chup chap chalti bano werna tumhari sari chaplossi ki history aur behoda batien jo kerti rahi ho yahan chaap doon gi phir bolna nasha koun kerta hey
abhi yeh parh ley dimagh jaag jaye ga aur sab yaad a jaye ga.agar mazeed apni zaban dekhni ho tu batana

"cmon yaar uqaab hameesha tumhari favour main bolti hon 1 comment tumharey against kernay per mujhay bhi mehwish_junk bana dia :)by the way wt is new version of mehwish kachra?
excuse me uqaab or khan007?khan ji yeh khan ji woh blah blah,mahwish junk tum ko khud nahi pata k tum kia kah rahi ho :) pahley apney dimagh ko clear karo phir dosron say baat kerna,or chapo to zara jo tum chapna chahti ho,madam kachra sab vidpk waley jantey hain k khoob achi tarhan beizat honey k baad kon chup chap chalta banta hay or kuch arsey baad new id say kon chup chap dobara latein or thudey khaney aa jata hay,oh God :D.....shabash ab or dikhao apna brought up cmon,tum to in baton ki adi ho
mahwish ki hadi ,tujhey koi aur kaam hey siwaye mehwish key peechey doorian dalney ka aur khan key taley chatney ka , apna broughtup yaad kar jaga jaga khan ki chamchi bani phirti hey mehwish hogi teri bemari ab mien houn naintara jo tujh jesey sary laindhoun aur unki seatoun ka dimagh sahi karey gi . brought up ki baat kerney wali tatu ja wapis ja aur apna record dekh ab dekhtey hien koun jata hey tu ya teri mann mehwish ya yeh naintara ab tu tum ko in batoun ka adi hona parey ga mmrs khan..)
shabash logo ko dikhao k tum kia ho,vidpkis gendi or ghatia baton ka aghaz 1 baar phir ho chuka hay,i am sorry mahwish jis zaban main reply tum mujh say chahti ho woh main nahi dey sakti kion k yeh mera brought up nahi,lakin dnt worry tumhain doss dainay waley jald hi aa jain gey :D,kawa ager moor k per laga lay to woh moor nahi banta :) jitni bhi ids copy ker lo raho gi to tum mahwish kachra hi.....oh kafi dair baad yaad aya blink ;P
mashallah bari achi terbyat hey app ki , barey paayyar sey logoun sey baatt karti hien app koi gandi baat karey ya na karey app jis ki fan hien un ka intizaar karien ,but .oho . may be he is gone for ever ab app apna ghusa jis par nikalien, people every one knows who is the supporter of khn007 and uqab urf X2 hahaha. agar app bhol gaye hien tu ja kar history parhien jahan naintara ney har aik ko mehwish keh kar batameezi ka muzahira kya tha khan ji ki support par ab hajj karney ja rahi hien.
mujhey pp sey kuch nahien chaye naintara ji bas apni chonch band rakhien zayda moun lagney ki zarorat nahien hey jab app sey baat na ho rahi ho specially agar app key ideal khan urf uqab urf x2 sey batt ho rahi ho.) blink
acha to hum say baat kernay ko bechain thi meri janu mmmmmuahhhh,1 baar bus awaz dia karo jaan hum khud hi aa jaya krein gey teri izzat afzai ko bal k chudai ko hahahaha,teri pichli choonch isi tarhan band hoti hay na chikni,bari germi hay teri gaand main haan.
left mamma right mammay say yar hamari bhi kia zindagi hai. right wala keion kia howa.
left mamma: yar laphra sara neichay gali may hota hai or ham doonoon muft main pakray jatay hain.
ch**t main bari g*rmi hay sa*li ki hahahaha,oho hum say baat kernay k liay bechain thi j**n e khan,darling koi ho na ho hum to ap k supporter or dewaney hain,jab bhi tera dil chahta hay moun say moun laganey bula leti hay apnay khan ko,khan k atey saath hi teri p*ud*i blink blink kernay lagti hay hahaha..............
laugh out loud... :-)
hahaha gaya sala bahrwa apni maan ka dalal khan urf x2 urf uqaab , abhi tak apni maan ki maar raha tha, tu kya kerye per chalta hey lehndye jo jab kisi ko zarorat ho tujhey bula leta hey aur tu apni maan ki terha khidmat par pohanch jata hey sath hi doserey box mien id badal kar apni baat ki dad deta hey, abhi tak tu teri moun ki hagey motey ka pata tha ab pata chala tu moun sey aur bhi kaam kerta hey beethye abhi tak kitni ojhrian chati ? teri naintara without a dot tarap rahi thi
terey bina ab aa aur usmien dots bana.) aur
ab canada sey united states ja aur X2 ban kar apney par laugh out loud kar ,saley maan key hagey beethye.kisis ra*nd key maroor ki paidawar.
nazreen uqab beethya kai oojherian kha kar tashreef ley aye hein apni izat kerwaney ab dekhye ga kesi sarndh machatey hien moun ka gutter khol khol kar.man ka haga.hahaha
neutered mahwish KHUSRA tch. tch tch
hahaha lagi beethye ko
chal mahwish neutered expired hogi teri maan tu abhi chal rahi hey na?
nastiest mahwish KHUSRA tch. tch tch
wesey laindhye is tch tch ki zarorat sab sey zayada tujhey thi jab sey tu khan key id sey saraey vidpk par nanga hota phir raha tha khabhi choud kar khabhi hag kar tab tujhey koi tch tch kar deta tu kuch pehen oorh leta, yaad rakh bey jab tu uchal uchal kar apna lora dikhata hey tu khud hi zaleel hota hey ,magar tujhey tu training hi yeh hogi ab jab tujhey garmi charhey tu batana mien ilaj batoun gi tujhey teri germi ka
wesey laindhye is tch tch ki zarorat sab sey zayada tujhey thi jab sey tu khan key id sey saraey vidpk par nanga hota phir raha tha khabhi choud kar khabhi hag kar tab tujhey koi tch tch kar deta tu kuch pehen oorh leta, yaad rakh bey jab tu uchal uchal kar apna lora dikhata hey tu khud hi zaleel hota hey ,magar tujhey tu training hi yeh hogi ab jab tujhey garmi charhey tu batana mien ilaj batoun gi tujhey teri germi ka
wesey laindhye is tch tch ki zarorat sab sey zayada tujhey thi jab sey tu khan key id sey saraey vidpk par nanga hota phir raha tha khabhi choud kar khabhi hag kar tab tujhey koi tch tch kar deta tu kuch pehen oorh leta, yaad rakh bey jab tu uchal uchal kar apna lora dikhata hey tu khud hi zaleel hota hey ,magar tujhey tu training hi yeh hogi ab jab tujhey garmi charhey tu batana mien ilaj batoun gi tujhey teri germi ka
wesey laindhye is tch tch ki zarorat sab sey zayada tujhey thi jab sey tu khan key id sey saraey vidpk par nanga hota phir raha tha khabhi choud kar khabhi hag kar tab tujhey koi tch tch kar deta tu kuch pehen oorh leta, yaad rakh bey jab tu uchal uchal kar apna lora dikhata hey tu khud hi zaleel hota hey ,magar tujhey tu training hi yeh hogi ab jab tujhey garmi charhey tu batana mien ilaj batoun gi tujhey teri germi ka
wesey laindhye is tch tch ki zarorat sab sey zayada tujhey thi jab sey tu khan key id sey saraey vidpk par nanga hota phir raha tha khabhi choud kar khabhi hag kar tab tujhey koi tch tch kar deta tu kuch pehen oorh leta, yaad rakh bey jab tu uchal uchal kar apna lora dikhata hey tu khud hi zaleel hota hey ,magar tujhey tu training hi yeh hogi ab jab tujhey garmi charhey tu batana mien ilaj batoun gi tujhey teri germi ka
laindhye is tch tch ki zarorat sab sey zayada tujhey thi jab sey tu khan key id sey saraey vidpk par nanga hota phir raha tha khabhi choud kar khabhi hag kar tab tujhey koi tch tch kar deta tu kuch pehen oorh leta,
yaad rakh bey jab tu uchal uchal kar apna lora dikhata hey tu khud hi zaleel hota hey ,magar tujhey tu training hi yeh hogi ab jab tujhey garmi charhey tu batana mien ilaj batoun gi tujhey teri germi ka
yaad rakh bey jab tu uchal uchal kar apna lo*ra dikhata hey tu khud hi zale*l hota hey ,magar tujhey tu training hi yeh hogi ab jab tujhey garmi charhey tu batana mien ilaj batoun gi tujhey teri germi ka
tch tch balkeh puch puch puch laindhye
hahahahaha
rotten-ass mahwish KHUSRA tch. tch tch
hahahaha guyz reply bhi is k aisay hain k khud hi kah rahi ho AO MEHVISH KI MARO,main apni germi teray moun per hi tou nikalta hon,waqai meri garmi ka ilaaj tou hi hay,lagta hay rooz 3-4 baar tera gang ra*pe hota hay,jis ka derd mitaney to yahan aa jati hay,pakki r*nd*i hay jo rooz apni marzi say c*h*u*d*t*i hay or samajhti hay n*a*n*g*e*y dosrey ho rahey hain,training to meri yahi hay jo tou nay bataya bus us k baad teray p*i*c*h*warey dalna hota hay or daltey saath hi tou kerti hay blink blink blink......hahahaha
laughing out loud... :-)
puch puch puch
maan gaya na maan ka dala keh yeh hi training hey , abey yeh x2 baneney ki kya zarorat par jati hey daad deney ko?
ab sun asan tareeka apney aap ko tahanda kerney ka apni maan behen ka moun khool aur ander daal ker betha reh bechari terim mann tu taras rahi hogi is omer mien khush ho jaye gi werna apney gher mien behnoun se kam chala.
pichwara istimal kerna tu tera khandani pesha hey laindhye tu paida bhi tu wahan sey hoa tha yaad hey na batya tha pehley bhi, abey ra* key jab tu aur terey gher waley aik dosery ko c**detey hien tu tum loog na*gey hi hotey ho ab tu samjh jao is raaz ko magar kya karien jab kapra dekha n hi na ho tu boley ga kya.
acha apni maan ka moun zaror istimal kar bari practice hey usey laindhye.)
disgusting mahwish KHUSRA tch. tch tch
mehvish tat*i apnay gher k raaz khoolney lagi hay :D apnay gher ka mahool sab ko na batao jani k teray gher aa ker main kia kerta hon,baqi fazool batoon ka time nai apun k paas apun to bus abhi teray d*u*d*o peena mangta (o o) yeh waley, mmm mmmm mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmm
blink blink blink.... hahaha
kouyn teri maan apney dudo baher pila pila kar farigh ho chuki hey? behnoun sey shuro kar laindhye puch puch
From X2 .tch tch
hahaha laindhya apni maan ka sun kar tarap gaya
ghour sey parh laindhye yeh terey
ghar ki bathey dossroun par na thoop apna app pehchan aur sab sey pehley apni maan behen ko baksh phir doseroun ka sochna merey gher ayga sala, tu mard hota tu agay key rastey paida hi ho jata jo doseroun ki soochta hey tu kya kisi ko marey ga apni pehley ugga tu ,beethye jo kertey hien teri terha baktey nahien hey jo hassratoun ka mara hota hey woh hi aisi taqreerien kerta hey.x2 .hahah kya zale*l ho raha 6 ids sey bool bool kar.
tujhey wesey zarorat thi ID,s ki koi aur tu teri boo sey terey pass nahien phatakta ho ga tareef kya karey ga tabhi khud hi laga yeh khud hi apna har KAAM kar kar key tatya gaya hey abhi dekh teri kesey aik hoti hey laindhye gghalazat key potley ban ab mann ka
khan x2 ya uqaab.Ch*tya
gher aa kar ,sala wishes ka mara,waqt kouyn nahien bey sooda kar raha hey mann behno ka?
spayed mahwish KHUSRA tch. tch tch
hahaha lagi uqaab beethye ko ab betha goo chat raha hoga haga moota wapis moun par aa gaya.shabash ab sudher ja ab teri koi G*nd koi phuski nahien chlay gi jitna boley ga utna Zal**l hoga beethye
bullshit mahwish KHUSRA tch. tch tch
mmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm......... ab dosra wala ;)
ab tesra wala beethya bhi ban ja..)
.Naintara = neutered EXPIRED Mahwish KHUSRA tch tch tch
HAHAHAHA .. LAINDHYA ..abey yeh neutered khusra kya hota hey? aur tujhey kesey pata hey kouan sa khusra kya hey ? kitney khusroun key sath kar chuka khan 007?hahaha khan jo tehra .. ab yeh aik hi raag alapna band kar koi naye baat kar takey tera moun tooora jaye .)
BUTT-HEAD head EXPIRED Mahwish KHUSRA tch. tch tch
g_a_n_d main gerrmi hay bohatttttttttt or ser main bhari hay tatti jo ubal ubal k baher aati rahti hay,shut up ab dono d*u*d*u 1 saath mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm............
lolzzzzzz... blink blink blink :-)
apni maan ko rest bhi dya kar bahrwey har waqt dude hi charhata rehta hey gahkoun ko bhi kuch deney dey raan*d ko.) yeh bataney ki zarorat nahien keh teri G**nd mien aur sar mien kya hey sab ko pata hey maan ran*nden sey pooch zaror ilaj kar dey gi koi itni chali hey akhir kuch tu terey lye bhi karey gi.. ab yeh x2 ka dhong khatam kar ch*tye.
chal ab agla hugna shuro kar aur mazeed za*l*el ho.hehe haha
yeh x2 ban kar blinketa hey rahey ga ab koi naye cheez batoun naqal karney ko nalaiq insaan .) beethye
lolzzzzzzzzz on khanji wald x2 walduqaab beethya
.x2 = another FAKE ID of DUMB-ASS mahwish KHUSRA tch tch tch
hahaha lagi beethye ko
kouyn bey sirf tu ids badal badal kar apni tatreefien kar sakta hey koi aur nahien abhi tak apni maan mahwish ko roo raha hey khan ch*tya.
kafi din sey uqab beethye key namm sey haga nahien app ney khan ji urf X2
hahaha
my l*o*r*a in ur mouth,ab is ko moun main lay ker hi bhonkti ja ;)
hahaha kouyn tujhey bhonka hi samjh ata hey insaan ki zaban mien abhi train nahien hoa tu?beethye?
apna lo*ra apni maan mien hi rakh CH*uT*ye werna Ra*nd ka BP high ho jaye ga adat sey majboor hey bechari aur apni hasrat apney dil mien rakh kahien aur dalney ki ,chal ab hagey ja moun khol key
beethya hahaha
acha yaad sey Id badal kar apni hi kahi bakwas ki tareef zaroor kerna bara enjoy kertey hien

sab teri phuskian jo ab tujhey lagi hoi hien .. s*l*a
aik baat yaad rakh khan beethye yeh jo tu apney body parts dosroun mien dalney ki hasratien lye tarpta rehta hey na tu khud hi nanga hota hey ,jahil ,apna app cover kerna seekh aur tuaba kar ghatya batoun sey tujhey muaf kya jaye ga.. hahah
chal ab sar kar kuch intihai ghaleez baat likh takey tera moun tora jaye.
laughing out loud... :-)
khas khan-007 ki khidmat mien unki hasratoun par likha hoa gana
ik aur nazam khan ji key lye

kindly opther member dont bother to listen yeh sirf khan ji urf beethya uqab urf x2 tato ki tarbyat ho rahi hey takey woh sudher jaien.)
DISGUSTING Mahwish Khusra has brought up her personal HOME ANTHEM which is showing her TASTE and her FAMILY BACKGROUND....tch. tch tch
.x2 = .Naintara = FAKE IDs of SAME DUMB-ASS mahwish KHUSRA tch tch tch
HAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....)
Wife: If I die what will u do?

Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!

Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
...
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai
@ muslimk correct urself that is .Naintara not Naintara
wah wah mahwish junk urf dot Naintara bilkul apni shakal jaisi baat ki hay
Once a Pathan was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting
opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy
was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Pathan deserved more service. So,
when the Pathan fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
When the station arrived, the Pathan was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home,
he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife "What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my
20 rupees and woken up someone else"
A man was reading the newspaper during breakfast and said to his wife, "Look at this. Another beautiful actress is going to marry a baseball player who's a total dope!

I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the preetiest wives."

His wife said, 'Thank you.
The doctor told Pathan that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days,
he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Pathan called the doctor to report
he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem ?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home
@muslimk.....pagal ei oye :P
@ asimpeshawer why would i do that?can you give me any reason?i think you are a full PAGAL if you are thinking that i am doing that,i am nt a CHARA(single care free man)like you to sit here all the time and taking PANGAS with other members,i dont ve much spare time to post my previous comments again and again,if u ve any doubt you can email to vidpk and ask them wt is going on and who is doing this,i dont know how can ppl judge anything by theirselves and give decision at once "u did, not first time, u did it at different pages as well".
you experience many new things in your life so you cant say"It never happened with me or with any one"take it as learning a new thing in ur life :)
Aik bar master ji class mein pent ki zip lagaye bina aagaye,
sab larke hasne lage
Master ji bole: agar ab zara si bhi awaz aayi
to bahir nikal ke khara kar doonga
Teacher: Aaj phir tum late aaye ho, tumhain period ki Importance ka zara bhi andaza hai?

Papu: I know aik dafa meri behen k periods miss ho gay thay! to meri ammi behosh ho gai then..
Mere abbu ko Heart attack ho gya tha!
Or humara Driver bhag gia tha.
Husband: Aaj kerne do.
Wife: No
Husband: Jewllery le k donga.
Wife: No
Husband: Naya ghar le k donga.
Wife: No
Beta uth k bola: Papa meri maar, aur mujhe cycle dila do
girl to Boy: tum larkey kisi larki main sab se pehley kia dekhtey ho ?

Boy: Yeh to depend karta hai keh Larki aa Rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai!!
1 Doctor Mareez k peechay bhaag raha tha..Logon ne poocha Kya hua?

Doctor: 4 baar aisa hua hai..SALA khatnay karwanay aata hai aur baal saaf karwa k bhaag jata hai.
Chachi: Hum chaat ki dukaan kholenge aur Rs.10 plate ke hisab se bechenge.

Bhatija: Main board banwa dunga "10 Rs. ME CHACHI KI CHAAT LO.
hahaha what a chu*tya junglee
.x2 + sahar20 + .Naintara = FAKE IDs of SAME SMELLY-ASS mahwish Khusra!!!
lien ji khan ji lorey wala ka sara fever uter chuka hey ab sirf mild phuskian reh gaye hien. .
ab sirf yeh hi wird hoga so njoy ppl
psychiatrically sick NEUTERED mahwish Khusra tch tch tch!!
sickest filthiest Bay-Ghairat mahwish Khusra = .Naintara + sahar20 + . x2
puch puch puch!
cmon Buththi Devi......puch puch puch
bechara lora hahaha
bechara L*o*r*a
hehehe
ab aik hi bakwwass har thread par hagey ga .. aisa sorakh band hoa hey keh ab kuch nikalta hi nahien L*r*e*y ka
hahahaha
chal bhonki ja
psychiatrically sickest Buththi Devi.....tch tch tch
cmon More Expose urself to evereyone here Buththi Devi.......puch puch puch
tch tch tch...
yeh buthni devi koun hey naintara?
nikami nikhatooo Buththi Devi = Mahwish = .Naintara + sahar20 + . x2 ...tch tch tch
DUMBO mahwish its not buthni. Its Buththi means MOST UGLIEST. You are Buththi Devi..tch tch tch
hahaha what a f*uck u were when conceived naintara urf khanji ch*tYa LW
neutered mahwish (.x2) SKUNK...puch puch puch
Sorry
@jungee... best jokes hahahahh
cmon yaar uqaab hameesha tumhari favour main bolti hon 1 comment tumharey against kernay per mujhay bhi mehwish_junk bana dia :)by the way wt is new version of mehwish kachra?
funny na?waisay mehwish tum bohat khabees AUNTY ho tum nay meri naqli id bhi bana li,check a dot(.)in begening of my id Naintara i.e (.Naintara)lanat hay mehwish tum per...............huhhh
@vidpk.com! thank u very much for deleting bad stuff. JazakAllah
Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi
Aik din Wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha:
Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.
Sardar g ap ko kabi kisi se pyar hua?
Han yar! Per wo manti hi nahi!
"Kia kehti hay?"
"Kehti hay
'I LOVE U 2'
pata nahi ye dosra kon hay.
cmon vidpk,wt is going on here?i didnt write my last 4 comments,who is doing this?why are you merging my old comments with my new ones?
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, It is love; After marriage: It is self-defense
Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang : Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?
An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in me Shadi ke liye kiya daikha ?
Girl : Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so i made it alright.
A Sardar was watching a movie " Jurassic Park " in the cinema.
The Dinosaurs runs towards the screen, Sardar ran quickly outside the cinema.
Friend: Why you are running. It's just a film.
Sardar: Mujhy pata hai ke ye film hai, tujhy pata hai ke ye film hai, magar usay kya pata woh to janwar hai.
A beautiful women was kissing a lion inside a cage in a circus Ring Master: Can any one do this.?
Sardar ji: Main aata hu Magar pehle sher ko bahar nekalo.
How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then..
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
@asimpeshawar Pathan ne bank se car li
Lekin loan wapis nahi kar saka,
Bank waley car ley gaye,
Pathan: Pehley pata hota to
Shadi bhi bank se loan le kar karta.
Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Häy...
Sardar Prays Daily For 2 Hours
"Hey Vahey Guru Meri Lottery Lagade.
After 11 Yrs Vaheguru Angrily Appears & Says -Oey Uloo De Pathay Ticket To Le Le
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?
Sardar to his Son: Oye tu sher da putter hy aur wo sher mei hun.
Son: papa school me miss b yhe kehti hein k tu insan nhe kisi Janwar da putter ein
ONCE THERE WAS A MIRROR WHICH USED TO KILL LIERS:
FRENCH: I Think, I don't Smoke(KILLED)
AMERICAN: I Think, I Love Iraq.(KILLED)
SARDAR: I Think (KILLED)....
@asimpeshawar Qarardad-e-Pakistan 1940 me manzur hui,
Lekin dono mulk 1947 ko AzAD hue??
Q?
Q k 7 saal dono sochte rahe k
PATHAN kon rakhega or SARDAR(sikh) kon?
The Annoying Orange,

please post new and loughable jokes please please
100 baar k parhey hoye aur suney hoye jokes pay ab 101 baar hansi nahi roona aata hai
pathan: apni class fellow say "I love u"
Girl: Main ja kar abhi sir ko bolteen hoon.
Pathan: pagal mughay kaho sir ko na kaho woh to pehlay hi say shaadi shudda hai.
Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?

Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega
Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aalo
lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaya:-(

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:-
to behan kuch or paka lo:-)
Sardar1 : Bara dukh howa si teri wife di
mout ki khabar sunker, wase hoya ki si?

Sardar2 : Goli lagi si matthe vich.

Sardar1 : Shukar rabb da ankh bach gai.
thankss junglee really sarey hi lateefey achey they parh k waqaii main hansii ayiii
Aik pehlwan ki aik taang neeli par gayee,hakeem k paas gya to hakeem sahib ne kaha k zeher phail na jaye isi liye taang kaatni paregi,taang kaat d gayee..
Kuch din baad doosri taang b neeli par gayee,hakeem sahib ne kaha oho zeher tezi se phail raha hai ye taang b katwa do!Pehlwan ne dossri taang b katwa d aur plastic ki taangen lagwa leen,kuch arsay baad wo b neeli par gayeen,phir se hakeem sahib k paas gaya
Hakeem sahib ne kaafi der muayina karne k baad kaha
Muabrak ho tumhari beemari samajh main aa gayee hai,tumhari dhoti rang chorti hai baqi sab theek hai :D
Baap bete se: Is dafa agar tum pass na hue to mujhe 'abbu 'keh k na bulana
Kuch din baad Baap ne bete se poocha
'Haan bhaii kya bana result ka?'
Beta bola
'Sorry Basheer saab.. ':))
Sardarni sardar se nayee nayee shaadi baad:
'Sunte ho g,hamari shaadi ko 24 ghante guzr kar chuke hain..'
Sardar:
'Haan aur esa lagta hai jese kal hi ki baat ho':P
hahahaha.....very funny hammadAfzal.Thanks :)
hahahahahahaah hammad dear funny jokes k liye thankss
:)^^ Thanks,here are some more

SArdar to his son: OYe kya bana tere result ka?
SOn:Papa wo professor saab ka beta fail hai..
SArdar:Achaa,tera kya bana?
SOn:Papa Doctor saab ka beta b fail hai!
SArdar:Tu bakiyon ko chor apna bata!
SOn:Papa wo Engineer saab ka beta b fail hai!
SArdar:O ullu deya patthaya tu apna bata na!
SOn:Na to tu konsa Allama Iqbal hai tera beta b fail hai :D
Saahil ki geeli rait par,

Main ne us se poocha,

Tum bolti kyun nahi??

Usne palken jhuka kar muskura diya,

Aur Rait par dheere se likh diya..



' Paa me goongi aan ' :D
Newspaper main aya 50 % sikh bewaqoof hote hain
Ispe sikkhon ne khoob hugama kiya

Phir aya
50% sikh bewaqoof nahi hote
Phir ja kar maamla thanda hua :)
AIk engineer ne aik sweeper ko apne ghar bulaya aur usse poocha,aik ghantay ka kitna charge karoge?
Sweeper ne kaha 200 rupay!
Engineer bola KYA!Itna to me engineer ho k nahi kamaata !!
Sweeper bola,sir gee,jab me engineer tha tab main b nahi kamata tha :D
Daaku:Pathan k ghar ghus gaya aur bola jaldi batao SONA kahan he?
Pathan: pagal ka bacha itna barha ghar he,kahin b so jao hamen uthane ki kia zarurat thi.
Aik larka bolne wala tota kharidne gaya..
Larka:Mein kaisa lagta hoon?
Tota:beghairat lagte ho
Larka:tota badtamez hai
dukandar nay pani la kar totay pe dal dia
Larka: agar mere 7 ghar me larki aye to tum kya socho gay.
Tota:biwi hogi
Larka:agar do ayen
Tota:biwi or sali
Larka:agar 3 ayen
Tota:biwi ,sali or behan
Larka:agar 4 hon
Tota:le aao pani bhai............Mein ney to pehle hi bola tha beghairt hai....
Ek raat 2 baje bohat tez baarish main 1 pathan ney ek ghar ka darwaza knock kia aur poocha"Dhakka laga doge kaya"? please.....
Aadmi neend mei tha isiliya mana kar kay andar aa gaya,par usse guilty feel huwa.socha baarish mei koi meri madad na karta toh!
woh utha aur bahar jakar bola "kaya tumhe abhi bhi dhakke ke zarurat hai"?
Aawaz ayi..........Haan
Aadmi :theek hai bhai tum ho kahan?
pathan bola :kocha yahan garden mein dekho ...Jhulay par.
Veena Malik ka Mufi say sawal:

jab muhabbat or jang mein sab kuch jaiz hai to phir mohabbat mein hone wala kaka najaiz Q??
pakistani boy: Meray 4 bhai & 6 behnayn hayn apke kitne hayn?

America boy: Meray bhai,behen nahi ,per pehli ami sa 4 abbu aur pehle abbu se 6 amiyan hayn.....
aik dehati aorat ke ghar mein chor ajata hai. chor ka bekhayali men paad nikal jata hai. paad ki badboo se wo aorat jaag jati hai aur kehti hai, meray put da pud, dud da pud. meri dhee da pud ghee da pud. meray saaen da pud, paharan di sud. aa keda pud aey, eda badboodaar....ye sun ker chor bhag jata hai
Zubaida Appa ka khuskee door karnay ka totka:

Agar sardi ki wajah say app kay hontt bar bar khusk ho jatay hoon...

To thori thori deer kay baad unn per zaban bhear lia kareen.

Lakin khayal rakheen key woh zaban kisi or ki ho.khushi bhi door or mazay ka maza bhi.
hahhhhhhhhhhhahaahahaahahahahahhahah
ek zoo ma ek tota 3 language bol sakta tha
1- English 2- Urdu 3- Punjabi
ek din ek admi nay test karnye k liye usko kaha k - who are you?
tota bola - i am a parrot
admi nay phir kaha - tum kon ho?
tota bola - mein tota hoon
admi nay phir pocha - tu kon ey?
tota bola chir ker bola - oye khotay... tenu ik warii samaj nai andee ma tota waan
Khan Sahab - Humko shadi per BMW mila hy
Freind - Lekin meny tu tumhary ghar koi car dekhi nahi dekhi
Khan - Oye BMW ka mutlab hai Bohat Mota Wife
aik budhiya bachpan mein mar gai....
america say aik sardar ne apni maa ki dead body india bheji
jis kay sath aik letter tha k maa kay dead body aap ko mil gai ho gi,
maa nay jo kapron kay ooper 2 shirts pehni hein wo bhaiyon kay liye,
left hand me jo ghari hay wo aapi kay liye,
jo 5 socks kay jory pehny hein wo sub kay liye,
maa kay serhany kay neechay jo choclate hain wo pappu kay liye,
maa kay balon mein jo ponyan hein wo pinki kay liye, or agar kisi or
cheez ki zarurat howi to jaldi bata dena baapu ki bhi halat kharab hai
larki - jab bhi mein tum ko fone kerti hun to tum shave ker rahay hotay ho.
tum din mein kitni dafa shave kertay ho?
larka - 30/40 dafa
larki - tum pagal ho??
larka - nahi mein naaee hoon
daadi - veeeeeeeennaaaaaaaaaa . . . .
veena malik - daadi ek minute.... ashmit ki chaddi dho rahi hoon
Zubaida Apa kay Dhuan-Daar Totkey!


agar chotay bachy kay pait mein keeray ho jaen to bachy kay pamper me biscuit rakh den, jesey hi keera biscuit khanay aae foran pakar len.
--------------
mehmano kay anay se pehlay agar kala namak or mooli k prathy kha ker beth jayen to mehman jaldi chale jatay hain or dubara nahi aatey.
--------------
ager tum aik romaal bun ker kisi kay ansoo nahi ponch sakte.
to koshish karo kay aik pamper/diaper ban jao aur kisi ki poti leek honey sey rok lo
--------------
agar BP low hojay aur namak dastyab na ho to
naak se choohe nikal kar zaban se chaat lene se BP normal hojata he
--------------
agar taiz or zor dar paad mar lia jaye to dil k valve khul jatey hen,
so plz taiz or zor daar paad maren or dil ki bemariyon se mehfooz rahen.
--------------
beta ager tumhen dust/julaab lagey hoon to aik baray size ka akhrot lo. akhrot ko achhi tarah dho ker chabaye baghair nigal lo. akhrot akhri darwazay per ja ker atak jaega aur dust/julaab foran bund hojaengey
--------------
agar aap ki naak nazlay se band hai
to apna paad muthi mein lay kay soongh lain naak khul jaye gi
beqabu kabuu say bahar ho kay jokes likhta hai hehehehehhhe
but zubaida appa jokes are 2 gud plz add more
Zubaida Apa kay Garma-Garam Totkey!

tooth paste karnay kay baad uska thook aik plate main jama kar kay dhoop main sukha lain to dentonic powder bun jata hay .
--------------
jawan beti ki agar tind kar di jaye to beti 2 saal tak ghar say bhaagnay kay qabil nahi rehti
--------------
beta agar tumhen sakht qabz hojaey to eik bohot hi qabz kusha totka hai.
7up/sprite ki botal mein kala namak dal ker usko 5 minutes tak zor say hila ker apnay akhri derwazay say laga do. jitna bhi purana qabz hoga foran toot jaye ga.
--------------
agar aap ka bacha her waqt naak mein ungli daale rakhta hai
to usey baghair elastic ki chaddi pehna dein. yun wo dono haathon say apni chaddi sambhalne ki waja say naak mein ungli dena bhool jaye ga
--------------
agar ap kisi mehfil mai paad dein to saath walay ko ghoor kar dekhne se koi aap par shak nahin karay ga, yeh bara azmooda totka hai.
----------------
muft bijli ka totka
3 mooli kay prathey
2 gobi kay prathey
1 plate mash ki dal
1 piyala ubley chaney
sub cheezen ek saath ek hi waqt mein kha ker khatam ker dein,
aur phir apni zaati Gas say generator chlayen!
--------------
ghar mein machar ziada hojaen to gaye(cow) ka khushk gober beech kamray mein rakh kay jalaen.
machar ye kehtay huey bhag jaengy kay, Zubaida apa ye tumhara he kamina pan hai.
--------------
agar apko sardi lug rahi ho
to mein kya karun mein apki nokarani hoon jo har bat kay totkay btaun.
Note - ooper walay totkay mein machar ki baat say Zubeda Aapa ghusay mein aa chuki theen.
hehehehheeehehe bechari zubaida appa sochtin honn gin kahan phass gai mai yah totkon kay chakkar mai
hahahhaha@beqabo buht din bad itni hansi aai hai add mor totkey, khush raho odaad logon ko hansa diya tum ne zabarzst.
odaas
@beqabu Zubaida Appa ajkal mula bakhs ke sath tumhari talash mein hain bach ker raho.heheheh
Lolzzzz@beqabu..Zubaida Appa K Totke..hahaha...waiting for more... :)
zubaida appa abhi tak so rahi ho kaya??????????
A boy went to night club ,his mom got angry and asked :Tum ne wahan koi asi chez to nahi dekhi jo tumhay nahi dekhni chahiye thi?
Boy:Yes mom,
I saw Dad.
Great news:
Aik pakistani nay aaj pani main 60 minute tak sans roknay ka world record bana liya hai.

**************Pakistan Zindabad**************

Namaz-e-janaza kal ho gi.
Zubaida appa kay Zalil karnay wala Totka:

Apni love story ka future janne k lye Type kraeen




or send kar deen apnay Abuu kay number per
sorry the text is missing:

Zubaida appa kay Zalil karnay wala Totka:

Apni love story ka future janne k lye Type kraeen

(apna naam)
(space)
(apnay lover ka naam)

or send kar deen apnay Abuu kay number per
Zubaida Apa kay Moosla-Dhaar Totkey! Part 3

beta agar gosht gal na raha ho
to sari botiyon ko salan mein say bahar nikal ker kisi bari plate mein rakh ker doee say peetein, pit pit ker sari botiyan gal jaengi aur khud ba khud race laga ker salan ki taraf bhagen gi, yeh kehtay hue..bachaao bachaao Zubaida Apa kay zalim totkon say bachaao.
--------------
daant mein shadeed dard horaha ho
to aap apni saas ki chutiya zor say khenchen, jawab mein saas aap ko zor daar thappar raseed karein gi, bus phir aap sara daant ka dard bhool jaengi
--------------
agar aap ke ander se nihayat gandi badboo aati ho
to sheher kaa sub say masroof gutter dhoonden aur uss mein rozana 2 ghantay ka mud-bath lein. tamam purani badbuon ka guaranteed khatma!
--------------
jis shakhs ka gala kharab ho ya seenay men balgham ho aur nikal naa raha ho
to din mein 3 dafa 100 bar ye bolen KHEBAR PAKHTOON KHUAH
1 din me hi aram ajae ga
--------------
ager aap ka ji matla raha ho
to chotay bachay ki poti ka intezar karen. jesay he bacha poti keray, foran iss ka poti wala pamper/diaper khol ker naak kay qareeb karen aur 5 miuntes tak gehray saans len. ji matlana bund hojega. ye bara hi mohlik totka hai
--------------
chahre ki rangat mein nikhar aur keel mahason say nijaat k liye tamam mehngay tariqay chhor ker aik nehayat he sasta aur moassar tariqa apnaen. gaye (cow) ka umda, taza aur khusboodar gobar lay ker chahre pay malyay, phir daikhna apka yeh nikhar dunya daikhay gi
--------------
beta agar raat ko bar bar zehrily paad aa rahay hon
to aap 1 elaichi apnay akhri darwazay (soorakh) mein rakh lein to hawa khushbodar aaegi.
--------------
agar sardio me nahate waqt pani bohat ziyada thanda lage
to kameeno pani garam ker kay nahalo ab is mein bhi Zubaida Aapa kay totke he chahiyen sabko?
Zubaida Apa kay Moosla-Dhaar Totkey! Part 3

beta agar gosht gal na raha ho
to sari botiyon ko salan mein say bahar nikal ker kisi bari plate mein rakh ker doee say peetein, pit pit ker sari botiyan gal jaengi aur khud ba khud race laga ker salan ki taraf bhagen gi, yeh kehtay hue..bachaao bachaao Zubaida Apa kay zalim totkon say bachaao.
--------------
daant mein shadeed dard horaha ho
to aap apni saas ki chutiya zor say khenchen, jawab mein saas aap ko zor daar thappar raseed karein gi, bus phir aap sara daant ka dard bhool jaengi
--------------
agar aap ke ander se nihayat gandi badboo aati ho
to sheher kaa sub say masroof gutter dhoonden aur uss mein rozana 2 ghantay ka mud-bath lein. tamam purani badbuon ka guaranteed khatma!
--------------
jis shakhs ka gala kharab ho ya seenay men balgham ho aur nikal naa raha ho
to din mein 3 dafa 100 bar ye bolen KHEBAR PAKHTOON KHUAH
1 din me hi aram ajae ga
--------------
ager aap ka ji matla raha ho
to chotay bachay ki pottii ka intezar karen. jesay he bacha pottii keray, foran iss ka pamper/diaper khol ker naak kay qareeb karen aur 5 miuntes tak gehray saans len. ji matlana bund hojega. ye bara hi mohlik totka hai
--------------
chahre ki rangat mein nikhar aur keel mahason say nijaat k liye tamam mehngay tariqay chhor ker aik nehayat he sasta aur moassar tariqa apnaen. gaye (cow) ka umda, taza aur khusboodar gobbar lay ker chahre pay malyay, phir daikhna apka yeh nikhar dunya daikhay gi
--------------
beta agar raat ko bar bar zehrily paad aa rahay hon
to aap 1 elaichi apnay akhri darwazay (soorakh) mein rakh lein to hawa khushbodar aaegi.
--------------
agar sardio me nahate waqt pani bohat ziyada thanda lage
to kameenoo pani garam ker kay nahalo ab is mein bhi Zubaida Aapa kay totke he chahye sabko?
hahahahahhahahahhaha wow very nice,, sach main hans hans k peat main dard hoo gaya lakin dil nahi bhara lateefey parh parh k, Allah tum ko khush rakheyyy aur sada sehaat k sath lambii omar dey , hum sab ko khush karney k liyee joog joog jeeooooo
WAH WAH WAH WAH ZUBAIDA APPA TOH HIT HO GAEIN
aik pathan helmet khuja raha tha
barabar mein khare admi ne kaha
khan saha helmet utaar k khuja lo
patahn gusse se bola

khocha tumhara tang mein khujli hota hai to kia tum shalwaar utar deta hai?
Zubaida Appa ka Islami Totka:

For parents:
Agar apka jawan beta Namaz nahi parhta to mohalay ki kisi khubsurt Larki se kehen k wo usko Namaz parhnay ka kahay .
Inshallah faida hoga.
sharam kero aap ki maa ki umar ki hain zubaida appa boht hi bay sharam log hain aap jo aik respectable old lady ka nam le ker ganday jokes ker rahay ho jo khud aap kay ganday zahan ki paidawar hain..ourat ki izat kerna seekho..
@umeibrahim u r rite in logon ko waqai sharam nahi jokes bhi inhi kay type kay hain
a joke is simply a joke. if you people do not like it, just do not open it...very simple
Zeus aap jo bhi joke kerain apne nam se kerain aik ourat k nam se ghatia jokes na kerain...very simple
kiyun?
duniya men her jaga mashhoor logon per hi har tarah ke jokes bante hain, wo ourat hon ya mard.
kiya in ke bhai anwar maqsood ne noor jahan, salma agha, malka pukhraj per perodies nahi banae?
kiya noor jahan, salma agha, malka pukhraj mard they?
kiya aap ne kabhi anwar maqsood ka Loose Talk-Ary dekha hai?
anwar maqssod ne khud Loose Talk men aisai baten ki hain bohot bar.
Zeus don;t take it personally aik ghalat baat hai to hai main anwar maqsood ki fan nahin houn na un ka koi program dekha hai lakin main aap se kahoun gee k hum pakistani shaid dunia main sub se ziada ourat ki izat kertay hain or zubaida appa ne jub tv per hath jor ker kaha k plz un k nam se ganday jokes na kerain un ko boht takleef hoti hai to mujhay boht boora laga kia aap k pass kerne kay liay or koi kam nahin?? wo professionals hotay hain jo celebrities ki Parodies banatay hain un ka nam le ker ghatia jokes nahin kertay
zubeda apa ne kabhi bhi jokes ke bare men kuchh nahi khaha.
anwar maqsood, bajia, zubaida aapa waghera, parhe likhe aur khule zehen ke log hain woh in chizon ko mind nahi kerte.
latifon ka maqsad kisi ki tazleel kerna nahi hota, balke jo log muddaton se nahi muskurae unhe khush kerna hota hei.
aap ne meray kisi sawal ka jawab nahi diya bus ye keh k jaan churali k main anwar maqsood ki fan nahin houn. is lye aap se behes kerna fazool hai.
zubeda apa k jokes hazorn websites per hain. ab app un sub websites per ja ker ye lecture den.
sirf joke likh do kisi ka naam likhna zaroori hai kia?
jiss jiss koo jokes k sath problm hai woo Allah k wastey iss ghatiyaa web side ko choor dey, ku? hai na simple baaat???? Zeus-------umiebrahim----soni 123------- tum saab apney ghar beth kar indian programms dekhooo aur oss ki copy karoo, jokes ko khehna aur oss ko sunn kar hansnaa App jesey loogoon k bas ki bat nahi, chalooo foraan iss side sey 9-2-11 hoo jaoooooooooooooo
joo joo jokes khud bana kar likhta hai oss ko 1000 duayein khush rahooo saab hahahhahahahahah
kisi mashhoor aadmi per joke bane ga to uss ka naam bhi lya jaega.
hamari qom abhi bhi 100 peeche hai. apnay dimaghon ko hawa lagen kahin fungus, baki bache khuche dimagh ko bhi na kha jae
opssssss zeus ka naam ghalat type ho gaya ,, sorry sorry zeus
@muslimk tum bohat naik ho aur indian programs nai dekhti is liay tumhari duayein poori hun gi.log tum say request krain gay dua ki:) jao baita pehlay apna face dekh kr aao.Nai jatay hum idhar say, nikaal kr dekhoo.
auro ko neeshat,khud mian fasheet. JOKES parh kr hanso ya apna face dekh kr,we do not have any objection per thori si insaniat b seekh lo.
Fungus can not eat the brain,it just retards the things as it is obvious from your comments.
tum yahan kiya ker raho ho soni123. ja ker apni beloved veena malik ki tarefeen karo jis k tumhen paise milte hen.
yes, you better know what fungus really does as it is in your brain.
i am just copying & pasting this joke from above, just for you soni123...hahaha

daadi - veeeeeeeennaaaaaaaaaa . . . .
veena malik - daadi ek minute.... ashmit ki chaddi dho rahi hoon
another from above,just for you soni

Veena Malik ka Mufi say sawal:

jab muhabbat or jang mein sab kuch jaiz hai to phir mohabbat mein hone wala kaka najaiz Q??
salute to your gandi zehniat:) me haar gai tum jeet gai.
jokes b bilkul tumhari zeehniat k mutabiq hain.I appreciate your choice.chill
my zehniat is still much better than yours, here is a proof of your great zehniat, who admires veena & who is a paid worker of veena loser

http://vidpk.com/discussions/view_message.php?fid=6&msgid=703
sardarni: sardar je tussi meray naal payar ni karday.
sardar: 7 bacchoon ki tarf isharra kar kay ..tay yeh mainay kia internet tay download kittay hain.
3 pathan picnic per jatey hain, then they realize they forgot Pepsi bottle, and decide to send the youngest one to go back home and bring the pepsi.
He said : main uss waqat jaon ga agar tum donoon promise karo kay yeh samosay nahi khaoo gay.
They promised.
pora din guzar jata hai, shaam ho jati hai , aakir kar aik unn main say kehta hai yar yeh abhi tak wapis nahi aya keon na samosay kha hi lean.
jesay hi wo samosay khanay lagtay hain, wo youngest one who went to bring the pepsi came out from the tree just behind them and said ,mughy pata tha kay tum zaroor samosay kha loo gay issi liya main gaya nahi tha balkay darakht kay pecchay say tum doonon ko dekh raha tha......
lol
muslimk tum kon baap hotay ho sub k jo bakwas ker rahay ho gathia insaan tum se koi baat ki hai???
Indian: Hum nay apni beauty Queen Saniya Mirza tumhare Shoaib Malik ko di. Ab tum hamare Salman Khan ko kiya dogay?
Pakistani: Zubaida Aapa
bohot bori baat hy jaks share karna acha lagta hy but limits main reh kar baat karo. q k aj tm kisi ki izat karou gy kal log tmhari izat karen gy . thinh about it agr zubaida appa ki jaga ap ka apna naam hou tou ap ko kesa lage ga .?????????
Arz kia hia he

Main bahir nahi janonga Mujhe Dar lagta hai he papa

Gali main Baal khole khari hai Zubaida apaa.
haan g ab tou jaan boojh kar wo wo baten ki jaengi jin ko koi soch b nai sakta
Zubaida Apa Ka Totka
Agar sar par bal na nikal rahy hon to sir pe Engro Urea lagayen jab urea zamen se kaddu nikal skta hai to kaddu jesy sir se bal q nahi Zubaida apa k.
Zubaida Apa Ka Totka
Agar aap kay pass naraa ya elastic na ho or shalwar dheli ho to usy girnay say bachanay ka sub say asan tariqa yeh hai kay shalwar kay upper underwear pehan lein.
zubaida Aapa arz karti hain

Mere dil kay bavarchi-khanay mai teri yad ka cholha jalta hai....

Tere ishq kay pakoray pakty hain jis mai shaan masala dalta hai....
hhahahahahahahahah un saab k liye joo jokes pay hansney k bajaye dosroon ko bora bhala khetey hain,, thank u umeibrahim ittni izzat tu aaj taak bhai kisi ney ki nahi, thank u shukriya shukriyaa, khush kar dia zeus jeee wah kia tootkey hain aur Allah zubaida aapa ko sehat aur zindagi dey k un k naam ki badoolat hum saab ko hansney ka mooqa mila love u all hahahahahahahahha
wah wah kia baat hai shaan masaloon ki aur zubaida aapa kii wah wah wah wah
lugta hai k is fungus per autoclave b ussar nai kr sakta:)
Anwar, Zubaida Aapa ke liye farmate hain.

aapa kya khoob ada tum pati ho
ye totke kahan se dhoond lati ho

Aapa jawab deti hen.

chala jaye dunya se jo, aata nahi wo loutke
aik baar jo aazmale Zubaida aapa k totke
Top 10 Most Popular Ajeeb o Ghareeb Awards 2011 goes to:

10) Mehwish Hayat ki Khud-Pasandi

9) Faisal Qureshi & Babar Javed ki Kashish e Saqal.

8) Zubaida Apa kay Totkay

7) Sahir Lodhi ki Fakeness

6) Mani & Hira ki Bakbakbak

5) Chef Rahat ka Rahat Stone Oven

4) Abid Ali ke manhoos Bachay in Masi aur Malka

3) Meera ki Badhawasian

2) Veena Malik ki Babakiyan

.

.

1st award goes to:

.

.

Dil tham lo

.

.

Haan bhai haan sub se ziyada chichori.....Botox Queen...

.

.

1) Shaisata wahidi ki Cheapness.
kaya baat hai kaya baat hai hahahahahhahaa
A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. Fearing he'll get an "F", he asks a fellow student what she's been doing. "We've been observing water under the microscope. We're suppose to write up what we see." The page of her notebook is filled with little figures resembling circles and ellipses with hair on them. The panic-stricken student hears the bell go off, opens his notebook and writes, "During this laboratory, I examined water under the microscope and I saw twice as many H's as O's."
Zubaida Apa kay Andha-Dhund Totkey! Part 4

agar aapkay khanay mein makhi gir jaye
to usay nikal kar itna chabayen kay kisi aur makhi ki jurrat hi naa ho aap kay khanay ki taraf aanay ki.
--------------
balghum ko dhoop mein sukha kar choti choti goliyan bana ker chabaya jaye
to ding dong bubble gum ki kami puri ho jati hai
--------------
doodh phat jaye
to safaid dhagay say cee lo, kisi ko patta nahin chalay ga
--------------
beta agar aap kay paad aap ki marzi kay baghair bari garaj-daar awaz say nikaltay hain aur aap ko logon kay samnay sharmindagi hoti hai
to aik chutki taza makhan (butter) apnay akhri darwazay mein lagaen. tamam chhotay baray paad bari khamoshi say phisal phisal ker neklen gay aur kisi ko pata bhi nahin chalay ga.
--------------
kaafi arsay istemal kay bad jab baghair dhulay mozon (socks) mein say nihayat he ganddi badboo anay lagay
to unko kisi oonchi dewaar per taang den. Is se ghar mein chipkali, machar, makhi, lalbaig waghera nahin atay aur mahman bhi gate say wapis chalay jatay hain.
--------------
agar aap ka PB high ho jaye
to bohot saari kachi karhi per chutki bher jamal gota daal ker khaen, do teen taber torr julaabon kay baad BP normal hojega
--------------
chipkali ko ubaal ker dhoop mein sukha ker, chips jesa crunchi honay kay baad
ketchup ooper daal ker khaya jaye
to ulti aa jati hai
--------------
agar chota bacha roz raat ko bar bar uth ker roye
to tum pehlay say tayyari kerlo. Aik chhoti shishi ko achi tarah dho ker khushk kerlo phir uss mein bachay ki thori si potty daal ker dhakkan bund kerkay rakhlo. Raat ko jab bacha roye to foran shishi ka dhakkan khol ker bachay ko sunghao, bacha foran chup ho ker so jaega aur dobara nahi ronay ki koshish nahi karay ga
--------------
agar bus main seat naa mil rahi ho to
kisi kay mu kay paas 2 teen phoosian maar dainay say wo seat chorr dy ga
hahahaahhahahahahah kia baat hai ap k dil pasand PAADOON ki
kya ganday ghaleez ghatya jokes hain..laanat hai
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."

The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"

The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday.
hey i didn't understand this joke can u explain it to me...someone...?? A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Ohh no, My husband just walked in the door."
i cant believe u cudnt understood the last joke..
or was that a joke in itself?2010?
fairy77, you are such a hypocrite creature. At one side you act like a nun or naik-parveen and on other hand you read such dirtiest jokes (written by 2010), enjoy them and pass comments on them...shame on you
Shaadi Ka Wada Kia Parveen Se
Warna Muhabbat To Thi Maheen Se
Anjane Mein Sab Kehdia Mehreen Se
Kia Haal Hoa Tha Pocho Samreen Se
Ab Ummeed Hai Sirf Noreen Se
Lekin Bat Banegi Narmeen Se
Ya Phir Dekho Ambreen Se
Nahi To Shayad Nosheen Se
Or Hosakta Hai K Naveen Se
Warna Setting To Hai Sabeen Se
Fill In D Blanks
1.BOO_S
2. _ _NDOM
3.F_ _ K
4.P_ N_S
5.PU_S_

Answers;

1.BOOKS
2.RANDOM
3.FORK
4.PANTS
5.PULSE

Lanat Hy Tmhari Gundi Soch Py ;0)
{Husband aur Wife}

Sardiyon Ki Aik Khubsurat Raat Thi.
Husband & Wife Aik Garam Kamble Mein Soe Hoe The.
Aadhi Raat Guzarne K Bad Wife Ne Achanak Kaha:
Sartaj Mjhe Shadid Piyas Lagi Hai.

Ye Sun Kar Shoar Ne Jaldi Se Pani Barh
Kar Biwi Ko Day Dia Or Biwi Ne Ose Pi Lia.

Moral:
Her Husband aur Wife Wala lateefa Ganda Nahe Hota ;->
Jin: Kia Hukum hai mere aaqa?
Sardar: Saari dunya main jitni bhi dolat hai, woh mere account main daal do.

Jin: Bakwaas na karo main Jin hon Zardari nahi.
Sir:
Tum Bade Ho Ya Tumhare Papa?

Student:
Main.

Sir:
Wo Kaise?

Student:
Maine Mummy Ka Doodh Peena Chhod Diya Hai
Lekin PAPA Abhi Bhi Peete Hain
Duniya Mein Sab Se Himmat Wala Kaun?
Ans:
Dhobi

Kabhi Bhi Kisi Ke Ghar Jaa Kar
Koi Bol Sakta Hai
Sahib Bibi Ji Ko Bolo
Kapde Nikal Kar Rakhe
Mein Abhi Aa Ke Leta Hu
1 HAKEEM Sex Ki Goli Bech Rha Tha

Jo 1 Lega Uska Lamba Hoga

Jo 2 Lega Us Ka Khamba Hoga

1 Admi Bola
Jo 3 Lega?

HAKEEM Bola
Bhai
Chodna Ha Ya KHODNA Hai?
1 HAKEEM Sexxx Ki Goli Bech Rha Tha

Jo 1 Lega Uska Lamba Hoga

Jo 2 Lega Us Ka Khamba Hoga

1 Admi Bola
Jo 3 Lega?

HAKEEM Bola
Bhai
Chodnaaa Ha Ya KHODNA Hai?
1 HAKEEM S3x Ki Goli Bech Rha Tha

Jo 1 Lega Uska Lamba Hoga

Jo 2 Lega Us Ka Khamba Hoga

1 Admi Bola
Jo 3 Lega?

HAKEEM Bola
Bhai
Ch0dna Ha Ya KHODNA Hai?
Zubia (1 , iam nun or whatever butiam happy that iam a pain in ur big fat___ss.. yeah i pass the remarks whats ur prob? however iam happy iam not raised by a mother like yours to be a dirty pot..)
fairy77... tumhari nasal kay loag jo direct kisi kay maa baap par jaate hain, woh sirf apni hee zaat aukaat aur broughtup dikhataey hain... I feel pity for you
Please do not involve parents in your personal fight. It is really bad.
feel pitty for urself zubia91 as the rest of the members feel for u..)
apni asliat jaan kar bura laga?
hahaha fairy77, u r nothing but a big JOKE. :o)

BEST JOKE in this forum is FAIRY77 ...lollzzz
soni123, thanks for the support...but no use, immature people like fairy77 knows nothing but to jump on others' parents... but baycharee kya kare,she is not smart enough to argue in a civilized manner, aise loag direct kisi kay bhi maa baap par uttar aate hain..anyways, she has no brains and ofcourse no tarbiyat, so just try to ignore her
hahaha very funny if u tried to joke here and atleast not dirty.. congrats this was first nondirty talk from u zubia..
Thank u fairy77 for complimenting me
CHI CHANG CHEN LAINGUANG
THEIN CHI KWA SIAU CIE
WOHEN HAU NI THAZ THAZ HAO
SEING SHENG
pagal agar samajh mein nai aa raha to parh kyun rahe ho,,,,,
Let's play a game...
Its very interesting
Ready?
3
2
1
.
.
.
Start
.
.
Kia start?
Nalayak
Koi kaam b kar liya karo.
Har waqt khelne ki pari rehti ha!
Ants were bathing & an elephant jumpd into pool!
Ants got out of watr.1 ant climbd on the back of elephant. All othr ants cried out, duba duba k maar salay ko
hahahahahaha very good as always my dear beqabu sooooooooo much love ur Jokes keep it my jaani
Har pal Har waqt
. ' 12 ' .
. 9 < 3 .
' . 6 . '
Har saans aur dil ki har dharkan kehti hai ... ?

.*""*.*""*.
* KHUSH *
"*. raho.*"
"*.*" sada
hahahaha
people like zubia usually dont know who their father is still fighting for them.hahaha irony
laghta hay k beqabu ye totkey pehlay khud per azmata hey phir likhta hey.
2 gud beqabu
Duayoon ka Shukriyaaaa My dear Beqabu darling , Khush rahooo aur HUM saab ko bhi issi Tarha khush rakhooooo Ammeen(love u All)
haan khush rakho apni tarhan k durty mind logon ko . sharam tou ati nahi chipkali ko khane wali chez bna dia . akkkhthooooooo
Thapper Marne Pe Naraz Biwi Ko Shohar Bola
Admi Usey Marta Hai Jise Pyar Karta Ha
Biwi Ne Us Ko 2 Mare Or Boli
Ap Kya Samjhte Hain Main Ap Se Pyar Nahi Karti
beta (baap se )abu app lambe hote jarahe hain .
baap : tmhe kese pta chala ?
beta: app ka sar balon se nikalta jara hy
Aik molvi pathan ka nikkah parha raha tha.
pathan: molvi sahab tum ko to nikkah bhi sahi parhana nahi aatta.
Tum aisa karo larki kay sath betho main tumheen batata hoon kay nikkah kaisay parhatay hain.........
hahahahahah raha na akher Pathaan Ka pathaaan
Meera ki Aqalmandian! Part 1

Meera apni best friend Laila se kehti hai:
Meera: yaar achha hua mein Pakistan me paida hui, America me nahi
Laila: kiyun America mein paida hoteen to kya hota ?
Meera: tu bhi naa ..... mujhe english kahan aati hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?
Meera: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail-gaadi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher: 5 mark lekar bhi tum has kiyun rahi ho?
Meera: main yeh soch rahi hoon kay woh 5 marks kaisay milay
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera: main shaadi karke khush rahna chaahti hoon.
Laila: arey yaar, mazaaq mat karo. hasney ka mood nahi hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At a private party meera was invited! Suddenly Meera said something that there was pin drop silence.................................Meera: wait er mery coke may SNOW dal dain plz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once A Journalist Asks Meera
What Types Of Roles Do U Prefer???

Meera Answers :

Wese Tou Mujhay Chiken Roll Pasand hy Magar Beef Roll Bhi Kha leti hoon..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mera ki Deep Thinking:
Meera arz kerti hain, Pyar woh nahin ke hum kisi aik ko kitne saal tak karte hain.
Pyar to woh hai kay hum aik saal mein kitno se karte hain........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera ki Dard Bhari Shayiri:

Meera arz kerti hen -----------

gaur say sunen ---------


dil mai chubhi sui-------


dil mai chubhi sui-------aaaah




uei uei uei-----------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zubaida Apa Kay Son Ka Wadding Card

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Mrs.Kali Mirch & Mr. Kala Zeera request the pleasure of ur company to attend the marriage of their son
Dhania
with
Haldi
(D/o Mrs. Ilaichi & Mr. Sonf of Tez Paat
on 29th February at Adrak Hall, Lehson Chowk, Masala Pur)

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
khush kitta jaaniiii
shutup fairy77! okay if i dont understand the joke i could ask this is a free web site i am not paying u or anyone else so i have some right!!! i am not aking u i am asking other peple so shutup!:P
u certainly can but mind ur language and learn some manners.
@2010
yes dear don't listen to them........
I tell u the truth i also did't understand that one but when i think then it gets clear....
Actually the woman was dating with some other guy and then her husband walk in the door so the other guy just slip under the table that is why the lady said her husband just enter the hotel...

u know i don't like these kind of jokes that u have to think and then u can laugh .......
like soni123 joke .......i did't get it that one too.
Girl: mera dil ek mobile hai or tum us k sim ho
Boy: mujy boht hushi huy
Girl:zyaida hush na ho
Boy: Q
Girl: koi acha package mila to sim change ker loongi.
woo loog bohat hi jahil hootey hain jin ko phehley joke sunaoo pher oss ko samjhaooo aur pher un sey kahoooo,,, Beta Ab Hansooooo iss jaga,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,afsooos hota hai UN loogoon pay ,,, abey ooooooo jahilooon jaab jokes samjh nahi aatey tu iss web side ko use hi ku kartey hooo,,, dosroon ka bhi maza kharab kartey hoooo
lol
beqabuuuuuuu phir say 2 gud
beqabuuuuuuuuuuuu always Too good Love U Much Beqabuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Jeeta reh Yaraaaa
thank u so much rider!:)
Once in a zoo monkey told a joke every animal enjoyed and laughed but the donkeyu ddnt, next day the donkey started laughing,some one asked why is it laughing?
somebody helped him understanding the joke today and now he can laugh.hehehehe
aik bandar tha jo glasses lgata tha or lip stick b . moty moty lips thy os k . ose joks sonane ka bohot shoq tha . ose aik bandrya se pyar ho gaya os ne apni monky friend ko b joks sonae or zobeda appa k tootky b btae .bandrya ko gussa agaya or wo ose chor k chali gai ye keh kar "idiot zubaida appa ki jaan chor do warna mje chor do . bandar ne kaha k main tmhe tou chor sakta hoon zubeda appa ko nai ye keh kar wo hamesha k leay alg ho gaey .
moral of story
agr kisi ko bora kaho gy tou tmhara pyar tmhe chor dy ga.
zarwali786
yeh payar kis bala ka naam hota hai....agar aap ki murad koi aurat hai to iss say achee or kia baat hogi ko wo chorr kar chale jaey.
aik shalwarwaali thi uss ka kaam bus chirna aur sirf chirna tha aur wo jal jal ker kaali ho chuki thi uss liye kapray bhi kam pehenti thi. aajkal uss ke paas shalwar bhi nahin hai
moral of story baad mein batay jaega jab story copmlete hogi
shalwarwaali nay bandar ko bura kaha to uss ka shalwarwaala ussay chhor ker bhaag giya ab wo bandar say peenegen barhanay ki koshish ker rahi hai khua ma khah...
thee to wo bari idiot magar iss baat ka ussay pata nahin tha
phir wo apni zubaida apa ke paas bhaag ker gai kay koi totka batao bandar say dosti kerni hai
zubaida apa nay shalwarwaali ko aik bara khaas totka bataya.....hahaha
buzorgon ne thek hi kaha hy k bandaroon or kotton k moo kabhi nai lagna chaey q k ye donon kaatne main aik second b nai lagaty
hehehe
zubaiba appa ka kaaraamad tootka
bandar jese hi hamla kare os k samne kela daal do wo app pe atteck karna bhol jaega
shalwarwaali ke buzorgon ne kabhi bandaroon or kotton k moo bhi laga tha......heheh..iss liye ab dobara agi hai apnay buzorgon ki naseehat bhool ker...hahaha
zubaida apa ne shalwarwaali kaha beta tumharay dimagh per gas charh gai hai iss liye bad-hawaS ho gai ho. aik zor dar paad maro to dimagh bhi khul jaega aur chir chira pan bhi door hojegi
haan lgaya tha na jabhi tou onhe nasehat hoi or onho ne kaha
hahahaha 2 good beqabu,waqai beqabu kuch logon ko baar baar thuday or mukay khaney ki adat hoti hay or is k baad bhi woh dosti kernay or baat kernay k private msgs bhaijtey hain blink :D
ye shalwaar wali ka zarband toor too hath sey haar waqt shalwar pakrey rahey gi tu vidpk pay aana bhool jaye giiiii
khush kitta nini yaar lolzzzzz
Meera ki Aqalmandian! Part 2

Meera apnay ghar mein medicines kay qareeb say bari khamoshi say guzarti hai kay kahin sleeping tablets jaag na jaen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera nay ek din apna kaan jala liya kiyun ke jab uss kay phone ki ghanti baji to wo istary ker rahi thi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera ko agar tuesday ko hansana ho to ussay latifa monday ko sunaen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ager Meera ki akhon mein ghaur say dekha jaye to aap uss kay sir kay peechhay sub kuchh dekh saktay hain kiyun kay dimagh hai hi nahin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera aik din america mein shoping ke liye pedal chal pari
road crossing per likha tha DON'T WALK. to Meera nay daur ker road cross kerli
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera pizza khanay gai
pizza shop ke assistant ne poochha: Madam pizza ke 6 pieces karon ya 9
Meera: Ax-cuse me, 6 piece kardo plzzz, mein 9 peices nahi kha sakoon gi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laila ne Meera say poochha: Tum nay Shakespeare parah
Meera: Nahin,ye kis ne lilka?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera ko uss aik director nay apna phone number 2 3 8 5 11 diya ke kal mujhay call kerna
Meera jub call kernay bethi to gayarah (11 )per aa ker atak gai. ussay phone per 0 say 9 tak numbers to nazar aye magar 11 nahin mila . guusay mein uss ne phone hi tordia ye soch ker k ab aisa phone loongi jis mein 0 say 100 tak number hongay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
aik din Meera doodh peetay huye zakhmi ho gai kiyun kay bhains uss kay ooper gir pari
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera football match dekhtay hue Laila se poochti hai,
Meera: yeh log ball se kya kar rahe hain?
Laila: goal karnay ki koshish ker rahe hain
Meera: lekin ball toh pehle se gol hai, aur kitni gol karenge!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laila: jaldi se ja kar koi khali raksha le aao Meera.
Meera: wapis aa kar, koi khali raksha milta hi nahi, har aik main aik admi zaror betha hota hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kisi nay kaha: Meera u r lookin so HOT.
Meera: no no meray room mein 2 air conditioners hain, iss liye mein HOT nahi hoon. mein garmi mein kaam bhi nahi kerti hoon
aik machhar ki makhi say ho gai shadi..
pahli hi raat start ho gai barbadi...
machhar becharay ki qismat hi khoti thi..
makhi MOSPEL laga kay soti thi..
Mosquito Song:
Bheege hont tere,
Pyasa dunk mera,
Lage amrit sa, mujhe khoon tera,
Kabhi mere saath,
Koi raat guzaar,
Tujhe subah tak me suja doonga yaar....
Meera waaley jokes ahchay hain..Lekin iss baycharee ko itna matt sataao..Madiha Shah, Reema and Nargis are equally jaahil just like Meera
ok :)
indians ko dhoti bohot pasand hai iss liye india mein aik multiplex cinema ka naam hai DHOTI MEIN
ab zara ghaur karen jab DHOTI MEIN films lagti hai to kiya likha jata hai

Karan Arjun DHOTI MEIN
Yamla Pagla Deewana DHOTI MEIN
Tees Maar Khan DHOTI MEIN
Duplicate DHOTI MEIN
Toon Pur Ka Super Hero DHOTI MEIN
Dulha Mil Gaya DHOTI MEIN
Pyaar Impossible DHOTI MEIN
Chance Pe Dance DHOTI MEIN
Road to Sangam DHOTI MEIN
Raavan DHOTI MEIN
Dabangg DHOTI MEIN
Do Anjanay DHOTI MEIN
Golmaal DHOTI MEIN
VeerZara DHOTI MEIN
Chemistry

A New Added element to the Periodic Table.

Element Name: Veena Malik

Symbol: VM

Atomic Weight: dont even dare to ask :)

Physical Properties..
*boils at anything
*can freeze at anytime
*melts if handled wid love n care
*very bitter if mis handled

Chemical Properties.
*very reactive
*highly unstable
*posses strong affinity for gold n silver
*money reducing agent
*volatile when left alone
wow, Veena malik's joke is best :)
but I guess the highly unstable thing is not true for her, it can be true for Meera,
Veena may laakh buraaiyan sahi, but I observed that she is highly stable psychologically and mentally very strong headed.
wah wah wah wah beqabu say mogambo khush huwa lol
wah wah wah wah beqabu say mogambo khush huwa lol
bhai aur bhensooo opss behnoo, jokes pay sirf HANSOOOO osss ka postmartum karney ko kis ney kaha hai?????
Zubaida Apa kay Jatloo-Jalaltoo Totkey! Part 5

agar aap se koi bachi set nahin ho rahi
to aapki shakal achi nahin hogi.. beta iss men main kya kar sakti hun?
--------------
gosht men dalne kay liye koi sabzi samajh na aye
to aap gosht mein botiyan dal dein
--------------
sonkashi chahiye to
30 kg sonam aur 30 kg meenakshi ko blender mein daal ker blend karo, 5 minutes mein fresh sonakshi tayyar
--------------
diwaar kay doosri taraf dekhna ho
to beta tum aik drill machine lo. phir diwaar mein soorakh karo aur dekh lo
--------------
mun mein daant na hon
to aap ki warrantee khatam ho chuki hai
--------------
piyaz khane se agar mun me badboo ho jaye
to aap apni saas say hans hans ker baten karen, wo jald hi behosh hojaen gi
--------------
agar aap kay sir main shaded dard ho
to aik bara wala hotora le kar apne sir per maren aur khopri ke khultey he dard ko khench kar bahar nikal len.
--------------
agar aap kay kaan bund hojaen
to 6 kelay ek saath khaen, jiss ki wajah say aap ko shadeed qabz hoga. phir jab aap bohot zor lagengay to aap kay kaano say dhuan niklay ga aur kaan khul jaengay.
--------------
agar aap kay bachay zyada matti khate hein
to bachon ko matti ke pakoray, matti ke samosay, aur matti ki kheer bana ker den. wo bohot shoq say khaengay
--------------
beta agar tum meri bataee hui recipe bana ker khalo
to foran ambulance walon ko call karo
--------------
toilet bund hojaye
to ...to kiya...kamino...kiya mujhay jamdarni samajh rakha hai...abhi joota khench kay maroongi...
Shhhheee....khamosh.... Zubaida Apa aik baar phir ghussay mein aa chuki hain....bhago
A 4 APPLE
B 4 BADA APPLE
C 4 CHHOTA APPLE
D 4 DUSRA APPLE
E 4 EK AUR APPLE
F 4 FALTOO APPLE
G 4 GOL APPLE
H 4 HO GAYA NA PET KHARAB, KHAKE ITNE SARE APPLE?
Larka: hi
Reema: what
Larka: tum kesi ho?
Reema: kiya mein tumhen jaanti hoon?
Larka: mein Ameer hoon...
Reema: Oh!!! Achha....mein Reema hoon, 18 saal ki ... tum bohot achhay lag rahay ho....bahar chalen ???
Larka : mera poora naam Ameer Ahmad hai, kahan chalna hai??
Reema: sorry, mein larkon say baat nahin karti
subha subha app saab ko beqabu k zubaida aapa waley tootkey aur jokes parhney chaheeyeein, sharteeya pora din khushgawar guzrey ga,, (azmaya hoa nuskhaa hai)Love u jaaani Beqabuuuuuuu
2 gudddddddddddddddd
can any buddy tell me how to post a new topic ?
i m new user and its my first post
u just did it sir ,,,, congratss buddy ,,,,,,,,------------- and welcome to the ghundda gang
no no . my mean iz topic kese arrange karty hain?
jo topic chal rahe hain jese nadia khan wala or dosry hain wo kese yahan add karty hain.
main b koi topic dna chahti hoon js pe sab log aa kar apne comments likhen
wafaarzo
just click on "more" beside Hot topics in the middle right of the home page.......then u will see on right "post a new topic".......then go ahead.
H.O.T Topi.cs kay sath joo more likha hai uss per jain or bhir uss new safay per likha howa hai kay naya topic kay liaya yehan per clic.k kareen.
i have put dots and write in urdu otherwise my comments not going through.
thank you shooo much rider thank u thank u thank u
beqabuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu tusii kithey hooo broooooooooooooo???????????????? where is zubaida aapa's Mazey daar Tootkey? where is meera's Badhawaseeyain????
o ho larki wo b 23 saal ki
arey zar wali k pear wali,,, jani hum sey hi pooch leytein,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,, kher tu hai/??? loogoon ki profile check ki ja rahi hai,,, hain jee? llolzzzz
haan jani . karna parta hy
plz yaar dont mind . app ki batoon se mje lagta tha k u r a boy but jb check kia tou
tusi v apne hi jese nikly
hehehe
jooo app ney samjha Woo HUm nahi hain ,, aur joo hain oss ki samjh app ko kabhi nahi aa sakti,,, lolzzz ,,,,, ye high level ki bataan hain dilbara kheekheee kheee kheee kheee
funny na?waisay mehwish tum bohat khabees AUNTY ho tum nay meri naqli id bhi bana li,check a dot(.)in begening of my id Naintara i.e (.Naintara)lanat hay mehwish tum per...............huhhh
cmon yaar uqaab hameesha tumhari favour main bolti hon 1 comment tumharey against kernay per mujhay bhi mehwish_junk bana dia :)by the way wt is new version of mehwish kachra?
where is beqabu???????????????
larka shopkeeper say :aap kay pass valentine's day ka koi aisa card hai jis main likha ho kay main tum say or sirf tum say hi pyar karta hoon.
shopkeeper: haan hai.
boy: ok 12 card pack ker doo..........
aik chinee admi apni cheeni pregnant wife ko hospital lay gaya delivery kay liye. lekin bacha kala bhujang peda hua. chinee admi iss baat per sakht hairaan tha, uss nay bachay ka naam rakha...SOME TIN WONG
Meera ki Aqalmandian! Part 3

Aakhir-kaar Meera nay shaadi ka waada ker hi liya, lekin, aik budhay se.
Fans nay poocha: aapne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Meera: aik to inki income aur doosre inke din kum
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera: Sir, main English mein pass honay kay liye kuch bhi karun gi
Professor: kuch bhi?
Meera: yes
Professor: to jao aur khoob study karo
Meera: uffff, tobah, har bewaqoof professor yehi kehta hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera Beemar hogai to dcotor kay paas gai
Doctor: Meera Ji aap ko iss dawa kay 3 spoonfuls rozana subha shaam lenay hain.
Meera: mein ye nahi ker sakti!
Doctor: Kiyun?
Meera: meray hotel room mein sirf ek hi spoon hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera nay Mental Hospital phone kerkay receptionist say poochha,
Meera: Please, check ker kay batao kay room 27 mein koi hai
Receptionist jaker dekh ker aati hai aur kehti hai
Receptionist : Nahi room 27 khali hai.
Meera: Great, iss ka matlab hai, mein bhagney mein kamiyab hogai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meera jab bhi apnay hotel say bahar nikalti, aik parinda ussay bohot tang kerta.
Akhir aik din bari mushkilon say Meera nay woh parinda pakar liya aur boli: Mein tujhay bari bedadri say maroon gi.
Phir Meera uss parinday ko apnay hotel kay 20th floor per lay gai aur wahan say ussay nichay phenk diya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher: iss ka kiya matlab hai.... I MISS YOU
Meera: Is ka matlab hai, Mein tumhari miss hon
1 murgha, murghi kay peechay bhaag raha tha
kay achank murghi car kay neechay agai or mar gai
murgha bola: marhooma bari naik thi, jaan dedi per izzat bacha li.
shohar aur biwi ki larai ho rahi thi
husband bola: tu saali kuttti
biwi: tu sala kuttta
unka bacha saath main betha howa tha, wo bola: main saala Puppyyy
Veena Malik: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Veena Malik: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Veena Malik: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.
3 choontiyun ki taraf aik haathi bhaga aa raha tha
pehli choonti: hum iss hathi ko maar dalen gay!
doosri choonti: hum iss hathi ki taangen torr den gay!!
teesri choonti: maaf kerdo becharey ko hum 3 hain aur wo akela!!!
choonti aur haathi ki love marriage hui,
agley din haathi mar gaya,
choonti boli: wah ri mohabbat, 1 din ka piyar mila, ab sari umar qabar khodnay mein guzray gi
Gabbar Singh jab paida hua to uski maa ne usy bohot maara.
Nurse ne poocha, kiyun maar rahi ho?
Maa ne kaha, Paida hote hi puch raha tha, Kitne Aadmi thay?
daadi: kahan gai thi?
Veena: ashmit se milney gai thi.
daadi: kisliye?
Veena: haan, bohot kiss liye
shame on zubia91 the biggest raan*d on vidpk
gann*d rooz sarhad paar kar key india ja kar marwati hey ya marwata hey lanti kirdar
Dunya ka sab sey bara joke ZUBIA 91 JAB PAIDA HOI USKI DADI NEY US KI SHAAN MIEN QASEEDA PARHA
HAZIR HEY

tu koi barey kothey ki zeenat lagti hey ab aik lafz bola tu ney pakistan key against aur india key ki choot chati tu yaad rakh yahan sab key samney tera gang Ra*pe hoga .Ran*D
Raa*d ab apni maa veena ki terha islam aur muslaman ka libada aurhey gi tu bhool gaye apni sari gandi videos jo tu upload karti thi aik aik dekhi hien mienney tery mammey choos choos kar bharwi, bara maza aha khas kar jo tu ne pathanoki post ki thi, haram ki juni ab tu musalman hogi ,teri MKC
zabardast beqabuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
u rocksssssssssssssssssssssss
welcome back beqabuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
tusi AGAin chaaaaaa gaye broooooooooo
Sardar Prays Daily For 2 Hours
"Hey Vahey Guru Meri Lottery Lagade.
After 11 Yrs Vaheguru Angrily Appears & Says -Oey Uloo De Pathay Ticket To Le Le
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?
Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang : Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?
@asimpeshawar Qarardad-e-Pakistan 1940 me manzur hui,
Lekin dono mulk 1947 ko AzAD hue??
Q?
Q k 7 saal dono sochte rahe k
PATHAN kon rakhega or SARDAR(sikh) kon?
How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then..
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so i made it alright.
Sardar to his Son: Oye tu sher da putter hy aur wo sher mei hun.
Son: papa school me miss b yhe kehti hein k tu insan nhe kisi Janwar da putter ein
@asimpeshawar Pathan ne bank se car li
Lekin loan wapis nahi kar saka,
Bank waley car ley gaye,
Pathan: Pehley pata hota to
Shadi bhi bank se loan le kar karta.
A beautiful women was kissing a lion inside a cage in a circus Ring Master: Can any one do this.?
Sardar ji: Main aata hu Magar pehle sher ko bahar nekalo.
Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Häy...
Aik din Wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha:
Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.
An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in me Shadi ke liye kiya daikha ?
Girl : Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
Sardar g ap ko kabi kisi se pyar hua?
Han yar! Per wo manti hi nahi!
"Kia kehti hay?"
"Kehti hay
'I LOVE U 2'
pata nahi ye dosra kon hay.
Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, It is love; After marriage: It is self-defense
cmon vidpk,wt is going on here?i didnt write my last 4 comments,who is doing this?why are you merging my old comments with my new ones?
ONCE THERE WAS A MIRROR WHICH USED TO KILL LIERS:
FRENCH: I Think, I don't Smoke(KILLED)
AMERICAN: I Think, I Love Iraq.(KILLED)
SARDAR: I Think (KILLED)....
A Sardar was watching a movie " Jurassic Park " in the cinema.
The Dinosaurs runs towards the screen, Sardar ran quickly outside the cinema.
Friend: Why you are running. It's just a film.
Sardar: Mujhy pata hai ke ye film hai, tujhy pata hai ke ye film hai, magar usay kya pata woh to janwar hai.
Naintara koi naya lateefa bhi likhti behnaaaaa
saab k saab jokes copy paste kar diye,,,,,,,------
aur oss par sey TUm ye bhi chahoo gi k SAAAB hansein????
Aik pathan ko sab loog mar rahay thay.....
kisi nay poocha yar iss becharay ko keon mar rahay ho.
Logoon nay kaha :subah say pooch raha hai Valentine's day ki Namaz kitnay bajay ho gee......
gud one
shame on zubia91 the biggest raan*d on vidpk
gann*d rooz sarhad paar kar key india ja kar marwati hey ya marwata hey lanti kirdar
tu koi barey kothey ki zeenat lagti hey ab aik lafz bola tu ney pakistan key against aur india key ki choot chati tu yaad rakh yahan sab key samney tera gang Ra*pe hoga .Ran*D
bhool gaye apni sari gandi videos jo tu upload karti thi aik aik dekhi hien mienney tery mammey choos choos kar bharwi, bara maza aha khas kar jo tu ne pathanoki post ki thi, haram ki juni ab tu musalman hogi ,teri MKC
bari aye law hey deep thought sensibility ki lagti kuch teri aisi tesi tu ney hamien chota dimagh kaha tha chotey character wali bharwi
*its
1 Murghi Super Market gai Aur kaha: 1 Anda dena.

Salesman: Tum anday ka kya karogi?

Murghi: Mere Murghay ne kaha hai Darling! 5 Rupay kay Liye Tum Apna Figure Kharab Mat karo.
Bacha: main ne Billi kay samne 2 choohay rakhe uss ne 1 khaya 1 nahin khaya batao kiyun??
Aadmi: doosra chooha plastic ka hoga!
Bacha: nahin, doosra meri naak ka tha...
Zubaida Apa kay Kaddoo-Maarka Totkey! Part 6

sardion mein skin khushk ho jaye
to pani mein haldi aur milk powder daal ker ubal len.
thanda ho jaye to dahi, makhan, daal kay mixture ko oven mein rakh den.
kuch dair baad nikal ker uss mein garam pani daal ker phent len.
jab wo sahi paste ban jaye to phaink den
aur face pe cold cream laga lain
--------------
nand aap kay make-up ka saman istemal ker kay tabah kerti ho
to next time jab woh make-up ka saman maangnay aye to uss kay mun per zor-daar chamaat lagaen. uss ka mun laal hojaega aur ussay make-up ki zaroorat nahi hogi
--------------
agar pakistani shaadi mein jao
to toot paro khanay per aur yaad rakho,
1: pehli bar is tarha khana khao kay doosri bar milega nahin
2: doosri bar is tarha khana khao kay pehli bar mila hi nahin tha
--------------
agar sardi lag rahi ho
to apnay ooper mitti ka tail daal ker aag laga den, sardi nahi lagay gi aur na hi kambal ki zaroorat ho gi
--------------
Agr koi tumhain pathar maarey
to tumara farz ha kay tum us per phool phainko lekin gamlay samait
--------------
agar aap ki zindagi mein andhera ho
to bewaqoofo light On ker lo
--------------
kisi ko dua deni ho
to iss tarah do,
mooli gajar ka noor tujh par barsay
teri chahat mein aaloo timater barsay
teri zindagi mein ayen itne kaddoo
ke tu tindey khane ko kabhi na tarsay
--------------
kaam waali masi ko impress kerna ho
kambakhto...kaam waali ko to chhor do, agar uss nay apni jharoo se tumhen mor (pea-fowl) bana diya to nachtay phiro gay
--------------
aaj Zubaida chicken paka rahi theen, unhon nay jab chicken mein palak dala
to chicken nay nachna shru kerdiya aur gana gatey huye bola: Hum Pe Ye Kis Ne Hara Rang Dala.....Maar Dala Maar Dala
Bathroom Songs
In case of loose motions: Ruk ruk ruk arey babaa ruk.
In case of qabz:Na tu aaye gi, na hi chain aaye ga.
In case of gas trouble: Hawa hawa aae hawa khooshbu luta de.
After coming out of bathroom: Juda ho kay bhi, tu mujh mein kahin baaqi hai...
Faqeer: baji Allah kay naam par paisay do!
Aurat: hud-haram sharam nahin aati road par bheek mangtay ho!
Faqeer: O, kanjoosni , teray 1 rupay kay liye office kholon kiya.
A Rat fall in Love with a Cat!

How the Rat will propose a Cat?

O Billo Rani kaho to abhi jaan dey doon
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh beqabuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ur 2 gud subha subha fresh kar deti ho
mind blowing yara 2 good------
sara din khush guzrey ga-
khush rahoooooooooo beqabuuuu yaaraaaaa
beqabu kahan say ayi hai
beqabu kahan ko jai gi
hansa hansa kay deewana kissay
banai gi yah beqabuuuuuuu
acha song bana lia tusiiiiii wiii
@ dot Naintara wt is going on here :) mrs junk dnt try to spread misconception,that was only a fault in site :)
*********************wt the heck is that?i didnt post above 6 comments?how it comes, my 3 or 4 months old comments are re-posted here by itself?wt kind of site is this?**********************
teri maannn ki ch*t Naintara tu phir pinjerey sey nikal aye hey aik tu post kareti hey ooper sey bhonkti hey ,kya zayda germi char gaye thi desperate house wife?
shame on zubia91 the biggest raan*d on vidpk
gann*d rooz sarhad paar kar key india ja kar marwati hey ya marwata hey lanti kirdar
Dunya ka sab sey bara joke ZUBIA 91 JAB PAIDA HOI USKI DADI NEY US KI SHAAN MIEN QASEEDA PARHA
HAZIR HEY

tu koi barey kothey ki zeenat lagti hey ab aik lafz bola tu ney pakistan key against aur india key ki choot chati tu yaad rakh yahan sab key samney tera gang Ra*pe hoga .Ran*D
Raa*d ab apni maa veena ki terha islam aur muslaman ka libada aurhey gi tu bhool gaye apni sari gandi videos jo tu upload karti thi aik aik dekhi hien mienney tery mammey choos choos kar bharwi, bara maza aha khas kar jo tu ne pathanoki post ki thi, haram ki juni ab tu musalman hogi ,teri MK
Tu chand mange main chand dedoon,
Tu raat mange main raat dedoon,
Tu dil mange main dil dedoon,
Tu jaan mange,
Bas yaar...
Bheek mangne ki bhi koi limit hoti hai!
Doctor mareez k peechhy bhaag raha tha,
Logoon ne poocha kya hua?
Doctor - 4 bar aisa hua sala dimagh ka opperation karwanay aata hai aur BAAL katwa k BHAAG jata he
thanku muslimk
u welcome ishaan
very funny joke by zeus
6
zobia91@ kisi unknown id ne app ko galian baki hain or bohot kuch kaha hy
app ne parha hy kia ?
ye zindagi hy drama part 132 main
jo koi b hy ose is tarhan ki language use nai karna thi
Zubaida Apa Ka Interview

1. Pasandeeda Rang: Zarday Ka

2. Pasandeeda Khushboo: Karailay ki

3. Pasandeeda Phool: Gobhi Ka Phool

4. Pasandeeda Din: Dawat Ka

5. Pasandeeda Actor: Shaan ( masaley ki waja se)

6. Pasandeeda Song: Gol gappay wala aya gol gappay laya

7. Pasandeeda Movie: Mirch Masala

8. Pasandeeda Mahawara: Aam ke aam guthlion ke daam

9. Pasandeeda Sher:
aalo, bhindi, kaddoo, tinda, toree
sab hain niralee, sab hain rasilee

10. Pasandeeda Hobby: Kaddoo Chheelna

11. Pasandeeda Naam: Haleema

12. Pasandeeda Sheher: BhaTinda

13. Pasandeeda Hill Station: Shimla (mirch ki wajah se)

14. Pasandeeda Parinda: Murghi (bhuni huee)

15. Pasandeeda Kitaab: Pakwan

16. Farigh waqt mein kiya kerti hain: Apna banaya hua khana khati hoon

17. Pasandeeda Dish: Choon Choon Ka Murabba

18. Koi Message: Khoob Pakao, Khoob Khao, Khoob - - - - (censor hogia)
antar mantar qalee qalanantar
chee pataakh teen ka dabba chhua
hul hul hula jhul jhul jhula
Kuchh Mehsoos Hua

Nahi

Jadogar Ne Bhi Yehi Bataya Tha Yeh Jadoo Shetan Par Asar Nahi Karegaa
Dhikchik Dhikchik
Dhikchik Dhikchik
Kuhu Kuhu

Dhikchik Dhikchik
Dhikchik Dhikchik
Kuhu Kuhu

Any Guesses About Yeh Kya Hai ??????

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.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
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Yeh Koyal Ke Gaane Ka Remix Hai
1 Hindu Faoji Ne Jahaaz Se Koodtay Hue Kaha
Jay Kali Mata Ki


Kali Mata Ney USS Ke Moo Per EK Thappar Lagaya Aur Boli
Kali Mata Kahan Ki....
Ab Main Bhi Fair And Lovely Lagati Hoon
Aaj Ka Khana Hamari Taraf Se

(())
Kabab

Seekh Boti

Seekh Kabab

&

!_!
/.\

Cold Drink

Enjoy Karo Gharibo
Aaj Ka Khana Hamari Taraf Se

(())
Kabab

--@--@--@--
Seekh Boti

---%%%%---
Seekh Kabab

&

!_!
/.\

Cold Drink

Enjoy Karo Gharibo
Faqeer: Kuch khaane ko do!

Dilber: Tamatar Khao

Faqeer: Roti Hee de do baba

Dilber: Tamatar Khao

Faqeer: Tamatar hi khila do

Haseena: Ye Totla hai, Keh rahe hai KAMAKAR KHAO!
1 Afriki Apne Khandan K Sath Jungle Me Ja Raha Tha

1 Din Usey Jungle Se 1 Shisha Mila

Wo Samjha K Us K Baap Ki Tasveer Hai

Wo Usey Apne Ghar Le Gaya Or Us Se Roz Baten Karne Laga

Us Ki Bivi Ko Shak Hua

1 Din Shohar Ki Gair Mojoodgi Me Us Ne Shisha Nikala Or Apna Aks Dekh K Boli:

Acha Tho Ye Hai Wo Kalmoohi Jis Se Mera Shohar Baten Karta Tha

Os Ne Shisha Apni Saas Ko Dikhaya To Saas Ne Kaha:

Khair Hai Buddhi Hai Jald Mar Jaegi.... :)
too funny
too funny
aya reeeeeeeeeee
aya reeeeeeeeeee
beqabu jokes sunanay
hamay hasanay
aya reeeeeeeeeeee
hahahahahahhha nice aamad beqabuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
sardar pathan se tum ne
aaj docter ke pas nai jana,

pathan;
Aaj hamari tabiat kharab ha
jab thek ho gi to jaon ga.........
1 pathan ko shadi ke 3 months
baad beta hua,

pathan to bivi
ye 3 months me beta kese hua?

bivi;
ap ki shaadi ko kitna arsa hua?

pathan;
3 months

bivi:
aur meri shaadi ko?

pathan;
3 months

bivi;
aur bacha kitne months
ke baad huwa?

pathan;
3 months

bivi;
total kitne hue?

pathan;
oye yara waqai 9
mahine ho gay
laghta hay k beqabu ye totkey pehlay khud per azmata hey phir likhta hey.
2 gud
every body ans me.
kiyon kay uski eyes bhangin hongin hehehheee
nai try again
joker@ may be true love
only girls can answer this .....but my guess shakal dekh kar shaeed unka dil na karay iss liay ankheen ban kar leateein hain.
i have read this sms many times on net, here is the answer/full version,

Question : Why do girls close their eyes while kissing a guy?
Guess
.
.
.
Because
Yeh ladkiyan ladkon ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti.
ha haey
boli baat hy aeshi baten nai kalty chohti bachian b yahan ati hain wo b ye parhti hain bola ashar palta hy
googoo gaagaa...sholee(sorry) sholee sholee ..... :)
chaleen hum aisi bateen nahi kartay ....lakin yeh tashnagi to door kar deen ,app ankheenn keon band kar leateen hain....:)
beqabu@ you r 100% right yehi ans ha waqai tum beqabu ho.
beqabu@ chalo tumhare lye 1 sawal ha balke koi bi ans ker de no problam.
ok

1 admi zindagi se tang a ker khud kushi ker leta ha wo ase khud kushi kerta ha ke police ko kuch samajh nae ati is ne ase kese kia?
us admi ne chat ke phukke se latak ker khud kushi ki us ki maut ka logo ko 4 din bad pata chalta ha darwaza tor ker ander jaten hain wo tu phukke se latka hua ha lekin neche asi koi cheez nae ha jis se wo char ker latka ho or kamre me or kuch nae ha.

ans do hints de sakta hon only 1
kisi ne bhi jawab nahi diya. koi baat nahin
chalo hum hi bata detey hain,

wo aadmi baraf (ice) ki silen (blocks) laya. aur un ice blocks ko aik kay ooper aik rakh ker charh gaya aur pankhay(ceiling fan) se latak ker mer gaya. kuch der baad ice blocks pighal (melt) gaye aur sara pani beh gaya.
Q: Duniya ka sub se bara Toilet Konsa Hai?

Guess!!!!!
.
.
.
.

A: Pakistan ka Railway Track

Ye track Karachi se Khyber tak jata hai. Ye Duniya ka taweel tareen Toilet hai.
Zubaida Apa Ka ChhipKali Maarnay Ka Khufia Totka

* Chinee mein laal mirch powder mila ker goliyan bana len aur kisi aisi jaga per rakh den jahan chhipkali aati ho.
* Kuchh hi der mein chhipkali wo sub goliyan kha le gi aur uss ko bohot mirchen lagen gi
* Mirchon ki waja se chhipkali sink ki taraf bhagay gi paani peenay k liye, jab wo pani peenay lagay to ussay sink mein dhakka de kar thanda pani khol den.
* Chhipkali ko thanday pani mein bheeg ker sardi lagey gi to wo jaltay hue choolhay ki taraf jaegi.
* Jab Chhipkali aag kay qareeb jaaye to aag mein ek phuljharee daal daal den.
* Phuljharee ki chingarion say chipkali jal ker zakhmi hojaye gi.
* Zakhmi Chipkali ko ICU mein admit kara den
* Aur phir jub Chhipkali ICU mein ho to uss ke moo se Oxygen Mask hata den.
* Chhipklai dum ghutney se mar jaegi aur kisi ko pata bhi nahi chalay ga
Ek pathan bari dair say ek haseen larki ko ghoor raha tha.
larki sharma kar boli kaya daykh rahay ho
pathan bola hum soch rah tha kay agar tum hamara ammi hota toh hum bhi khobsurat hota.
Ek repoter zakhmi larki say kay jab bomb gira toh kaya who ek dum say phatta.
zakhmi larki gussay say
ji nahi,who raingta huwa meray kareeb aya
aur nihayat adab say
payar say
dheeray say
holay say
sharma kay araz kiya
BACHNA AYE HASEENO LO MAI AHH GAYA
DHUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
BIWI SHOHAR SAY
SUNA HAI KAY JANNAT MAI BIWI KO NAHI LAY JA SAKTAY
HUSBAND BOLA HANN PAGLI ISS LIYE TOH USSAY JANNAT KHATAY HAIN.
BAAP BETAY SAY
AJJ TAK TUMNAY MERA AISAY KOI KAMM NAHI KIYA JIS SAY MERA SAR UNCHA HO
BACHAY BOLA
YAAD KARAY PAPA EK DAFA MAINAY APP KAY SAR KAY NICHAY TEEN TAKIYAN RAKHAY THAY.
TRAIN CHAL PARI DO PATHAN BARI TEZZI SAY DORTAY HUWAY AHH RAHAY THAY
EK NAY HIMMAT KI AUR TRAIN KO PAKARNAY MAI KAMYAAB HO GAYA LOGON NAY TAREEF KI
WAH JI BARI HIMMAT HAI APP KI KAHAN JANA HAI APP KO
PATHAN BOLA
OHHH KHANA KHARABA JIS KO JANA THA WHO PECHAY RAH GAYA HUM TOH CHARHANAY AYA THA KHOCHA.
TEACHER NAY STUDENT KO MY CLASS TEACHER PAR ESSAY LIKHNAY KO DIYA
THORI DAIR BAD EK STUDENT KHARA HUWA
USNAY MISS SAY POCHA
KAY MISS `CHIKNI` KO ENGLISH MAI KAYA KHATAY HIAN.
beqabu perfect right.good
************* Medical Ghazal ********************

Chalo ao ab mosam ka Maza chakhen
Tamam dawain bachoun ki pohonch se door rakhen

Tum se milne ki ab kya justujo karen
Tabeyat zyada kharab ho to doctor say rujou karen

Hamari chahat ka kuch to khayal karen
syrap ko achi tarha hila kar istemal karen

Dil mera toot gaya uthi jab us ki doli
subha dopeher sham aik aik goli

Dil mera ishq karne pe razamand rahey ga
juma k din clinic band rahey ga
"Rasheeda says :
Every one is not my friend but my friends r not like every one.

Sari achi bateen shakspear he nahi kehta,kabhi apnay ki bhi sun leya karo......:)
Faraz ney parindey say pocha ..
kia tumhain asmaan sey girnay ka nahi hai dar?

parinday nay kaha...

Faraz plz yaar pathano wali baat mat karo.
gud one rider
Names Of lunnn With Ages:
01-05:Nono
06-10: Phunno
11-14: Lulli
15-20: Lun
20-25: Pyaasa
26-35: Shikari
36-50: Naram Garam
51-60: Kaam Chor
61-75: Zinda laash
Aik 1UN adalat may gaya
OR
Faryad ki
Judge Sab.
Min chota tha to mera gala kat dia gya,
thora bara hua to masal masal k meri halat khrab kar di,
OR
Jab min jawan howa to muje roz andhy kunwin my dala jata jaha garmi aor tangi ki waja se mera dam ghut-ta.
Muje roz ultiyan ati thin
aor mujy bayhoshi ki halat may bahar nikala jata mera kasoor kiya hy?
Judge: Bench0d tera kasoor ye hy k tu akarta bohut hy!!!
Jail me pathan se Qaidi ne pocha:
kis case mei ho?

Pathan:
GHEEBAT k case mei

Qaidi:
gheebat?Wo kaisey?

Pathan:
wo hum Larkey ka peeth peechey burai kia tha.
Jail me pathan se Qaidi ne pocha:
kis case mei ho?

Pathan:
GHEEBAT k case mei

Qaidi:
gheebat?Wo kaisey?

Pathan:
wo hum Larkey ka peeth peechey burai kia tha.
a question
wo konsi vegetable hy jis k naam main 2 chezon k naam aik sath ate hain ???????
kheera...
Boy: Mujh se shadi karo gi........?
Girl: Kia?
Boy: Achi film hai na!
Girl:Kuttay k bachay.
Boy:What!!??
Girl: Kitnay cute hotay hian na
nai kheera nai hy
Suger level

Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it Wife observes the whole episode.

Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,

&

&

&

&

&

Happily they drank went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.
GF IS BEAUTY and WIFE IS DUTY,

GF IS SPRINGROLL and WIFE IS DABBAGOL,

GF IS CHUSKI and WIFE IS RISKY,

GF IS TOOTIFROOTY and WIFE IS KISMAT PHOOTI
Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha!!!
zarwaali786

very funny .......good one's...specially blood bank wala.
thank u shooo much
app hal waqt kuch olta hi bolty hou ye pehli baal hy jo ap ne acha kaha
GF is springroll and wife is dabbagol...very funny
16 sala larki k set hone se ch0dne tak 16 nakhrey:

1. Mera peecha mut karo
2. Mein sharif larki hoon
3. Bus aik bar bolon gi ILU
4. Sirf aik bar milun gi
5. Kuch karna nahi
6. Koi dekh le ga
7. Bus ooper se ker lo
8. Pent mut utaro
9. Bus aik bar hi karwaun gi
10. Sharam aa rahi ha
11. Bahut lamba ha
12. itna mota nahi jaye ga
13. Zor se mut daalna
14. Bohat dard ho raha ha
15. Kamar ko pakar k dalo
16. Bahair na nikalo ander rahny do.
achay jokes to har aik ko pasand aatay hain.....
jokes plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz saray so gay hain kaya beqabu where r uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?????
@zarwaali786 I think woh vegetable hai Serson is mein ser(Head) aur son (qasam pabjabi mein son kehtey hain am I right?
is ke ilawa Palak bhi ho sakta hai Paa meas paaon nd lak (Luck means qismat.)
zarwaali wow u r great jokes.
1 pathan apne nikah naame ko goor se dekh raha
tha.

bivi to pathan;

ap kia itni der se nikah naame ko goor se dekh rahe ho.

pathan to bivi;

ohe dilruba darasal hum nikah naame me expiry date dhoond raha tha.
kisi ne b sahi nahi btaya na
main hi bta dti hoon
lockey
lock key
A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend

Friend Asked : Who Is She?

Boy : My Cousin.

The Frend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin.! :D
Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
twinkle Twinkle little star,
teri girl friend gaye bazar,

us ko mil gaya MAJNO ka pyar,
ab tu beth ker makhiyan maaar
he is not my friend
1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)
The latest slogn of boys:
Pakistan is our nation
Girls are our Destination
Dating is Our Occupation
Flirting is our Profession
Leave about Education
Impact of Movies:

Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?

Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.

Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.
sardar in coffee shop with his wife:
Srdar: Jldi Pi, Coffee thandi ho Jau gi.
Wife: Fer ki hoe ga?

Srdar: Bywakof Rate List waikh

Hot coffee Rs.15

Cold coffee.45:-
Sardar wife: o sardar ji car ki sped kyun barha di?

sardar:gari k break fail ho gaYe hain is sey pehle acident hojaye jaldi ghar paunch jate hain.
1st Sardar:
Yaar Koi Aisa Karobaar Bata Jis Men Zyada Munaafa Ho?
.
.
2nd Sardar:
Aisa Kar Sardiyon Men Sasti Baraf Le Kar Garmiyon Men Baich Dey.. :-)
1 Sardar ko TERA BHAI kehne ki boht aadat thi,

SHadi ki raat apne room me gya or Dulhan ka Ghoonghat utha k bola,

"KAISA LAG RAHA HAI
TERA BHAI".....
Sardar Pathan se:
Yaar meri Saas ka birthday hy, koi sasti or achi antique cheez btao jo usey doon

Pathan:
O Khocha, esa karo Hamara Sussar de do:-D
lol 2 gud
kooooooooooooooooool jokes Zarwaali.good
Zarwali pear wali hath wali---------------- beqabu k jokes ko apni taraf sey copy kar k chappti haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
aby o beqabo ki amma beqabo ki chamchi khod koi joke le aa na apni taraf se
mere joks parh q rahi hy
or mje koi shoq nai hy kisi k joks copy karne ka wo khod internet se copy karta hy khod koi tees mar khan nai hy samjhi na
shalwarwaali tumhara blood pressure bohot high hogiya hai.
tum 3 ya 4 zor-daar paad maro, bara sakoon milay ga aur gussa bhi kam hojaega muft mein :)
kabhi kabhi gas-pressure ki waja say blood-pressure high ho jata hai......OK :)
tm se kisi ne baat ki
to phir doosron ko meri amma kiyun bana rahi ho?
oukat kam mili thi shayad
jo pehel kar rahi hy ose ges nikalne ki zarorat hy
so plz forward ur comments to muslimk
main ne tm se baat nai ki ose ans dia jo moo lag rahi hy zahir hy koi saga hi hota hy jo kisi k bare main itna kuch keh sakta hy
shalwarwaali pehel aap nay ki hai
os muslimk ki bachi ne q kaha k main ne tmhary jokes copy keay hain ose samjhao na os ki web site nai hy ye sab k leay hy
or tm s zara tameez se baat karou shalwar wali kehne se pehle soch lou main b bohot kuch keh sakti hoon okz
ok ustaani chappal waali ji :)
aby jharoo waly kaly botyh waly baba g ap koi ges maro ohh i mean koi joke maro na jharoo waly kaly boothy waly baba g bohot don hoe koi ges oh i mean koi joke nai mara
hahaha....ustaani chappal waali ji khul rahi hain ahista ahista :)
Aik Angraiz ne Pakistani Mirchon wala khana khaya
subha toilet say bahar aa kar bola: ab samajh mein aaya kay Pakistani log pani se kiyun dhotay hain, tissue se aag kahan bujhti hogi
Aik aadmi public toilet mein gaya, uss ki nazar samnay pari, likha tha: left side ki taraf dekhen. uss ne left side ki taraf dekha, wahan likha tha: right side ki taraf dekhen.
uss ne right side ki taraf dekha, wahan likha tha: ooper dekhen, uss ne ooper dekha, wahan likha tha: neechay dekhen. Uss ne neechay dekha, wahan likha tha: idhar udher kiya dekh rahay ho bewaqoof...araam se beth ker hago
Aik lambi naak walay aadmi ki shaadi laambi naak wali aurat se hogaee
jab un ka bach piad hua to
Nurse boli: Mubarik ho, Aap kay ghar aik NAAK paida huee hai saath mein thora sa bacha bhi laga hua hai
Chef Rahat Ki Chicken Biryani Recipe

Ek Murghi Ko QATAL Karo.
Oil Me Use GHUSAL Do.
Phir Dahi Ka Safaid KAFAN Do
Shan Masale Se Khushbo Ki DOHNI Do.
Us K
Bad Chawal Me Us Ki QABAR Banao.
Jab Tayar Ho Jaye To Mujhe Dawat Do.
Take Me Us Ki NAMAZ E JANAZA Parhaon.
HAPPY BIRYANI
DAY.
Botian Kha K Geo.
Phir Kab Aaon?
hahaha gud beqabu
welcome beqabuu with ap ki beqabuuu aamad k sath
beti maa se;

ami jab me susu kerti hoon
tu citi ki awaz bajti ha keun;

maa beti se;

beta meri bi pehly asi he citi bajti thi
per ab tumhare abba ne bajaja ke kharab
ker di ha,
Joker nay yeah upar waala joke apni sister aur maa ka likha hai
zubia91 ye khas tumhare leye tha.
zubia91 ki citi to pehlay he baand ho chuki hai unn garam mardoon ki videos dekh kar jo uss nay upload ki thi........
rider kay ghar may iski apni aik sagi behen hai uska naam bhi ubia hai..apni behen ki baat kar raha hai yeah rider bayghairat
Rider aur Joker ki MAA ka kirdar inn kay in comments aur jokes say saaf zaahir hota hai... apni maa aur behno ki bhi aisay hee izzat karte hoan gaey yeh do bayghairat mard
ooooooh hooooo hum dono begairat murd or teri maa ne tujhy ye sikhaya ha ke garam or hot mujre upload karo or logo ko dekhao.mujhy pata ha ye zindagi me tune humayun ko madak or javeria ko vena se mila tha us bat ka badla ly rai ho na wahan tu teri bolti band ker di thi sub ne.or apni citi ko sambhal ker rakh zada uchal mat.maa behan ki bat pehly tum ne ki thi.mene or rider ne nae
Husband: aaj khane mein kya banaogi?

Wife: Jo aap kaho

H: Dal chawal bana lo
W: Abhi kal hi to khaye the

H: to sabzi roti bana lo
W: bacche nahi khayenge

H: to chhole puri bana lo
W: mujhe heavy heavy lagta hai

H: karhai goshat bana lo
W: aaj goshat ka nagha hai

H: paraathe?
W: raat ko paraathe kaun khata hai??

H: Hotel se mangwa lete hain?
W: roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye

H: kadhi chawal?
W: dahi nahi hai

H: payay banaloo?
W: usme time lagega.pehle bolna chahiye tha na!!

H: maggi hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega
W: woh koi meal thodi hai? Pet nahi bharta

H: phir ab kya banaogi?
W: wo jo aap kaho
acha joke hy .full tym pakaoo joke .
jokes kay dozz plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Ajnabi :beta thora pani milega?
Baccha: lassi mile ge.
Ajnabi:bohat hi acha hay, 5 glass lassi pi kay bola tumhare gahar main koi lassi nahi pita?
Bacch:pita to hay par aj lassi main chipkali gir gai thi.
Ajnabi nay zor se peyala phenka or tor diya.
Bacch:Ammi piyala toot gia he ab muna poti kis main kare ga?
lol
yikes!
Zubaida Apa kay Palang-Torr Totkey! Part 7

agar apna dimagh check kerna ho
to cow kay samnay kharay ho jaaen. agar cow aap kay paas aaye to samajh lein kay aap kay ser mein bhoosa bhara hai aur agar cow chali jaaye to khaali hai
-------------------------------
machli pakatey waqt badboo aaye
to iss ka matlab hai aap ne kachchi gas (phuski) chhori hai, machli bechari ka koi qusoor nahin hai
-------------------------------
pashto sikhni hai to
subha dopeher shaam 100 bar bolen.... takh takh, pukh pukh, khoo khoo, khaa khaa, kherr berr, kerr berr
-------------------------------
chhotay bachay ko raat mein neend na arahi ho to
beta apnay mun per ek zordar chamaat lagao tumhari need bhi ghaaib ho jegi
-------------------------------
agr ap chaey banatay waqt chaey ki patti kay sath thora sa tambacu bhi dal dein
to chaey kay bad cigratte ki talab nahi hogi
-------------------------------
agar nails pe matti ka tail dal kr agg laga di jaye to unhen kaatnay ki zaroorat paish nahin aati
-------------------------------
agar nazar kamzor ho
to aik laal baig ko 2 cup doodh mein ubaal ker, dhoop mein sukha ker, chutki bher laal mirchon kay saath pees ker ankhon per lagaaen, bohot jald ifaqa hoga
-------------------------------
date per girlfriend ko le jana ho
to usko topi wala burqa pehna lo. iss tarha munni badnaam b nahin hogi
-------------------------------
agar sardioun mein raat ko sonay say pehlay aik addad taiz mooli, aik plate ubli hui chanay ki daal, aur kaala namak hasbe-e-zaiqa kha kay ooper say lehaaf orh liya jaye
to aap kay lehaaf kay andar chemical bombing start ho jaeygi js say andar ka temperature barh jaeyga aur sardi nahi lage gi
note: jazbati ho k khaanay ki miqdaar ko zayada mat kariye ga warna lehaaf jal ker phatt sakhta hai
-------------------------------
agar sardiyon me aap ke pairon ki airiyaan phat jayen or koi cold cream asar na kare
to aap sui dhaaga lay ker apni airiyon ko sii len
-------------------------------
agar jism pay garmi dano ko khujanay say zakham ho jaaen
to jaraseem ko marnay kay liye un zakhmon pe laal mirch, namak mila ker lagaaen
to aapkay moun se foran niklega ZUBAIDA AAPA Tum Aik Dafa Mil Jao Bus
-------------------------------
agar ghee seedhi ungli say naa niklay
to kambakhto ghee ko garam karlo har cheez mein ungli dalna zaroori hai kiya?
very good totkey .chai ki patti wala or munni badnaam hoi best hain
good job
Yun Pakistan say dushmani achi nahi hai India
Sheela teri jawan hai
Munni teri badnaam hai
aur
Captain humara PATHAN hai
INDIA walo yaad rakho agar world cup mein hum se na haary to,
Shoaib malik or Sania mirza k bad agli bari
Shoaib Akhtar or Dia Mirza ki hai
.
.
Sheikh Rashid bhi kanwara he.
Or
Tmhari Lata Mangeshker bhi.
.
.
Waseem Akram ki wife bhi nh rahi
Or
Sushmita Sen bhi akeli hai.
.
.
Or to or
sub se bada khatra Sonia Gandhi ko hai kay uss ka shohar mar chuka hay
Aur
Aur hamara Asif Ali Zardari bhi.....
hahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
KYA RISHTEY HIEN ITNEY SAREY SALEY
SONIA AUR ZARDARI KA TU ZABERDAST HEY YAAR YEH TU WESEY BHI HO JAYE TU ACHA HEY
pathan calls wife: ghar nahi aa sakta ,car ka steering gear sub chori ho gaya hai...

After 5 mint: he calls again "aa raha hun, galti say pichli seat pe beth gaya tha.
Teacher :iss ko khalis punjabi main translate karo
"you are drinking tea alone"

student: Lakh lanat teri shakal tey begherta,kalyaan e cha,pi reyan aen......
sardar darvazey pay Gun liya khara tha.
wife: yahan kyun khary ho?
sardar: sher ka shikar pay ja raha hoon.
wife: To jao.
sardar: Kaise jao bahar kutta khara hay.
sardar darvazay pay Gun liya khara tha .
wife: yahan kyun khary ho?
sardar: sher ka shikar pay ja raha hoon.
wife: to jao.
sardar: kaise jao bahar ku.tta khara hay.
Teacher : agar tum apnay dost ko 500 do, usko 200 ki zarurat ho to woh kitnay wapis dega?
student : kuch bhi nahi
Teacher: tum hisab nahi jantay.
student: sir app uss chawal ko nahi jantay.
professor: jo dusray ko apni bat na samjaha sakay wo Gadha hota hai.
student: sir kiya matlab main samjha nahi...
aik larki apnay boy friend kay sath ghum rahi thi kay achanak uska husband agaya or larkay ko marnay laga.
larki: mar Kamin.ay ko apni biwi ko to ghumata nahi dusron ki biwi ghumani lay aata hai.
itnay main larkay ko josh aaya or woh husband ko marnay laga.
larki: mar kut.tay ko na khud ghumane le jata hai na kisi or ko ghumane deta hai.
Girl: chand kitnay hoty hain.
Boy: do ...1 tum or ek woh oper!

After marriage..........

wife: chand kitnay hoty hain.
husband: andhi ho kya,woh asman pay kia kharboza hai.
"Agar tum kisi ghareeb ko us ka Haq dila nahi saktay ,to jo us kay paas hai wo b cheenlo."

(janab Asif ali zardari ki kitab :pakistan khappay aur awam tappay say iqtibaz)
Doctor : motape ka 1 hi elaaj hay tum rozana sirf 1 roti hi khaya karo!
sardar: yeh 1 roti khane say pehly khani hai ya khane kay baad?
couple silent in bed.
wife thinks:
why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman?
Does he like some one else?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight at the wrong places?
Does my makeup repel him these days?
Is he upset with my nagging?

why is he upset?

Husband thinks:
Why the hell did Afridi give the last over to Razzaq!
abey o saley rider tu wahan dosri discussion mien tableegh kertahey yahan jahiloun ki terha wohi kaam kar raha hey waqt zaya aur cricket key lateefey.. bhrwa hey tu tu yaar
2 guddddddddddddd
1 joke ha per yad nae a raha.phr sahi
Thanks usuck, haan ZABERDAST ho jayega ager hamaray kunwaray Sheikh Rashid ki shaadi kunwari Lata Mangeshker se ho aur
Benazir ke baad akele Zardari k liye bewa Sonia Gaandhi hi best rahegi ...soch ker hi hansi aati hai.....hahahaha
Baby 2 a Lady
Baby: aunty ap k pait ma kya ha?
lady: es ma mera piyara sa,pala pala,nanha munha baby ha.
Baby: chal jhooti.agar itna hi piyara tha to khaya q tha
Utho Jago Pakistan with Shaista Wahidi

Shaista: Assalam o Alaikum Viewers, Kesay hain aap sub log...bak bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter........ bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.....bak bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter...(10 minutes tak bakwas)
Shaista: Miltay hain break k baad

Shaista: Welcome back viewers aaj hum phir sirf BOTOX ki batein hi karengay, hamaray saath hain Saba Ansari aur Dr Fazeela .....
Dr Fazeela (Shaista se), tum 100 botox injections subha dopeher shaam apnay moo per lago to 16 ki lago gi, main ne bhi apne moo per 1000 Botox injections lagae hain ab mera moo plastic ka lagta hai bilkul
Saba Anasari: mein 10000 BOTOX injections apne jism per lagwaker football bun chuki hoon.............bak bak bak bak..BOTOXBOTOXBOTOX..bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.......BOTOXBOTOX....bak bak bak bak (30 minutes tak botox bakwas)
Shaista: Miltay hain break k baad

Shaista: Welcome back Viewers aaj hamari mehman hain Sadia Imam. Sadia aap kahan paida hoen?
Sadia Imam: ji mein
Shaista (saidai ki baat kaat ker): Main to Karachi main paidahui thi. bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.....bak bak bak bak.. Oh haan mein poochh rahi thi k Sadia app kana paida Huen?
Sadia Imam: ji mein Rawalpindi
Shaista (sadia ki baat aik baar phir kaat ker): Rawalpindi Bara hi khoosurat sheher hai. mein wahan 50 chakker laga chuki hoon....bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.....bak bak bak bak.. Oh acha to aap Rawalpindi mein paida huen. Achha ye batein aap ne acting kab shroo ki
Sadia Imam: jab mein college
Shaista (sadia ki baat kaat ker): Mein to college mein bohot busy hoti thi. mediacal college mein admission ke liye bohot pernha pert tha bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.....bak bak bak bak.. aik call letey hain. Hamariay saath line per hain miss Faqeerni No1
Miss Faqeerni No1: meri pehli dafa call mili hai. shaista app bohot khooobsurat hain, aap kay kapray bohot achay hain. Mujhay Gift main kiya de rahi hain?
Shaista: Aik dress aap ka hua. Viewers, aaj ka sawal hai k
1) Shaista bak bak zyada kerti hai
2) Shaista bla bla zyada kerti hai
3) Shaista ter ter zyada kerti hai
hamein zyada se zyad sms karin
Shaista: sadia, aaj kal kiya horaha hai?
Sadia: ji aaj
Shaista (sadia ki baat kaat ker): main to aakal nonstop bak bak bak bak bak bak kerti hoon bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.....bak bak bak bak..sadia aap kiya keh rahi theen?
Sadia: ji aaj kal meray paas jo
Shaista (sadia ki baat aik baar phir kaat ker): meray paas to bohot dresses hain...bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.....bak bak bak bak...hamariay saath line per hain miss Faqeerni No2
Miss Faqeerni No2: meri first time call mili hai. shaista app husn ki devi hain, aap ka dress bohot acha hai. Mujhay Gift main kiya milay ga?
Shaista: Aik dress aap ka hua. Viewers, aaj ka sawal hai k
1) Shaista bak bak zyada kerti hai
2) Shaista bla bla zyada kerti hai
3) Shaista ter ter zyada kerti hai
hamein zyada se zyad sms karin
.bak bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter........ bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.....bak bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter...bak bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter........ bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.....bak bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter...bak bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter........ bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter.....bak bak bak bak....bla bla bla bla bla bla...ter ter ter ter ter..
(70 minutes kay interview mein Sadia Imam 3 minutes hi bol pai bamushkil)
Shaista: viewers program ka waqt khatam hogaya umeed hai app ko Sadia Imam ka interview bohot pasand aaaya hoga. Kal main phir bak bak karoon gi...Khuda Hafiz
Utho Jago Pakistan
wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww v gud beqabu ap to sach ma beqabu han............... hahahaha
Husband: kya tum nay mujhe kutt'a kaha?
wife: did't answer
Husband again asked.

No answer.
Then he asked again.

Wife: Nahi kaha na,plz ab bhonkna band karo..
Eik aadmi Dr.se: Lambi umar ka koi Tariqa bataiye.
Dr: shadi kar lo.
Aadmi: kia iss say umar lambi ho jaegi?
Dr.Nahi, ye shoq khatam hojaega.
" Tamaam pakistannion say guzarish hai kay jab wo khud har jaen to kisi aur team ko support kar k us ka beragharak na karen.
shukria"

(kumara sangakara: sri lankan captain)
Aziz pakistaniyoo......

Tension mat lo main nay kal rat badla lay liya hai
.
.
.
.
shoaib Malik:)
Husband or wife main jhagra hua, tou wife nay apni maa ko fone kiya:
ammi mera un say jhagra ho gaya hai, main 3,4 mahino k liye aap k ghar aa rahi hoon.

Maa boli: jagahra us kamina'y nay kia hai saza bhi usey hi milni chahiye.....

Tu wahi ruk main aa rahi hoon,5 ,6 mahinoo kay liyay.
3 chehray Inaan ko kabhi nahi bhooltey......

eik mushkil main sath dainay wala.

Doosra mushkil main sath chorr janay wala.
..
..
tesra
.
.
.
.
"Misbah-ul-Haq"
Jab main 6 saal ka tha to mera baap mujhe jaib kharch nai deta tha, phir main ammi kay sath sone laga or abu ko ammi kay pass nai aane deta tha,
abbu majbur ho kar muje 20 rupee roz dene lagay

"siyasat ka ye mera pahla kadam tha......"

(asif Ali zardari ki kitab:
han main bachapan say kam'ina hun)
2 gud
bohat zaberdast rider
fairy77

app or meri tareef ......kuch yaqeen nahi aa raha.......sunna hai dushmanoon ki tareef karnay wala bohat aala zarf hota hai.
A couple in an Art Gallery saw a picture of a Girl covered by leaves.

Husband keeps on watching..........
wife: Ab chalna hai ya tufan ka intizar kar lain.
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Pakistani Innings.
*
Where do Pakistani batsmen perform at their best?
In Advertisements.
Do dost film dekhnay gaye rastay main pan ki dukan se paan khareed liya , aur aagey peeche beth gaye, beech film main aagey bethay dost nai mushkil main kaha yaar peek jama hogayi hai kia karoo peechey walai ne kaha yaar aglay ki jaib main dalday tou usne kaha n ahi is tarah touu s ko pata chal jaye ga tou peechay walai ne kaha abhi tak tujh ko pata chala ?
*Afridi Cricket Khel Kar Aya,

Mohammad Yousuf:
Kitnay Runs Banay?

Afridi:
Triple Century Hone Me 299 Run Baqi Thay,
Saalon Ne Pehle Hi Out Kar Dia!
joker ???????????
kia hoa tmhe
@rider apna apna zarf aur zaban hey.. apni apni terbyat hey..)
isy joke nhi samjhna..... ye mujy jis mr. engineer ny dedicate kia tha agr wo is site per b hy to... now its 4 u MR ENGINEER..
sorry to all doctors but yahan doctors ki jga eng. aur eng ki jga doctor parhna..
Zubaida Apa ka Zabardast Totka

Shaista Wahidi: Mujhey bemari hai. Naa khaoon tu bhook lagti
hai,
Naa soun tu Neend aati hai, Zayada kaam ker k thak jaati
hoon. Zayada bolti hoon to moo mein dard hota hai
Zubaida Apa: Saari Raat Dhoop main betho Theek hojaogi.
Chaand ko gharoor hai ki uske paas noor hai, to kya hua.... Mujhe bhi garoor hai ki mera Dost Langoor hai!
Tum hoteen to aisa hota, tum hoteen to waisa hota, Tum is baat pe itna hasteen, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoteen, Tum is baat pe ye kehteen,tum uss baat pe wo kahateen,.....shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye, Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye, Aur humare dil se awaaz nikli...., Fiteh Moo...Tusi Ethe vi aa gaye ho !!!
Neend ati hai to khwab ata hai..
Khwab ata hai to larki ati hai..
Larki ati hai to pechay uss ka baap ata hai ..
Phir na larki ati hai na khwab ata hai...
samandar k kinare betha karo, koi na koi lehar to aye gi, qismat na badli to kaya hua, kam se kam SHAKAL hi dul jaye gi.
Ek bacha peda hote he nurse se bola: Cell phone hai kya?
Nurse: Hai lekin karoge kya?
Bacha: Kuch nahi woh bus GOD ko call karoon ga k mein khairiyat se pohanch gaya hoon
Is ko zara jaidi jaidi parho
HOW.
HOW..
HOW.. HOW.. HOW.. HOW..
HOW
HOW
HOW...
HOW
HOW... HOW HOW HOW
HOW HOW
ITNA NA BHONK0 LOG KYA KAHYGAY KUTTTAY KAHIN K.
Ek makhi ki halat bohot kharab thi woh doctor k pass gai,
Doctor: kiya hua?
Makhi: bus chai (tea) main gir gai thi, Peeney wale sahab ne choos choos ker halat kharab ker di.
Tum Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya Hain, Log Tumhian hi! Paagal Kahenge! Ha Ha Ha!
Two snakes sitting in the jungle, Female snake tried to kiss the male snake, Suddenly male snake turned and started singing, zeher hai k pyar hai tera chumma :)
@452 LAHAOLAWALAQUA ILLABILAH
BEQABU SADA SHAIR AY.....BAKI SAB HAIR PHAIR AY
beqabu 2 gud mindblowing subha subha mood acha kar ditta muwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
keep going dear beqabu yaaraaa
aik pathan k haan bacha paida huwa.Nurse ne bacha khan sab ko dikhaya to khan sab ne piyar se bacha god ma utha liya.thori der bad bachy ne susu ker dala to khan sab ne nurse se kaha:BAJI CHANGE KER DO,YE TO LEAK HOTA HA
hehehehehehehe hahahahahahahhahahahaha kya bakwas hey but achiu hey usuck khush hoa
bijli hoon mai bijli hoon
pakistan ki titli hoon
adha ghanta atti hoon
eight eight ghanta jati hoon
uppar phankha sota hai
nichay banda rota hai
banday ki jaan jati hai
bijli usko tarpati hai
bijli mai nirali hoon
bohat nakhray wali hoon
HAPPY LOADSHEDDING DAY
moombatti jala kay geo
kuch bewaqoof comments ki ek line parhtay hain
kuch bewaqoof 2 line parhtay hain
kuch bewaqoof adha comment parthay hain
tumnay toh bewaqoofi ki hadh ki kar di
ab tak parh rahay ho
aya tha imtehan mai mazboon husn par
parchay mai sab nay chehra mera bana diya
uffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
yeh class fellow bhi na first ayein hain saray
o level kay bachay minar-e-pakistan kay top pay:
wow man what a great cool view of the city
apnay school kay bachay:
oye nichay logooon pay thok phankain.
@jo 4u

aya tha imtehan mai mazboon husn par
parchay mai sab nay chehra mera bana diya
uffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
yeh class fellow bhi na first ayein hain saray
hahahahah goooooooood last ishu
thanku ji
so sweet
Jannat k derwazay pe 3 log kharay thay.
Farishta! sirf aik admi he ander ja sakhta hai.

1st:mein molvi hon sari umer deen ki khidmat ki hai janat pay mera haq hai.

2nd:mein doctor hon sari umer logon ki khidmat ki hai janat pay mera haq hai.

3rd:mein zardari k dor ka pakistani hoon or.....

Farishta:bass......... aage kuch mat bol paglay rulaayega kya?
chal andar ja.
A women gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says:" Thats the ugliest baby ,I've ever seen.ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down,fuming.
she says to a man next to her: the driver just insulted me!.
The man replies:You go right up there and tell him to apologize, I will hold your monkey for u.
1 khudkush hamla aawar nay bom,b ka batton dabaya but dhamaka nahi hua wo behosh ho gaya .
Hospital mein hosh aya to nurse ko dekhtay hi bola

Alhamdolilah

Baqi hoorain kahen hein?
1 admi doston ki mehfil say raat late ghar gaya....dostoon nay aglay din pocha kay wife nay kal khuch kaha to nahi.....
Admi bola nahi kuch khas nahi bus ye 2 dant to main wesay bhi nikalwane wala tha...
sardar apna result daikh kay........

kya???
Main fail ho gaya aur wo bhi english main?


unpossible...............
sardar :jab mere bachay hon gay to 1 ko karachi or 1 ko lahore chor aonga.

Dost : wo Q?
sardar: kal TV per bata rahay thy k bachon k darmayan gap bohat zarori hay.....
Is saal clocks 1 ghanta agay karnay k bajaye calender 1 saal agay kiyay jaenge kis ki mutabiq 2011 k baad 2013 ajayega.

Is say pakistan main pooray 1 saal ki bijli bachegi or jamhuri hukumat ka ek or wada poora hoga k 2012 main load shedding nahi hogi.

Massege by: Electrical engineer Asif zardari ,Bijli khappe khappe.
1 sardar nay job kay liya apply kia. jawab aya tu khushi main 1 grand party kar dali.
Doston nay fermaish ki kay appointment letter dikhao.

sardar (itraatay hue) :yeh english main hay ,main saat saat tarjuma b karta hon......

"Dear hari you do not meet"
pyaray hari ap tu miltey hi nahi.

"our requriement"
ap hamari zarorat ho.

"no further correspondence....."
or zid na kareen jaldi ajaen.

"will be entertained"
khub mazay kia karay gay.
gud
zabardast rider hahahaa
gudddddddddd
mera wala gud hmmmmmmmmmmm
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmOmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmh
thanks



ishu 4 u
urs bijli wala zabardast.............
@ishu aj tumne ghass gai ke nai,
kha li bohat mazay ki thi khuch tumharay liye rakhi hai ahh jaoo thuss lo
song changa hai
thanku rider ji
nae ishu abi dil nai ker rah bad me mil ke khahe gy.
thanku ishu ji
dafa ho bad mai sukh jai gi
acha taza hai tu bata phr moh mar lo ga?
cow
haan khoty
ishu tumhe kon si grass pasand hai
CHUHE KO LAGI BILLI GORI GORI
DONO MILNAY LAGAY CHORI CHORI
CHUHA BOLA AOO KHELAIN ANKH MACHOLI
BILLI CHUHE KO KHA KAR BOLI
SORRY I HATE LOVE STORY
1 paindoo ka gadha gum ho gaya, wo gadha dhond kr tang aa gaya to 1 darakht par ja betha.

us darakht k neechay 1 larka or ek larki aa kar beth gaye.

larka romantic mood mein larki se bola: tumahari ankhein itni khubsorat hain k mujhy in mein sara jahan nazar ata hai..

paindoo foran bola: yaar mera gadha to check kro kahan hai.. lolzzz
MAN: My Wife Died Yesterday, I Am Trying To Cry But Tears Are Not Coming Out What To Do?

FRIEND: No Problem Just Imagine She Is Coming Back!
Maine uska chehra thapar mar mar kr lal kardia q k osi ne mjhy kaha tha k...
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thappar se dar nai lagta sahib "pyar" se lgta hai...!
1 Bacha Dabang dekh kar aya..!

School mein sir: Tumhare saare ans galat hain marks dain to kahan?

Bacha: KAMAL KARTE HaiN MASTER JI...
MARKS HI TO MANG RAHE HAIN,
CHUP CHAP DE DO WARNA THAPAR MAAR K BHI LE SAKTE HAIN

Sir: Begairat

Bacha: BEGAIRAT SE YAAD AAYA,
AAP K PAPA KESE HAIN?

Sir: Nikal ja meri class se

Bacha: CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO
WARNA ANS SHEET ME ITNE CHED KARENGE K CONFUJE HO JAOGE K MARKS KAHAN DEN OR KAHAN ZERO DEIN!..
Wo konsi cheez he jo fridge me rakhne k bad b garam rahti he?

Nhi pata?
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?

Ans:

Garam Masala
Boy on Phone : I'll climb the tallest mountain, swim the deepest ocean, walk barefoot 0n hot coal just For u !



Girl: Can you come 2 meet me 2 day?



Boy: Abhi to Ammi nikalne nahi dengi bahir Dhoop bohat hay
Teacher! Btaen KHUSH FEHMI Kia H0ti Hy?


Student! Sir Piche Dekhen Miss Apko Bula Rhi Hy.


Sir Ne Dekha To K0i Nhn Tha.


Student: Sir YEHI CHEZ Khush Fehmi Hy
teacher: sardar se ye batao k barish k sath bijli kyun chamkti hai..


sardar g: oo is wastay k pata chal saky k keri keri jagah sukhi reh gae aey...
Sardar: i love u da ki matlab e?

Girl: main tum se pyar karti ho.

SArdar. aaj kal dian kuryan te bariyan be sharam ne 1 gal
da matlab ki pochya free he ho gayi
Santasingh appeared in an Examination.
apne saath ek helper ko legaya. Examiner ne
ne pooncha Santa G aap ye saath main
kisi mechanic ko kyon laye ho.?

Santa replied, Sir maine News paper main
read kiya ki Paper Leak hogaya isliye
main Plumber ( Pipe theek kerne wala) ko
saath laya huin.
good ishaan very nice jokes
thannku ji ajj mera khota gum ho gaya hehehe
Madam: Kamwali Bai se !!!.. Why didnt you come last week? And that too without informing me?

Kamwali Bai: I had updated my Facebook status as Will be out of town for a week... Sayeb knows about it.
He even commented on my status Come back soon... Already Missing you love!!"
haan realy aj wo aya hi nai
maybe bohot up set tha
A sardar je said 2 a girl.
"PLZ love me"
Girl said tumhain love kerny se pehly me mar na jaon.
Sardar said: Mar jana kisi ghreeb k kam na ana.
BOY :I Love U
Girl:Bhonk mat

BOY:I Will Die 4U
Girl:Bhonk mat

BOY:I Can't Live without U
Girl:Bhonk mat

BOY:I Will Send U EsyLod
Girl:Realy?
BOY:Bhonk mat;)
Sardar in Shadi Hall
Shadi Me Khana Khula
sardar Ko Plate Nhi Mili sardar Apni Jholi Me Khana Dalne Lga
Logon Ne Pocha Ye Kya
Srdar: Dagh To Chla JaeGa
Ye Wqt Phr Ni AeyGa.
One of the
Intelligent
Monkey
Mising
In
Zoo.!

Its name is..
is..
is..
is..
is.
is..
is!

Don't worry
It is not u,
beCos

It is intelligent.
Pathan : Jab hum chota tha to ham Minar-e-Pakisatan se gir gaya tha....

Doosra Pathan :Tum MER gaya tha ya bach gaya tha??????

Pathan : Hum ko yad nahi hum bohat chota tha!!!!!!!
India Ne Dhamki Di Hai Ke Agar PAKISTAN Final Main Pohancha To Usay India Main Khelne Nahi Dein ge
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Is Pe
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ALTAF BHAI Ne Elaan Kiya Hai ke

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Final TELEPHONE Pe Hoga :-) .
larki larky sy .....januu jub tum mujy miss karty ho to keya karty ho....?

larka ,,,,!jani main tumri favourt choclet khata hon,,


larka ..janiii jub tum mujy miss karti hi to keya kartii hoo??

larkii...! januu main tumin miss karti hon to tumry favourt 2 gold leaf ky segreet peetee honn...
Boy:I luv U
Tm dunya ki sbse khubsurat larki ho
girl:Acha pr tmhary peche mujh se b zyada haseen girl khri hy
boy mor k pechy dekhta hy pr waha koi ni hota
girl:Agr tm such me mjhse pyar krty tu kbi pechy na dekhty
I hate u.,

MORAL:
Moral woral kuch ni bs
larki zra tez nikli..

Per Picture abi baqi hy mere dost
Boy:chalo Jese tmhari mrzi,mgr ab ye diamond ring mai kisko dunga,
girl: LO !! Ab mai tm sy mazak B ni krskti...
Larki train mai baithi book parh rhi thi,
book ka name tha "THE MAN"

Peechey pathan baitha chupke se wo book parh rha tha.

Book mai likha tha k Brazil k mard bahut "CHARMING" aur Baloch mard bahut "HANDSOME" hote hain.
Kuch dair k baad larki ne peeche dekha aur pathan se uska name pocha.

Pathan:
"RONALDO BUGTI"
A paindoo man was died
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GOD said to him!
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Main tumhein Jannat doon ga!
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Paindoo ne kaha,
Nahin,

MAIN TA HONDA EE LAISAN
kia baat hai ishaan zabardast..........
thanku rider ji
comes more............. enjoy
Sardar: Dr. Sahib mjy bat bat pe gali deny aur foran hi bat bhol jany ki bemari hy.
Doctor: tumein ye bemari kab sy hy...???
Sardar: kehri bemari KANJRA...!!!
Interviewer tell me opposite of good

Int: come
sdr: go
Int:ugly
sdr:pichli
Int:ugly?
sdr: pichli
Int :shutup
sdr : keep talking
Int : get out
sdr :come in
Int : Oh my God
sdr : Oh my devil
Int : u r rejected
sdr : I m selected

Balley balley
soraj howa madham chand jalney laga
main thehra raha zameen chalney lagi
kiya ye mera pehla pehla piyar hai

sajnaa .... bewaqoof bhago ye piyaar nahi zalzala hai ab bhaag warna
@ishu good goood goooood gooooood goooooooood
LARKI LARKAY SAY:
AJJ TUM MUJHE AISAY PURPOSE KAROO JAISAY KABHI KISII NAY NA KIYA HO:

LARKA:
KAMINI ZALIL I LUV U
MUJHSAY SHADI KAR KAY MUJHE TABHA O BARBAD KAR DAY.
2 student cheating karne hi wale thay ke Teacher aa gaya or poocha: Tum se peeche wale larke ne abhi kya poocha?

Student:
Sir is ne poocha Japan ka capital kya hai..
Teacher:
to tum ne bata dia?

Student:
Nahi Sir.. Mene isko daanta tha ke abhi to tu ne mujhe Toka hai magar ab na "TOKYO"
pathan roz kitchen mein jata cheeni ka diba kholta or band kr deta.


u know why...?



kyun k docter ne kaha tha k apni SUGAR roz check kiya karo. hahaha
Sheikh Ko Apne Parosi Se
Maangne Ki Aadat Thi,

1 Bar Wo Apne Parosi
K Pas Gaya Or Bola:
...
Kia Apki (Car) Farig Ha?

Parosi Bola:Nahi Aaj Gari Pore Din Farigh Nahi Hogi,
Mujhe Bohat Se Kaam Hain.

SHEIKH:
Ye To Bohat Achi Bat Ha,
Mujhe Darasal Apki Bike Chahiye Thi"
"Geo Sheikh"
ek sardar apni bhabhi ko buhat maar raha tha

logo ne pucha: kia hua sardar ji?

sardar ji bola: meri bhabhi achi aurat nahin he ji.

logo ne pucha: q kia hua?

sardar bola: yaar dost mobile pe baat karte hain jis se bhi puchun,"kis se bat kar rahe ho?"sab bolte hein
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"TERI BHABHI SE"..........
SILENT Insult

Wife: Why Are You Back Home So Early?

Husband: At Office Boss Told Me,

..."GO TO HELL"..:-P
Sardar roti ka 1 tukra khud or 1 murgi ko khila raha tha.
Dost: ye kya kar rahe ho?

Sardar: hum khandani ameer log hain.

Roz chicken ke sath roti khate hain...
1. when in college : Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek din.....

2. when giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ....tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn....

3. waiting for interview result: Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki.. aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki...

4. just joined: Kese muje tu mil gayee qismat py ayee na...

5. after some time: Falak tak chal sath mere

6. After some more time: Ye Hum aagaye han Kahan??

7. floating the resume: kabootar ja ja ja... kabootar ja ja ja... pehele pyar ki peheli chitti...

8. finally when you don't get a better offer any longer: Jeena yehaan, marna yehaan iske siwa jaana kahaan...!!!
Mareez Dr. Say: Dr sahab mujhe door ka nazar nahi aata.
Docter: Wo asman per kia hai.

Mareez: Chand.
Dr: Abey is se door kia farishte dekhe ga ...
Boy : My Father's Name is Laughing and My Mother's Name is Smiling.

" Teacher : " You Must be Kidding..?

" Boy : "No I am Joking
pathan ki mangni hui
usy pata challa k us ki
mangeter ka kisi se koi affair nahi tha ?????
us ne ye kah ker mangni tor di
k jo kisi or ki nahi ho saki woh meri kya ho gi
aqal mand aur samaj daar admi jab koi khaas aur eham faisala karta hai tooo


apni ankhein band karta hai....
bohat sochta hai....

Apne dil ki sunta hai..
Apne dimagh koo istemal karta hai....



Aur akhir mein wohe karta hai jo?
?

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????
???


???
Uksi Biwi Kehti hai
Mother: Beta apne liye ik naik larki talash kro jo

Namazi
Perhezgar
Parde dar
Naik Serat ho

Beta: Maa ye to btao ky larki se shadi krni hai

ya


"DAMM" krwana hai?
Love Marriage Ka Matlab Apni GrlFrnd Ko Wife Bnana Arrange Marriage Ka Matlab?
SoChO?
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KiSi Or Ki Grlfrnd Ko WiFe Bnana.
(Rishta Wohi..Soch Nai
Teacher:
"Main Teri Jaan Nikal Dungi"
Iski English Kya Hogi.
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Student: English Ki Aisi Ki Taisi,
Tu Haath To Laga Ke Dikha..
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.

After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
Sardar Ek Baraf Ka Tukra Utha Ker Usey Ghour Se Dekh Raha Tha ...

Admi:- Kya Dekh Rahe Ho ???

Sardar:- Dekh Raha Hoon Key Yeh Leak Kahan Se Ker Raha Hai ....
1)Ek admi khara apnay kan ko chabi say zor sy khooja raha tha.
sardar nay dekha to bola:

PAA G, J TUSI START NAHI HOO RAYE TAY MEIN TAKKA LAWAN....
wHAT IS gIRL ??

the one and only Who

did

facial
bleaching
thredaing
curling HAirs
applying
eye shadow
MAskara
Lipstick
Face powder
Nail Paint

and then sAid to everybody
"yar jaldi jaldi mein aesy hi aa gaye hoon kch b nahi kr sky"
Pathan English kay papaer main fail ho gaya,.

Translation ki wajah sey

1. Main ek aam admi hon
( I AM A MANGO MAN)

2. Mujhe English aati hai
(English comes to Me)

3. Mera Taluk Haripur Hazara sey Hai
(I belong to Green pur Thousanda)

4. Sarak per goliyan chal rahi hain
(Tablets r walking on the roads)
Sardar learning english
A Sardar Learning English in this way.

A:
Apple

B
Bara Apple

C:
Chota Apple

D:
Doosra Apple

E:
Ek hor Apple

F:
Fer Apple

G:
Ganda Apple

H
Haraa Apple

I
India Da Apple

J
Jay'pur Da Apple

K
Kharaab Apple

L
Laal Apple

M
Mitha Apple

N
Nawan Apple

O
Oooo...! Apple

P
Paka Hya Apple

Q
Queta Da Apple

R
Rall Mil K Khaan Aala Apple

S
Saada Apple

T
Taqatwar Apple

U
Unna Da Apple

V
Veer Da Apple

W
Wadda Apple

X
X-Max Da Apple

Y
Yar Da Apple

Z
Zindabad Apple
Master jee apne student se.....

Koi Aashiqui wala shair sunao ?

Student:

Mota Marta Moti Pe
Bhooka marta Roti Pe
Master jee ki 2 betiyaan
Main to Marta Choti Pe
Ek larki chali ja rahi thi.
Ek larkay ne awaz di o deewani sun
tera dupata zameen say ghaseeta jar aha hai.
Larki boli o deewanay tu kia janay?
Ye bhi apna farz nibha raha hay
...koi choom na lay meray qadmoo ki mitti ko
isi liye nishaan mitata ja raha hai.
Mujhy raat bhar ye baat sone nahi deti ''Faraz''
Zindgi 4 din ki hai to Test Match 5 din ka kaise?
Is tanhai main bohat dum ghut~ta hai Faraz!
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Na jany kon Kameena Bathroom ki kundi laga gaya
Kon kehta hai keh mehboob mera langra hai Faraz....
Aray wo tu mere ishq me jhoom jhoom kar chalta hai
oun baarishon se dosti achi nahin "faraz"
ghar main pani bhar geya tu tera baap nikale ga...
aik sardar apni jaib may pathar daley ghom raha tha....

kisi ne poucha:aisa kyun kar rage ho???

sardar : is duniya men usi ki qadar hoti hy jis ki jaib bhari hoti hy.....
Some translations in Punjabi:

Yo baby! Wassup?

Ve kaka, a uttey ki tangeya va?

Listen buddy, dat chick is mine!

O bhaoo, o nikki kukree meri aa !
Pathan asked:

teacher if black is a color
& white is also a color

then y black & white t.v is not a color t.v?

teacher shocked

pathan rocked
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hu
Cheeku Qabristan mein chars pi raha tha. Police aa gayi to cheeku ne chars chhupa di.
Police: "Kia kar rahay ho?"
Cheeku: "kuch nahi, apnay waalid k liye dua kar rha tha."
Police: "ye to kisi bachay ki qabar hay."
Cheeku: "wo, mere waalid sahab bachpan mein hi mar gaye thay.
Dulha apne dost se: "Mujhe shadi mein Susral walon ki taraf se BMW mili hay."
Friend: " Wah, kia bat hay. tu to bara lucky hay."
Dulha: "Oye yaar, BMW means Bohat Moti Bivi."
Q - what's the definition of women?
Ans - someone who talks for hours
while standing at the door
but won't sit
because of lack of time !!
Girl: i hav changd my mind.
Boy: thank God! does new 1 works better?
What would happen if women ruled the world?

There would be no wars.
Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other... ;->
Cheeku: Yar mein nay apni girl-friend ko gift dena hay, kia dun?"
pappu :"Gold ki Ring day day."
Cheeku: "koi bari cheez bata yaar."
Pappu: "Tractor ka Tyre day day phir."
Film Star MEERA's Poetry,

Rok to loon these eyes ko tujhe Looknay se Meera,
But is heart ka what karun jo beat'ta hay just tere lye
(Aff Cooourse)
ek aadmi hi aadmi ki nature samajh sakta hay.
Costumer: "mujhe ek ladies suit chahiye.'
Salesman: "begam k lye chahiye ya koi achha sa dikhaun?"
Friend : Sardar ge set nawa lita?
Sardar L apni kzn ka chukiya ae.
Friend : O kyun ?
Sardar : yaar oh jadun v mildi c kehndi c
"tu meri fone Q nahi Chukda ?
Sardar 2 frnd : yaar yh joray kaha banty hy?
Frnd : Aasman per...
Sardar: abhy **** yar..
...
Frnd: kia hua?
Sardar : mei to darzi ko dy aya :.
Wife Husband Se : Woh dekho larka mujhe smile de raha hai....



Husband : Smile nahi de raha...... jab maine tumhe pehli baar dekha tha to mere bhi hansi nikal gaye thii.....
AIk MUHABBT hi nai Dunya may dard ka sbub ay*DOst*


Drwazy wch ungli aa jaye tay OO VV bri Drd kr di ay.
Can u translate the following in Urdu?
Sun+Lion+1/4 kg

Sochen

Nai pta?

Plz try kren

Aftab Sher Pao
Jang me Pathan ne bullet proof jacket ki jaga Macher dani pehan rakhi thi.
Pocho: kyon?

Pathan: Jis me macher nahi ghus sakta us me goli kesey ghuse ga.
2 twins apny kmry me bethy thy.

1 hans hans k loot poot ho raha tha,

2nd udaas kony me betha tha......

Baap:tm itna q hans rhy ho?

Beta: mumy ne dono bar isi ko nehla dia:-
If chemist became film producers,
the title would be something like this
.
Kabhi Ethane Kabhi Methane...


Main Carbon Ki Deewani Hoon...


Oxygen Walay Hydrogen Le Jayenge...


Hum Solution Bana Chukey Sanam....


Hamara Grignard Reagent Aapke Paas Hai...


Kyun? Melt Ho Gaya Naa....


Mai Ne Spectrometer Kyun Liya...


3 Isomers....


My Name Is Electrophile And I Am Not A Nucleophile....


Muje Se Co-ordinate Covalent Bonding Karogi....
How To Kill A Girl... ?

Give her a Beautiful Dress

Nice Jewelery

Costly Cosmetics.

Then lock her in a Room without a Mirror.



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soch soch k hi mar jaigi k kesi lag rhi hun
Bewafa Tum Ho To Wafadaar Hum Bhi Nahi,
Besharam Tum Ho To Sharmile Hum Bhi Nahi,

Pyaar Ke Is Mode Par Aake Kehte Ho Shadishuda Ho
To Kya Hua Darling, Kunware Hum Bhi Nahin!


Wuhahahahhaha Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzz
A Real Cutie One

Girl: Y Do U Always
Follow Me Around ? ?
Boy: Well , Because
...When I Was A Kid ,
My Mom Told Me To
Follow Ur Dreams
1 Class Ka Bacha Apni Miss Se kehta he Me Aapko kesa lgta hon.

Miss: So Sweet.

Bacha:To phr me apne ammi abbu ko ap k ghar kab bhejn.
......
Miss: Wo q?
.
Bacha: Take wo hamari bat aage chlaaen.

Miss: Ye kya bakwas hy.
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Bacha:
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Tution parhne k lye.
Miss ap b na Qasam se Cable Dekh dekh k Kharab ho gai hain..
Pathan ki qabar main pehli raat 62 farishtay aaye...
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2 farishtay sawal pooch rahe thay or baqi ke 60 pathan ko sawal samjha rahe thay
Pathan Interview Dene Gaya Office k gate per ja k bola:
May I come In Sir ?
OFICER: Wait Plz

Pathan: 80 KG
Newton: How to write 4 in Between 5?

China: Joke!
Japan: Impossible!
USA: Wrong Question!
India: Don't ask foolish question!
UK: Not Interested:!
Pakistani: F(IV)E.....
Pakistani Rocksssssssss
CHotta bacha dukaandaar se : Uncle rung goraa karne wali cream hai?
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Dukaandaar: Haan hai
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Kid: tu lagate kyun nahi hain?
...... may roz darr jata hun
Sardar amrood bech raha tha

1 admi aaya or bola, Sardar g ager amood mein kira nikla to?

Sardar: To saaf baat hai... hum kirey k alag paise lega...
Pathan galti se samunder me gir gaya.... Doobte doobte uske hath me machli aayi....use pakad kar bahar pheka aur bola Ja tu toh apni jan
bacha le.
HAPPY HOME RECIPE

4 Cups of Love
2 Cups of Loyality
5 Quarts of Faith
2 Table spoons of tenderness
1 Cup of kindness
5 Cups of Understanding
3 Cups Forgiveness
1 Cup Friendship
5 Tea spoons of Hopes
1 Barrel Laughter

Take love and loyalty; mix throughly
Blend with tenderness, kindness,
Understanding and forgiveness.
Add Friendship and hope; sprinkle
abundantly with Laughter. Bake with
Sunshine. Serve with generous helping.
Sardion Ki Sham Thi Usne mere Hath Pe Hath Rakha to me Garam tha
usne Kaha Garam Hath Wafa Ki nishani Hoti Hai
Mai Ne Hans Kr Kaha.

"Kameeni bukhar hai mjhe"
@JO 4U

Har Khubsurat Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Muskurana Meri Thi Bimari,
Har Ladki Ko Mein Pata Leta Tha Itni Thi Mujh Mein Hoshiyari,
Ek Din Kisi Ladki Ka Pura Parivar Mujhe Peetne Chala Aaya,,
Woh Ladki Nahi Thi Kunwari Jisse Maine Aankh Thi Maari.
Wo ankh bohaat pyari thi jo humne usko mari thi
Wo ankh bohaat pyari thi jo humne usko mari thi -- Wo joti bohaat bhari thi jo usne humko mari thi
Hum tu muft mein pit gaye Galib--- humein tu ankhoon ki bemaari thi
Faraz in Arabic

ZARDARI UN-hukmaara nun Azaabun fee insaana fasa dun FARAAAAAZ..
Aata-tunn
Bijli-sunn
......Petrol-gumm
Bhum Bhum Damakatun
kuttun
kamenun...
1st girl: Aaj kal ke larkon ka koi aitbaar nai, main to ab sunny ka moo bhi nahi dekhon gi.

2nd: Kyun kya hua tum ne usay kisi or larki ke sath dekh lia?

1st: Nahi us ne mujhe kisi or larkay ke sath dekh lia hai halan ke woh kal keh raha tha ke wo lahore ja raha hai. Jhoota, dhokay baaz, farebi. :D
Is Qadar toot k chaha hai k koi hisab nahi

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Hai koi hisab? Khud dekh lo!...:D
MATHS Teacher To Our Brilliant Sardar-
How Can U Distribute 8 Apples Among 6 People Equally?

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Sardar- Juice Bana K De Do Na Madam...
aik sardar jab bhi kapre dhota tu bahut zor zor ki barish shuru ho jaati..
aik din bahut dhoop nili hoi thi........
or uss ne shukar kiya or dukan sey SURF leny chala geya.....
jab dukan mein entar howa tu,
,,BADAL.,,bahut zor se garja......
tu sardar ne badal se kaha..
,,,KITHEY?????
mein tu nimko lain aya wan,,,,,,,,
RAILWAY JOB INTERVIEW Officer: Tumhein pata chale k 2 train ek hi track pe aamney samney se aa rahi hain to tum kya karoge?
Sardar:Main kanta badal doonga.
Officer:Agar na badal sako?
Sardar:Main Red signal doonga.
Officer:Light na ho to?
Sardar:Main Red jhanda dikha doonga.
Officer:Jhanda b na mila to?
Sardar:Main Chotay Bhai ko bula longa.
Officer:Kyun?
Sardar: Ohnu traina di takkar wekhn da bara shoq ay...
1 admi ne 1 Buddhi Amma k pas Bomb rkh diya,
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Log chilaye
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Amma Bomb hai
.......
Amma Bomb hai
.
wo shrma kr Boli:
Bomb tu ab hoi hun,,,, Jawani me tu pataka thi pataka
Din be Maza.....

Ratain be Sur....

Her Pal be.chaini......

Mai ny pocha dil sy kya mujhy Pyar hua hai.....



Dil ne kaha


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" Na PUTTAR na, ae final exam day jhatkay nay
Hisab (math) ke ustaad parha rehy the aik sagird ne ustaad se kaha.
"angrezi wale ustaad angrezi main baat karte hain'urdu wale urdu main'farsi
wale farsi main.magar ap hamare sath hisab main baat kune nahi
karte?
itne main Ghanti baj gai.
Ustaad bole:
"ab zyada teen panch(3,5) mat karo or no
do gyara(9,2,11) ho jao"
Teacher 2 Sardar

"Thand" ko Jumlay main Istamal karoo...

Sardar: Tusi sanu sabak parah ditta sady pally pavy na pavy...

tanu te THAND py gai na....
Pathan bagair chilka utare kela kha raha tha.......
Aadmi: Chilka to utaar lo.
Pathan: Chilka utarne ki kia zarorat hai, hum ko pata hai is mein kela hi hota hai
Doctor: ab to aap khatre se bahar hain to phir ap itna dar kiun rahe hain?

Pathan:Jis truck se mera accident hua tha us par likha tha "Zindagi rahi to phir milenge"
Dulha: Aaj se tum meri Zeenat ho,
Tabasum ho,
Tamanna ho...
......
Dulhan: sharma k, Aaj se aap he mere Sajid ho,
Tariq ho,
Imran ho

dulha shocks ........dulhan rocks
Boy: Bus Or Larki Eik Jesi Hoti Hai Ek jati Hey to Doosri Aa Jati Hay....

Girl: Rakhshay or boys Ek jese Hote Hain Ek ko Awaz Do to 4 aa Jate HAin
Girl: Mujhe kiun dekh rahe ho?Tumhari koi behan nahi hai kiya?
Boy: Hai isi liye tu dekh raha hon
Girl: Kiun?
Boy: Meri behan ko Bhabi chahiye......
Student: main fail hona chahta hoon

friend: kyoon??

student: papa ne kaha hai k 1st aya to science dilwaonga
2nd aya to arts
aur agar fail hua to shadi ker dain gay.........
Faraz ghurbat se tang aa kar Daku Ban gaya

Daketi karne 1 bank gaya or kaha

Arz kiya hai

Taqdir me jo hai wohi Milega,

HandsUp, koi apni jaga se ni Hilega
@ishu abe kia sare kaam dhande chor ke betha hua ha,thora sa time kisi or ko bi de dy?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lets thinking
SANTA: "I Love U" Means Kya Hota Hai?
GIRL: Mai Tumse Pyar Karti Hun
SANTA: Le 1 Question Kya Pucha,
Tu To Mujse Pyar Kar Baithi "Pagli"
bohat hai kay aur chahiyeh?????????
both hain chal 1 kam ker ab thora aram ker or grass kah ke a ja thak gaya ha na subah se joke likh likh ker,itne tak me perh lon ga,
yeh 1 hour mai likhay hai sara din nai khotay.ek joke tere liye bhi hai bilkul set tere pay hahahhaa
kahan hai jiger?
joke no batao
@JO 4U

Har Khubsurat Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Muskurana Meri Thi Bimari,
Har Ladki Ko Mein Pata Leta Tha Itni Thi Mujh Mein Hoshiyari,
Ek Din Kisi Ladki Ka Pura Parivar Mujhe Peetne Chala Aaya,,
Woh Ladki Nahi Thi Kunwari Jisse Maine Aankh Thi Maari.
dil ,gurday ,phapharay, pittay nazar aya.
@ishu lol kunwari larki wala
Pathaan Teacher :

Qayamat ke Din zameen phat jaeygi... aaasmaan ke tukre hojainge...

Sardar Student:

to usdin college mai Chutti hogi ?

Pathaan Teacher :

Ham ko Pta Nai ,Notice Board per lage ga to pata lage ga.
Girls Prayer before marriage,


Saas Changi hovay,.
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Ya udi tasveer Deewar ty tangi hovay
Wh0 R B0iz?

J0 Marne K Baad

Dauzhak Me Bhi Kehte Hein
...
Yamraj Ki Bachi Dekh Mama

Patakha Hai Patakha Yaarrrrrrr!!!

N

Wh0 R Galz?

Wh0 G0ez T0 Heaven

N Sayz:

Apsara Ki Nail P0lish Dekhi

Huh H0w Cheap...:D:D
Kid to his mom

kid: mama main kaise paida hua

Mom: maine ek vessel main mitti dal kr rakh di, kuch din baad usme se tum mile mujh
...
Kid did the same thing
jab kuch din baad usne jaa kr dekha toh usme 1 mendak tha...

Kid: gussey se, dil toh karta hai k tujhe goli maar du

par kya karu..aulad hai tu meri..
Teacher;
Homework Kiun Nhi Kiya?
Stdnt;
Sir,Light Nhi Thi
Teachr;
To Mom Batti Jala Lete
Student;
Sir,Maachis Nhi Thi
Teachr;
Machis Kiun Nai Thi
Student;
Pooja Ghar Me Rkhi Thi.
Teachr;
To Wahan Se Le Aate
Student;
Nahaya Hua Nhi Tha
Teachr;
Nahaye Kiun Nhi Thy
Student;
Pani Nhi Tha Sir
Teachr;
Pani Kiun Nhi Tha?
Student;
Sir Motor Nhi Chal Rahi Thi.
Teachr;
Ullu K Pathy Motor Kiun Nai Chal Rahi Thi ?
Student;
Sir Bataya To Hy Light Nhi Thi...
Always Speak The Truth!

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And Run Immediately After Speaking It!! :
gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood
Last night some Monkeys came running to my room. They wanted to trouble good people... I suggested ur name. They said Oh!!! No we cant disturb our Boss"
Teacher 2 student: Active voice passive voice ka example btao??

Student: active voice. Tere mast mast do nain, mere dil ka ly gaye chain
Passive voice. Mere dil ka ly gaye chain, tere mast mast do nain;-)
Life is like a MOVIE... If u r sad - DRAMA If u r afraid - SUSPENSE If u r angry - ACTION When u Luk at the mirror - HORROR
Computer Teacher to sardar: What are the 3 latest version`s of Java? Sardar reply: 1) Marr Java 2) Mitt Java 3) Lutt Java...
Sardar was helping his son in filling admission form SON Papa ye ´mother tongue´ waly box me kia likhna hy? SARDAR Likh de puttar ´Very Long´
Sardar attended bio practical exam. Examiner: Tell the bird name by seeing leg. Sardar: I dont know. Examiner: u fail. Whats ur name ? Sardar:See my leg & tell.
zabardast eqra 2 gud
Teacher: What has four legs abut can not walk.

Sardarsingh: Sir " A Table"
SANTA- Tum 1 bar me kitne admi utha skte ho?
PAHLWAN- kam se kam 15
SNTA- Dhat tumse acha to mera murga h jo subah pure muhalle ko utha deta he.
wife: jab aap ny pehli baar mujhy deekha tha to aap ko kaisa laga tha.



Husband:qasam sy main mar jata ager Aayat.ul.qursi yad na hoti.
Pathan 60th Birthday

Friend: Ye Cake Pe bulb Q lagaya hai


Pathan: 60 Candleslagane Me Mushkil ho Rahi thi,

Is liye 60 Watt ka Bulb laga diya.
maiN raat bher yea khara reh keh soochta hooN Faraz
keh beth keh soochooN ga tu kiya mout aajaye gi??
Pathan ke wife :
aaj mainay special khana bnaya hy jise khaa kr aap khushe se pagal ho jaye gy

Pathan :

aisa keya pakaya hy ?

Wife :

Naswar Gosht......
Shadi ki pehli raat dulha kamre me aty howe chair se takra kay gir gaya

Dulhan: (ghabratay huway)
.........Aray Aray shahid bhai aaraam se

Moral:
Aur karo khandan mein shadi
Air hostess: Sir kya loge?
Sardar: Milk Badam, Kheer, Bread Pakora n Tandoori Chicken wid Naan.
Airhostess: Sir tusi jahaaz te aaye ho,
Apne PYO DE VYAAH te nhi!
Gabbar:Ye haath mujhe de de Thakur!
Thakur: Le le mere haath Basanti Veeru aur Jay k bhi haath le le.....Octopus ban ja !
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Gabbar:Sorry yar, tu to mind kar gaya
Aik Pakistani ne aaj Paani mein 60 minute tak Saans Rokney ka World Record Bana liya hai
^_Pakistan_^
Zindabaad

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Namaz-e-Janaza Kal Ho gi
1 pathan pe bijli ka taar gir gaya

pathan tarap tarap k marne hi wala tha

k.

use yad aya

k.

bijli t0 2 din se band hy...l0lx....
Faqeer to Memon: Allah ke nam pe kuch de do baba
Memon: Cycle pe beth jao ek round de deta hun
Pakistan k 4 barray problems:
1. Load sheding
2. Mehengaai
3. Dhamaky
aur
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Nojawano ko har haftay hony wala SACHA PYAR.
After an emotional hug,

Girl whispers to Boy: "If u hug me once more like that, i will be urs forever"



Boy: THANKS FOR THE WARNING..!
@jo specially 4 u

Teacher: Tm bary ho k kya kroge?
Student: shadi
...T: mera matlab h kya banoge?
S: dulha
T: i mean bary ho k kya hasil kroge?
S: dulhan
T: IDIOT mera matlb bry ho k ami abu k lye kya kroge?
S: bahu launga
T: stupid tumary papa tmse kya chahty h?
S: pota
T: ya Allah, tmri zndgi ka kya maqsad h?
S: shaadi..
JIN: Kya hukam hai?
INSAN:Mere ghar se America tak road bana
...
JIN:Bohat mushkil,Koi aur kaam batao
INSAN:Meri BV ko mery Frmabrdar krdo
JIN:Road single bnana ha ya Double?
Biwi (shohar se): Mai ghar chor kar ja rahi hun.

Shohar(ghusse se): Jaan choro.

Biwi: Yeh aap ki Jaan kehne ki aadat bhi naa mujhe hamesha rok leti hai....
Teacher 2 Sardar Ji: What Is Ur Father Name?

Sardar Ji:
"Google Singh"

Teacher: Why too Strange?

Sardar Ji: Saala
Hr Waqt Mujhay Dhondta Jo Rehta Hai....
Teacher: is ki english karo,
"IDHER AAOO BETA"
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Sardar:

"COM PUTER"
ROFL @ chooza etikaaf... LOL...
OMG, LOL... hahahha. Some of them are too funny, ishaan, they made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing.
thanku ji
Faraz achanak larki ko dekh ke bola

Lafz tere, geet mere ghazal koi sunaun kia ?

Girl: haath mere gaal tere, kaan ke nichay bajaun kia !!
How to kill a boy?

lock him in a room

and

give him a cell phone having girls phone numbers


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without balane

tarap tarap k marr jaye ga
Pathan Darakht Pe Charha
To Upar Bandar Ne Pocha:

Upar Q Aye?

Pathan: Amrood Khane.

Bandar: Abe Yeh To Aam Ka Darakht Hai.

Pathan:

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Hum Amrood Sath Laya Hai.:-)
Girl : Main Kisi Or Se shadi kr rhi hn
Mjhe Bhul Jao,

Pathan: Na Tere Aaney ki khushi

Na tere jaaney ka Gum

Ja Meri Behan Ja Aj Se Tera Kissa Bhi Khatam.
If you want to remove your Wrinkles, Pimples, Acne, Black Heads and any signs of Burnns from your Skin..............
Just Try.
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"ADOBE PHOTOSHOP".
American: Can U swim?
PAKISTANI: No
American: Dog is Better den u
......
bcz It Swims
PAKISTANI: Can u swim?
American: Yes
PAKISTANI: then whats the Difference between u & Dog.
:-D
American Shocks , Pakistani Rocks !!!!
1 smile = 1 friendship
1 friendship = 1 love
1 love = 1 proposal
1 proposal = 1 marriage
And 1 marriage = THOUSANDS of problem.
so better think before you smile
Think Big.
Think Positive.
Think Smart.
Think Beautiful.
Think Great.
I know, that is too much for u,
so here is a shortcut.
JUST THINK ABOUT ME!
Pathan halwai se:tum kitne

saal se jalebi bana rahay ho?

Halwai baray fakhar se:30 saal se.

Pathan:laanat hai,tum se aaj tak

jalebi seedhi nahin bani.
Sardar Ji and Computer


Sardar: Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?

Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.
1 angrez pakistan urdu seekhny gya aur finally wo sirf 2 lines seekh paya..

1: ALLAH KA shukar hy aa gai.

2: is ki maa ki, phir chali gai:-)
Sardar ka Padosi Mar Gaya:

Wo Uske Ghar Gaya or Pucha: Body Aa Gai Kya?

Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi.


Sardar: Lo Batao,


Kitni Lambi Umar Hai. :-)
*Sardar: Beta 2 bistar kiun lagay?

Son: Ghr pe 2 guest ane hn.
Sardar: Kon?
Son: Ami ka bhai or mera Mamo

Sardar: Phr 1 or lga , mera sala bi a rha hai..:-)
now Eqra and @ishu cooooooooooooooooooooooooool jokes,soooooooooooooooooooooooooper
zahe naseeb jahan pannah
Child: Abu jb ap faiL hojate thaY to dada ap k sath kya slook krty the?

Abu: Wo Meri khoob petai karty the

Child: 0r jb dada faiL ho jate tu?

Abu: To un k walid unki petai karty the

Child: Abu main b exam main fail ho gya hon agr ap mery sath muzakrat krain to ye khandani dehshat gardi khatam ho sakti hai.
3 Admi hajj nhi kr skte

1.Zardari

Q. k phr kankar kise marenge

2.Altaf bhai

Q. k telephonic haj nhi hota

3.Nawaz sharif

Q. k wo apne 1 milion k Baal nhi katwae ga
.Lo G sun Lo

University of Lahore Girls hostle men 1 girl boy k sath bathrom me nhate huy pakri gai

Us boy ka nam hy

LIFE B0Y

Ap ki soch ko salam.!!!
Pathan apne Bap se : mjhe shadi krni hy

Abbu: beta kis k sath?

Pathan: Dadi k sath

Abbu : Begherat wo meri Maa hy

Pathan: to ap ny meri Maa k sath q ki.
Pathan: Mujhe Raat Bhar Neend Nahi Aai.


Sardar: Q?

Pathan: Kyo Ki Kal Raat Bhar Neend Mein
Yahi Sapna Dekhta Raha K Main


Jaag Raha Hun.
@jo mast joke
@ishu bus dil ker raha tha mast hone ko,or kerne ko


@jo lo mast ho


@jo
ye kya tarika aya hua ha....iphone ki app ko use ker k itni zyada uploading...ik bar to mza ata ha magr bar bar wohi cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez
coooooooooooooooooooooooooool
hehehehehhe
kiya karen ishu ke kaam dhande ka time huta ha na?
Ek pathan ke sar main chot lag gayi...

Nurse: Is main 7 Tanke Lagen Ge...

Pathan: Kitna Kharcha hoga ?

Nurse: 3000 Rs...

Pathan: Tanka Lagwana hai Baji Karhaai nahi karwani
What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?

A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.
Teacher: Zmeen aur chand ka
apas main kia rishta hai?
Pathan: bhai behan ka

Techer: Wo kaisay?

Pathan: Q k log chand ko mamu
Aur zameen ko maa kehtay hain
Aj Titanic ki 98th anivrsry hay.

So plz sab pyar karne walon se request hay k,

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"DOOB
kar mar jaayen
DEVDAS Of 2010..

Maa Ne Kaha FaceBook Chor Do!
Abba Ne Kaha Night Package Chor Do!
Doston Ne Kaha Mobile Se Balance Churana Chor Do!
Paaro Ne Kaha Dew Peena Chor Do!......
...Aur Aik Din Aayega Jab Girlfrnds K Bachey Bolengey..
Maamu Ab To Hamari Ammi Ka Peecha Chor Do!..:
Girlfriend Ke Aansu Aur Boyfriend Ke Aansu Mein Kya Fark Hai?

Girlfriend Ke Aansu Farmaish Puri Karwane Ke Liye Nikalte Hain

Jab Kay
...
Boyfriend Ke Aasu Unhe Pura Karte Karte Nikalte Hain
Aik Larkey nay chinese larki say shadi ki

lakri aik saal bad mar gaye

Larka bht roo raha tha

Aik pathan dilasa dety howey bola

Honsla kroo yaar.!! Bs yaar china ka maal itna hi chalat hai
"Mohabbat" k Raste Mein Har Waqt Dard Mile Ga...................!


Mein soch raha hon..........
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Isi Raste Par MEDICAL STORE Khol Lon
Bohot Chale Ga.
Itna Na Yaad Aaya Karo K Raat Bhar So Na Sakain,

Faraz...

Dopehar 2 Baje Ankh Khulti Hai...
To Ghar Wale Naashta Nahi Dete.
pathan 2 doctor:

pure jism par kahin bhi ungli lagata hun to bht dard hota hai.

dr: ny full body x-ray likh diya.

x-ray report

ungli mein fracture.
once a mosquito falls in love with a hen
one day they kissed each other
hen dies of malaria
and mosquito dies of bird-flu
MORAL : MOHABBTAN SACHIYAN
memon: ye bakra kitny ka hai.

aadmi: 38,000 ka


memom: heran ho kar


touch screen wala hai kiya.?
bohot achay jokes hen @ishan
@ishu ate he par gaya jokes me tu?
thanku aneesa ji
@jo kabhi tu bhi likh diya kar jokes
1 Admi ne Hotel k Room mai Computer dekha to socha k BV ko mail kr doon

jaldi mai mail Ghalat Addres pr Send hogaee
Jis Orat ko mili us k Shohar ka 2 din pehle inteqal hua tha
Mail Parhte hi Orat BeHosh hoGaee
Likha tha
Begum Me Kheriyat se Pohanch Gya hoon
Idhar Net b Mojud he
Jaga Choti Pr Shandar Hai
Thandi Thandi Hawa Jannat Ka Maza Deti Hai
Dhool Matti Nhi Hai
Mene Jo White Kaprre Pehne The Wo Ab Tk White Hi Hain
Kal hi Tmhe bhi bulwa Lunga
Inshallah
1 Admi ne Hotel k Room mai Computer dekha to socha k BV ko mail kr doon
jaldi mai mail Ghalat Addres pr Send hogaee
Jis Orat ko mili us k Shohar ka 2 din pehle inteqal hua tha
Mail Parhte hi Orat BeHosh hoGaee
Likha tha
Begum Me Kheriyat se Pohanch Gya hoon
Idhar Net b Mojud he
Jaga Choti Pr Shandar Hai
Thandi Thandi Hawa Jannat Ka Maza Deti Hai
Dhool Matti Nhi Hai
Mene Jo White Kaprre Pehne The Wo Ab Tk White Hi Hain
Kal hi Tmhe bhi bulwa Lunga
Inshallah
waise good jaokes u sooooo coooooooooooooooool
1 chooha sharab k glass me doob gaya, Wahan se bili guzar rahi thi

chooha bola mujhay nikalo
baad me kha lena

bili ne glass ko kick maari, chooha bahar aa kar bhag gaya aur apnay ghar k darwazay k bahar ruk gaya

bili ne awaz di k dhoka diya, apnay waday se hat gaye,

chooha bola! Us time mai nashay mai tha
A chinese was in hospital.
A pathan went to see him
chinese said''chinh chang mu chu cha'' and died.
Pathan went china to ask meaning.it was.
''kaminay oxygen k pipe se pair hata..........
A Punjabi woman talking 2 an English doctor in LONDON
about her ill child..
"My kaka is ill ek week da,
Na eat da na sleep da,
bas weep da tey cheekda..
Teacher : Agar tumhari aik Pocket me 500 Rs ho aur doosri mein
1000, to tum kya Sochogay ?
Santa: Yahi k mene kisi aur ki Paint pehen li hai
Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?
Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi
"Bus mein latak ke safar kerne walon.................

"Light ke beghair rehne walon...............

"Kam paison mein zayda kaam kerne walon.........

"Dahshat gardi bardasht karne walon.........

"Stike mein ghar bethne walon......................

"Har cheez per extra tax dene walon....................

"Rs 33 petrol Rs 70 mein khareedne walon......

"Sailab mein dia hua samaan dobara market se khareedne walon...

"Sheher ki light ka bill apne ghar se dene walon........

"Pakistan mein reh ke America ka gunn gane walon...

:Aik mulk mein do eid manane walon..............
:
:
:
:
:
"Pepsi phir 70 ki ho gai hai"...............
Kid: DAD Apko Pata Chale K Me 1st Division Pas Hua
To Apko Kesa Lage Ga?

DAD:
Me To KHUSHI SE PAGAL Ho Jaunga.

KID:

Bussss...

Isi DAR Se Me FAIL Hogya.
Usny jo shair mara to wah wah ho gai


Wah wah wah


Usny jo shair mara to wah wah hogai


Hm ny jo shair mara to sherni bevah hogai
Insaan ka sab se ziyada dil kab jalta hay???
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Jab aap original Nokia ka mobile le kar behte hon aor koi aa kar kahe.....

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China Hy????
Memon ki bivi:
"Bas Bhi karo ye tea bag tum 18 dafa istemal kar chukay ho"

Memon:
"Kardi Na Jahilo Wali Baat Ismein Expiry Date 2011 Likhi Hai"
Sardar karelay kharidne gaya.

sabzi wala karelon pe pani chirak raha tha

jab kafi dair ho gayie tou sardar ghusay se bola:

"jab in ko hosh ajaye tou ak kilo tol dena".
"Teri zulfon mein kho jana chahta hon.................

WAh.........WAH

Teri zulfon mein kho jana chahta hon.................

Wah Ji.........

Par tu "Tail" hi itna lagati hai k phisal jata hon......"
Ek Aadmi Aadhi Raat Ko Qabar Per Betha Tha.

Musafir Ne Pucha=
Darr Nai Lagta?

Aadmi=Lo
Is Mey Darne Ki Kya Baat Hy.

Andar Garmi Thi Is Liye Bahir Betha Hun:-)
Newtons Law Of Studentology:

"Every Book Continues to be in it's state of rest,
or covered by dust..
until and unless some kind of exam appears"
GEO Breaking News.

Karachi Mai Aaj Baraf Giri.

"Or ab Khabrein Tafseel k sath"

Ek Aadmi Cycle Pe Baraf le Kar Ja Raha tha k Achanak Shopper Phatny Se Baraf Gir gai.

..GEO NEWS..

Baat ka Batangarr bana K Geo.
Teacher To Sardar:- Your son is a fool, Check his report


English: 9
Math: 11
Social Study: 8
General Science: 7
Total:- 35


Sardar:- Lo Jee Total Wech tay kamaal he ker ditta su is subject ki to Tuition b nhe parhi thi.
Jin: ho ho ha ha
=kya hukam hai mere aaka?

Pathan: Ek sher suna do

Jin:
hukam karo bakwaas nahi
Mai Jin hun faraz nahi

Pathan :wah wah wah:-)
Dunya k 5 Mushkil Tareen Kaam:
1. Hathi ko Dhakka lagana.
2. Machchar ki Malish karna.
3. Choonti ko Kiss karna.
4. Zarrafay ki Gardan Dabana.
and ...
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5. Aap se Smile ki umeed karna.
Teacher,: Titanic kaisay dooba?

Pathan:

Dubuk
Dubuk
Dubuk
Dubuk
Dubuk
Dubuk

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Gurr
Gurr
Gurr
Gurr
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Puchik
Hey guys very good news. You can now watch free starplus on your mobile. keep following
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.thora aur neechay jao aur free starplus dekho aur mazay karo
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*+

(dekh liya starplus maza aya)
ishu good all,
bara faltoo time hai yaar loogoon k pass, itna fazool lateefa parhney k liye, hahahahahahah
ahlan wasahlan`
marhabah
ahlam ya habibti,kaifal haal itnee
ye jokes ki side hai bachooon, hal ahwaal txt kar k pooch looooooooo,, arbiyooonnnn
Pathan :- Ye Plastic surgery Ka kitna paisa lagay ga ?

Dr :- 2 Lakh

Pathan :- Agar Plastic Hum day de tu ........... ?
Teacher:
Tell me the Bird name by seeing its legs only

Sardar:
I dont know

Teacher:
You are failed. Tell me your name.

Sardar:
See my legs and tell me m
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.
.Ek Bus Conductor ki Shadi ho rahi thi,
wo stage pe sofay pe bethey hoey Apni Dulhan se bola:

"Zara idhar ho k betho BAaJi ek sawari or bhi Baith sakti hai
Urdu Ki Pehli Book...1947

Alif...Annar

By....Bakri

Py....Pankha . . . .

Urdu Ki 1st Book 2008

Alif...Aataa

By....Bijli

Py....Petrol
Interviewer:what is skeleton?
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Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
When I was Born , GOD Said , "Oh No! An Other IDIOT".

When U were Born ,GOD Said , "Oh No! COMPETITION".
Ek Dafa ek larki bus me safar kar rahe the
k
achanak ek baba jee ka paun us ka paun pe agaya.
Baba Jee said " SORRY"
Larki gusya se said "Hun, apni auqat me raho"

trhori dar baad ek larkay ka paaun us ka paaun pe aya to wo bhe bola "SORRY"
larki ne smile kya. Baba gee jal kay boly


"MARYA SORRY KAY SPELLING GHALAT SI?"
Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Positon li News channel walu ne pucha

K ab kia kro gay?

Pathan

bachpan se aik khuwab hy

k hum apna tandoor khole GA.
Teacher : Kal tum school kyun nahin aaye ?

Student : "Gir gaya tha aur lag gai thi"......

Teacher : "Kahan gir gaye thay aur kya lag gai "?

Student : " PALANG PE GIR GAYA THA AUR AANKH LAG
GAI THI"..........
Pathan to Sardar: Tell me any 5 animals name live in water?
Sardar: Frog
Pathan Theek hai, or batao,
Sardar: Frog da Piyo, Maa, Pra or Behen.
Pathan: Shabash......
WIFE OR HUSBAND MEIN LARAI HO GAI

HUSBAND:MERA DIMAGH KHARAB NA KARO

WIFE: TUM MERA DIMAGH NA KAHARA KARO

HUSBAND: KHAMOSH HO JAO WARNA MERA ANDAR KA JANWAR BAHA AJAYEGA

WIFE:HAN AJANE DO MEIN CHOZE SE NAHI DARTI
hahaha gud one eqra
AHLAN WA SAHLAN

kider ho grass kah li na?
hann tazzi thi mazy ki
sari kah li kia?
Pakistani cricketer's Email Id's:

Kamran Akmal: drop-a-catch@crucial-stage.com

Younis khan: useless@all-levels.com

Shoaib malik: useful-only@india-matches.com

Misbah: Selfish@ball-wasting.com

Shahid afridi: over-rated@boom-boom.com

Fawad Alam: why-im-here@god-knows.com

Umer Gul: yorker-master@t20-only.com

Salman Butt: Parchi@Ijaz-butt.com

Ijaz Butt: bekaar-baba@aahoo.com

Razak: main-ki-karan@vik-gaye-saray.com
A Smaal Boy Took A Knife And Wrote His GirlFreind's Name On His Hand..

5 Minut Later he Start Crying Loudly

Why.....?:???

Pain
No..
Spelling Mistake
Ghalib ne aisa sher mara..


wah wah wah...

Ghalib ne aisa sher mara


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Ghalib ne aisa sher mara
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k sherni vidvah hogai
Pathan wapda office phone kar k bola:

Janab light band kardo

wapda wala : Kiue sir

pathan:wo yara hamara dimagh mein aik naya gali aya hai wo tumko dena hai
Teacher: Tunharay abbu ka kya naam hai??


Sardar: Google singh


Teacher (Herani se): Ye kesa naam hua???


Sardar: Bas ji............... main jithay V hovan abba menu labh lainda ay.....
Malik:
Tum kisi kaam se jatay ho to 2,3 ghantay tak wapis hi naheen aatay.......???

.

.

.
Nauker:

Janab aap ne hi to kaha tha k BIJLI ki tarha ana aur BIJLI ki tarha jana....
insan shadi q krta hy...???
is leay takey marny k ba'd
agar wo jannat mein jaey tu
acha feel kry.

aur...

agar jahannum mein jaey tu...
ajeeb na lgy...
Pakistani cricketer's Email Id's:

Kamran Akmal: drop-a-catch@crucial-stage.com

Younis khan: useless@all-levels.com

Shoaib malik: useful-only@india-matches.com

Misbah: Selfish@ball-wasting.com

Shahid afridi: over-rated@boom-boom.com

Fawad Alam: why-im-here@god-knows.com

Umer Gul: yorker-master@t20-only.com

Salman Butt: Parchi@Ijaz-butt.com

Ijaz Butt: bekaar-baba@aahoo.com

Razak: main-ki-karan@vik-gaye-saray.com
Bara Mushkil hai teacher se Piyaar Karna Faraaz...!!!!
Love Letter Bheja Tha,
Sign ker k 3 Star de Diyie....
http://youtu.be/mMP7Ys57ha4
kash ye sach hota:-) lolzzzzz
hehehehhhehehehh mar ja kanjar ki olad?
hehehehheheheheh
@ishu funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny
thanku @jo tum bhi kabhi joke mar diya karoo
Wife
Bivi
Begum

mein kia farq hai????????
?
?
?
Kuch farq nahi hai Dost!!

Yeh
Hindustan
India
Baharat
ki tarha 1 he Musibat k 3 Alag Alag naam hain
Martin Luthor says................
If u can't fly
then run
If u can't run
then walk
If u can't walk then crawl
But keep moving

Sardar ji: O tay theek aiy, par jana kithay aiy?
a my a my

thay my a my

my a my thay my
my thay my
..

..


..

..

..

..

..

khula nahi hai maaf karo
Teacher: Jab Bijli Chamkti Hai To Hum Ko Roshni Pehley Or Awaz Baad Mein Q Aati Hai?

Indian: Q K Hmari Ankhein Agey Hain Or Kaan Peechey..
In Rain

U must b feeling to go out

Dance around
...
Sing songs

Meet friends

Jump around

Its very natural..

Every 'FROG' feels the same...
Meera was travelling in a plane,

Some one asked: I think u r suffering from cold & fever,

MEERA: No, i m suffering from Lahore to Karachi ...!
Her mard ki life main 3 dolls hoti hain.

1. Us ki beti {baby doll}

2. us ki girl friend {barbie doll}


3. us ki biwi {pena doll}


wo b extra........... :-)
#772 is good but only the 2nd part.
Ik boht kaali larki ko jadugar ny jadu sy par laga diaye

Larki khush hoty hoye: Wowww, To ab main pari ban gai hun....

jadugar: Nai Pagli,


Tu "CHIMGADAR" ban gai ha....
Ek INDIAN ja raha thaa PATHAN SAY takar ho gaye
INDIAN:SHAMA chahta hoin
PATHAN:SHAMA ko to main bhee chahta hai lakin us ka BAAP nhee manta.
ye batao tum nay takar Q mara........
Sardar K Restaurant Per Customer Ne Kaha:

O Sardar Ji Soup Me Makkhi Hai,

Sardar Ji: Oye! Dil Bara Ker Yaar,

Makkhi Tera Kitna Soup Pi Jaye Gi
Usko Rab se itne Bar Manga hai,

'Dost'

k Ab Hum Sirf Haath Uthate Hy to Farishte Kehtay Hain
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"Kaka Tainoo Hor
koi kam nai"...
"Ye Dunia sirf
Larkion k Liye he"

Larki zor se
Hanse to
Khoobsoorati,
Larka zor se Hanse to
Dungar,

Agar Larki meetha Bole to piari Lagy,
Larka meetha Bole to Faradia,

Larki shoping kare to Riwaj,
Larka shoping kare to "faltu pesey ny kol",


Larki khamosh Rahe to Ghamgeen,
Larka khamosh Rahe to "tenu
ki mout pe gai a",


Larkian mill k chalein to Group,

Larke mill k chalein to "Baghertan da ToLa"
Tere janay k baad

Share



Ajeb si halat hy tere jany k bad



Mje bhuk hi nhi lgti khany k bad



Mre pas 4 hi samosy thy jo maine kha lye Fraz



2 tere any sy pehly 2 tere jany k bad.:-)
Hamari Qismat Ka Ye Pehlu To Zara Daikho "FARAZ"

Jab Humne Usy Kaha:"I LOVE YOU"

Wo Boli:Lala mala English Na wrzi.
(bhai mjhe english nahi ati)
Hosley saarey aazama beitha.......
Main zamaney kay ghum utha beitha
Jis ki chahat main umer bhar tarpa
Ussi ki shadi ka ZARDA kha beitha...!!!
Ek Pathan Interview Deny Gaya...


Interviwer: Where is Abu Dabi ?


Pathan: Jis Qabristan mei meri ammi dabi, wahin par meri abbu dabi...
wo kon se cheez ha jaise aaga se ALLAH ne banya ha aur pecjhy se insan ne
socho scho

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jaldi socho
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.
samjh me nahi aya kia
chalo me bata data hoon mat socho etna zeyada
wo cheez ha khota gari
3 hubshi dost ikathay ja rahay thy
kay achanak 1 pari ayi or kaha
Ky mai tum 3 ki 1 , 1 wish puri karun gi...

1st : main gora or handsome hona chhta hun....
pari ne us ki wish pori kar di....


2nd walay ni bhi yahi wish ki...
us ki bhi wish puri ho gai...


3rd wala hans raha tha
pari ni kaha haso mat or wish batao


3rd wala: in dono ko phir kala kar do......


MORAL:friends hote hi asiy hain.....
DUA
Arshad Ko Dua Mili K Sada Hnsty Muskraty Raho, Aj Wo Pagal Khany Me Hy

.
Ajmal Ko Dua Mili k Dunya Tere Ishary Pr Chaly,Aj Wo Trafic Constabl Hy
Tipu Ko Dua Mili K Teri Zindgi Me Phol Khilty Rahen,Aj Wo Schol Me Mali Hy
.
Bublo Ko Dua Mili K Sada Chamkty Raho Aj Bablo K Sr Py 1 B Bal Nhi
.
Tabasum Ko Dua Mili Hmesha Logo K Dukh Drd Me Kam Aao, Tabsum Aj Nurs hy)
.
Ap bolo Apko kon c Dua di jae.4r Alll

Bara kehty ho k Dua me yad rkhna..............ab bolo
Bazigar 0 bazigar,
Teri mummy ko razi kr,
Tu ne dil mera tora,
Mene ELFI se jorha,

Mere ELFI ke pesey wapas kar

Bazigar O bazigar......
Honto se tere

Honto ko main gila ker doon,

Tere honto ko main or bi rasela ker doon,

Tou is qadar maza de ke

Maze ki intiha ho jaye,

Tere honto ko choom ker khud ko or bi

Joshela ker doon,





Haaye meri pyari Pepsi

hahahahahahahahaha

(b positive yar)
@ishu kahan ho yar
ishaan very very coooooooooool jokes hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahhahhaah
@jo tumsay toh bas iss kisam k jokes ki umeed ki ja sakti hai u fool waisay funny tha hehehehe
b positive yar bus mere pas aise he hute hain jokes
baith kr mehbooba ki zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya....
.
.

..

wah wah

baith kr mehbooba ki zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya....

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Biwi ne dekh liya, aur I.C.U. me hosh aaya...
Santa ka radio kharab ho gaya,
Khol kar dekha toh andar chuha mara pada tha.
Santa dekh kar bola,
.
.
Yeh lo chalega kaise, singer toh mar gaya hai..
nice one ishaan:)
HUSBAND : jan mene socha call karlun, tum miss karrai hogi

WIFE: Or 5 mnt pehle jo larai ki thi wo kiya tha

HUSBAND: ..
.
O FiiTey Mun Phr Ghr ka Number Mil gyaa:
thanx griffeen
HUSBAND : jan mene socha call karlun, tum miss karrai hogi

WIFE: Or 5 mnt pehle jo larai ki thi wo kiya tha

HUSBAND: ..
.
O FiiTey Mun Phr Ghr ka Number Mil gyaa:
HUSBAND : jan mene socha call karlun, tum miss karrai hogi

WIFE: Or 5 mnt pehle jo larai ki thi wo kiya tha

HUSBAND: ..
.
O Phr Ghr ka Number Mil gyaa:
HUSBAND : jan mene socha call karlun, tum miss karrai hogi

WIFE: Or 5 mnt pehle jo larai ki thi wo kiya tha

HUSBAND: ..
.
ohh Phr Ghr ka Number Mil gyaa:
hahahahahaha
Girl: Barish Ki
Bondon mai
teri yad aati hai,

Sawan K
Mosam mai
teri yad aati hai,

Boy: Darama na kar Mujhe Yad hai
Teri Chatri Wapis Deni Hai
shaadi main jin aagaya larkiyon ki cheekh nikal gai
1 buzurg ney kaha larkiyan wazoo kar k aaen to jin ki cheekh nikal gai
Larki: Jb tmhe meri yad ati ha to tum kia krte ho?

Larka: Janu tumhari favorit ch0colate kha leta hun.
0r tm kia krti ho?

Larki: main bhi 2 gold leaf pi leti
hun.
Mkhi Or Mchar Ki shadi

Machar kamre se bahr tehal rha tha us k dost ne pouch bahir kya kr rhe ho andr jao

Machar:teri bhabi andar MORTEIN laga k bethi ha....
A man was throwing knives on his wife pic....

all were missing d target....

Suddenly he received a call

from his Wife

Wife: hey wht r u doing??

he honestly replied......

"JUST MISSING U"
coooooooooool yar ishu kahan ho yar tum?grass aj kal kuch zada nai kah rahe ho bus karo mote ho jao gay
hanji idhar hi hoonn mainay kahan jana haiy ahn say hehehehe
ajj bari tazzi tazzi aii thi grass bas dil nai cha raha hai chornay ka lolz
@jo ahh ja warna khatam ho jai gi
good jokes ishaan :)
thanku @zeus
A guy went to his neighbour , there an old couple lived.
He went inside & found that that the old man still called his wife
with cute names Like sweet, honey etc
Guy: Its sweet!after 55 years you still call your wifewith such cute names.
Old Man(WHISPERED):Her name had slipped out of my mind 2 years ago
and i am scared2 ask wat is it?...
aik sardar ki shadi ho rahi hoti hy .
jab rukhsti ka time hota hy to dulhan pahly apni maan ky galy lag ker roti hy
pher bap ky
pher bahan ky ,
pher bhai ky,,,
serdar ya sub maajra dakhny ky bad dulhan sath ly jany sy inkar ker data hy,,,,,,,,, serdar kahta hy ,.



thuwady ko ty chup nai hondi , mery koloon kiddan chup kery gi!
Sardar ji is at Microsoft for a job.
Interviewer: Which are the 4 versions of Java?
Sardar: Mar Java, Mit Java, Lut Java te Sadke Java !!!
4 u @jo
aik dehati sher main ghum raha tha
ke achanak aik gadhe ne is ko lat mar di.
jawab main dehati ne bhi gadhe ko teen
char laten rased kar dein or bola to kya
samajta hay.agar tu sher main rehta hay
to hum kya kisi se kam hain.
Very nice ishaan, thanks
when a black cat falls down, what will the white cat say ???
don't start thinking like an intelligent person .
it will only say
.
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.
.
.
.
MEAOWN
Mohabbet pehli baar hoo to
"bhola Pan"
Doosri baar ho too
"Apna Pan"
Teesri baar hoo to
"DEEwana pan"
Or agar bar bar ho to
o hello
.
"Banda ban"
Teacher: is ki english karo,
"IDHER AAOO BETA"
.
.
.Sardar:

"COM PUTER"
If you want to remove your Wrinkles, Pimples, Acne, Black Heads and any signs of Burnns from your Skin..............
Just Try.
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"ADOBE PHOTOSHOP".
Machar ka bacha pehli baar urra, jab woh wapis aya tou uss k baap ne poocha
"urr k kaisa laga?"


Bacha bola, "Bohat maza aya, her koi mujhe dekh ker taali baja raha tha"
very nice jokes
thanku muslimk
Child to Sikh Dentist ..!!

"Kya Dard Ke Bgair Bhi Daant Nikalay ja saktay Hain?"

Dentist: Nahi..!

Child: Agr Main NikaL doOn?

Doctor: NikaLo.


Child: He he he he
A newly married husband saved his wife's mobile number on his mobile as "My Life"

After one year of marriage he changed the number to "My Wife"

After 2 years of marriage he changed the number to "Home"

After 5 years of marriage he changed the number to "Hitler"

After 10 years of marriage he changed the number to "Wrong Number"
If Mathematicians Became Film Producers,
The Title Would Be Something Like This...

* Kabhi Limit Kabhi Continuity

* Main Log Ki Deewani Hoon

* Calculus Wale Vector Le Jayenge

* Hum Solution Nikal Chuke Sanam

* Humara Differential Aapke Paas Hai

* Kyun? Summation Ho Gaya Na

* Maine Maths Kyun Liya

* 3 Variables

* My Name Is Integration and I Am Not Derivative.
WOH na mili to USKI yaadon k saharay jee lenge,

warna

USKI shaadi me Jaa K

?

?

?

?
COCA COLA
Hi Pee lengy.
Pakistan ki aurat'on ka Ariel per aetmaad.



Mere khasband ko khanay ki bilkul tameez nahi hai,
janwaron ki tarhan khana kha ke hath shirt se saaf ker lena.
Unki ek he shirt hai jo main roz dho ker soti thi.
Aik din un ke dost ne un per paan ki peek thook di.
Pehle tou main ne unko bohat mara, phir mere abu ne Ariel ka kaha.
Ab main Ariel unki pocket main daal deti hoon, jahan daag lagay waheen baith ker dho lete hain.
Main khasband ko chor doongi per Ariel ko nahi
God asked a man his wish.
Man said, "God please give me a bachelor days back".
God laughed and said, "Beta MANNAT mangne ko kaha tha JANNAT nahi !
Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viran
na janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
&
sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam
A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
TV Reporter Ne Ek Zakhmi Aadmi Se Puchha-
Jab Bomb Gira To Kya Wo Phat Chuka Tha?
Zakhmi Gusse Se: Nahi, Wo chal Kar Mere Paas Aaya Aur Sharma Kar Bola ''Fuussssss............;-)
Teacher : Who Invented The "I Love You"

Student : China

Teacher : HOw?
.
.
.
Student : Its Has NO Guarantee & Quality.. If Works, Till Forever.. If Not, Then No Ever
If Girl In Luv,
Her Parents Ask:
Who Is Dat IDIOT?
If Boy In Luv,
His Parents Ask:
Idiot,Who Is Dat Girl?

MORAL:No Matter
Whoever In Luv,
Boyz R Always Idiots...
Boy to Girl: Koi aisi baat kaho jis mein khushi bhi ho aur dukh bhi.




Girl: I Love you Bhai-Jaan!
1 Bacha apni Maa se pitney k bad....

Papa kabhi ap jungle gye ho?

Papa: Nahi............

Baccha : Phir ap itna khofnaak item kahan se pakar laye.....
Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?


Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...
An old woman came to prophet Mohammad (pbuh) & ask about the paradise! Prophet (pbuh) said to her that old woman will never go to paradise, after listening this.. old woman became real upset. Then prophet (pbuh) smiled and said b/c you would enter to paradise as a young & beautiful lady not as a old lady.
Shadi shuda Murgee maathe par sindoor lagaati hai use kya kahte hai?
.

.
naHI pata?
.
simple
Ans : Chicken Tikka..
Newton's First Law Of "AASHIQI"

Every Aashiq Contineus To Do Aashiqi Until & Unless A 'Tamaacha' Or 'Sandal' With

A Velocity Of 9.8m/s Is Impressed Upon Him By A Beautiful Girl..

This Force Is Called 'Beizzati' Which Is Directly Proportional To 'Sharmindgi' But

Aawarapan Remains Constant.
uss bewafa ki yaad mein hum ne jaam haathon mein utha liya.
.
.
phir lagaya bread pay aur fatafat khaa liya..

beta, harr aashiq sharabi nahi hota
Ek sardarni ko apne sardar per bohat pyar aya tou boli ke

"suno ji tussi hazaron main aik ho"

sardar ne usko keench ke ak thapar mara

aor

pucha....

"baqi 999 kon hain"
1 admi k 3 dost thy
3no doctor thy
2 pagal ty
1 ko samjh ni thi
Jis ko samj ni thi
Us k 3 hospital thy
2 band thy
1 khulta ni tha
Jo khulta ni tha
us me 3 fans thy
2 band thy
1 chalta ni tha,
Jo chalta ni tha,
us ko 3 mechanic k pas le gye
2 ko kam ata ni tha
1 se hota ni tha
Js se hota ni tha
Us k 3 shagird thy
2 aty ni ty
1 ghr me rhta tha
Jo ghr me rhta tha
Wo wohi shuru wala admi tha jis k 3 dost thy
Mre b 3 dost the 2 pagal hogy or 1 abi ho raha he
Teacher asked Santa : Let me know
your Father's name in English.

Santa : Sir it is Butter Red.

Teacher : What nonsense. Tell me clearly.

Santa said: Sir it is Makhhan Lal. (Butter Red)
Teacher:
"Translate into english... In Barishon Se Dosti Achi Nahi FaRaZ..
Kachcha Tera Makan Hai Kuch To Khayal Kar!"

Sardar:
..."Friendship With These Rains Is Not Good
FaRaZ..
How Cheap Is Your Home, Behave Urself!" ...
very nice and good try ishan keep up the good work as alwayzzzz
once a man was listening to a dars in the masjid and this one night he learned that: "praise your wife's cooking when she cooks for you b/c this makes her very happy". So this guy goes home thinking that I will praise my wifes cooking today and make her happy.

He goes home and when his wife presents him food, he praises it limitlessly and continues praising. his wife starts crying, so he gets worried wondering that she was supposed to get flattered, so he asks her why she is crying, she says: "For 10 years, I have been cooking food for you and you never said anything nice about my cooking and today when the neighbors sent the food, you praise endlessly"
1st pagal yAr main aksar
khuab dekhta hoon,
ke mera aik paon zameen
par ha or dosra asman par,
2nd pagal is thara ke
khuab na dekha karo shalwar
phat jae gi,
thanku muslimk
@jo 2 gud heheheehhehe
thankuu @ishu bus tum aise khuabo se bach ke rehna????????
Allama iqbal n wapda mai cheez common he....
dono kaa 1 hi mission :
SOI HUI QAUM KO JAGANA
Facebook" wants to know "whats on my mind"..??

"Twitter" wants to know "what I am doing"..??

"Foursquare" wants to know "where I am"..??..

Damn.:@

The INTERNET has turned into a WIFE!!!!!!
Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
than what are made in Hell?

Answer: The days after marriage!..............
Aftr engagemnt!
Girl:
Now stop looking at girls,u r commited now!
Boy:
Oho what do u mean,
if i m on diet,
that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . .
FaQEEr: Baji BhUkA hOon Allah K Naam pEr KhanA dE dO..
.
.
Baji: Khana Abhi nAhI Paka
.
.
.
.
FaQEEr: Baji FacebOOk Pe Baba Niaz K Naam sE hoOn Pak Jaye tO Wall Pe UpdatE Kar Dena..
khi khi khi
khotay aisay hastain hain lolz
gala thora kharam ha,
sory kharab
Zardari Ki car K niche 1 chota Puppi aa K mar gya.
Zardari ne driver se Kaha is K maalik Ka Pta Kro
Jub driver waps aya to us K galay me bohat se phool thay
Zardari:Ye Kia hai?
Driver: Sir me ne logon se sirf yahi Kaha K

Me zardari ka driver hun,
Kuttay Ka bacha mar gya hai
Unhon ne agli baat suni hi nhi
1 pathan library me 2 ghante 1 book prhne k baad bola: So boring, so many characters bt no story!

Then librarian said : "O anni deya !! This is TELEPHONE DIRECTORY
comment nai ah rahay hian????
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh joooooooooooooooo